U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Relationships
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 1.5 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Jump to a detailed profile or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
Business Search - 14 Million verified businesses
Search for:  near: 
Closed Thread Start New Thread
 
Old 10-06-2010, 05:04 PM
 
Location: Living near our Nation's Capitol since 2010
1,378 posts, read 1,390,390 times
Reputation: 2446
This is a very sad situation indeed.

The advice already given above by both Urban Sasquash and Antlered Camataka are the best. In fact, there were some great replies. Bottom line is this: she was looking for a "sugar Daddy" and she found one. She played the innocent, sweet, studious game til she got what she needed.

I couldnt agree more..do NOT do the divorce by 10/8. There is a reason she selected that date...perhaps when her green card expires??

I have known at least 4 men, from 40-60 who fell for exactly the same come-on. Young, smart, "sexy/hot" Eastern European chicks who just fall all over these guys. They bed them, they wed them...and then the fun begins. He buys her a car, a house, clothing, but most importantly, often pays their tuition. Some have even paid for her Mother to come over and get a green card (oh, big surprise there!). The graduation comes and she goes. End of story..oh, not yet. She wants all the stuff they bought "together" plus in some cases, alimony.

Guys, please. Will you ever stop thinking with your other head? THEY ARE USING YOU. Yes, they put on a great show. They adore you, they have never met a guy 1) as sexy as you 2) as intelligent as you 3) as generous as you 4) as caring/considerate as you. She is under 30, he is over 40. There may be a VERY FEW who are legit..the rest are scam artists who actively discuss how to catch a Western guy. Why take the chance?

I clearly understand how angry and hurt and stunned you are. Instead of booze, I recommend legal aid, a therapist and strong friends to support you. I sincerely wish you well. Next time, please stay in your age group, go for the woman of character, history and funds of her own.

 
Old 10-06-2010, 05:18 PM
 
3,026 posts, read 1,869,374 times
Reputation: 2926
They don't want that though (a mature woman -zzzzz). They want a foreign hottie. Even in the same country most guys date younger, as young as their options allow. There are lots of smart attractive 40+ women out there, being overlooked by guys in their age group looking for something young and hot, foreign is a plus. So they take the chance.
 
Old 10-06-2010, 05:22 PM
 
Location: NYC
7,373 posts, read 6,510,496 times
Reputation: 9973
Quote:
Originally Posted by FlightAttendant View Post
<snip> Next time, please stay in your age group, go for the woman of character, history and funds of her own.
Either this, OR, consider what happens to be the cost of doing business.

If a guy doesn't mind spending the money to be with a younger woman who'd have nothing to do with him otherwise, so be it. Nothing wrong with that... so long as he doesn't start crying later when she's done with him or the money runs out.
 
Old 10-06-2010, 05:55 PM
 
Location: The Pizzle, FLorida and Poconos in Pa
362 posts, read 66,363 times
Reputation: 235
Quote:
Originally Posted by OngletNYC View Post

(Actually now that I think of it, almost all of us Americans think we are smarter than everyone else in the world. Men and women both.)
Very true. They are very smart.

Quote:
Originally Posted by OngletNYC View Post
Either this, OR, consider what happens to be the cost of doing business.

If a guy doesn't mind spending the money to be with a younger woman who'd have nothing to do with him otherwise, so be it. Nothing wrong with that... so long as he doesn't start crying later when she's done with him or the money runs out.
Can't believe I agree with both of these but I do. Just appreciate you've had a young hottie and either look for more or a woman who is less likely to hurt you. But leave this one be. She's made her choice. If she comes back, don't be a sucka.
 
Old 10-06-2010, 07:58 PM
 
Location: los angeles
13 posts, read 3,922 times
Reputation: 13
i have not seen one that came here with a green card , wow if you know of any let me know
PS why come USA to marry one of there own .they are looking for money and the high life and not to stand for bread in lines, and get ***** slapped by their men they date in Russia. no domestic abuse there sister its called deal with it over there. or get your ass out my home.
 
Old 10-06-2010, 08:04 PM
 
Location: Wherever women are
19,023 posts, read 12,625,984 times
Reputation: 11309
Quote:
Originally Posted by FlightAttendant View Post
This is a very sad situation indeed.

The advice already given above by both Urban Sasquash and Antlered Camataka are the best. In fact, there were some great replies. Bottom line is this: she was looking for a "sugar Daddy" and she found one. She played the innocent, sweet, studious game til she got what she needed.

I couldnt agree more..do NOT do the divorce by 10/8. There is a reason she selected that date...perhaps when her green card expires??

I have known at least 4 men, from 40-60 who fell for exactly the same come-on. Young, smart, "sexy/hot" Eastern European chicks who just fall all over these guys. They bed them, they wed them...and then the fun begins. He buys her a car, a house, clothing, but most importantly, often pays their tuition. Some have even paid for her Mother to come over and get a green card (oh, big surprise there!). The graduation comes and she goes. End of story..oh, not yet. She wants all the stuff they bought "together" plus in some cases, alimony.

Guys, please. Will you ever stop thinking with your other head? THEY ARE USING YOU. Yes, they put on a great show. They adore you, they have never met a guy 1) as sexy as you 2) as intelligent as you 3) as generous as you 4) as caring/considerate as you. She is under 30, he is over 40. There may be a VERY FEW who are legit..the rest are scam artists who actively discuss how to catch a Western guy. Why take the chance?

I clearly understand how angry and hurt and stunned you are. Instead of booze, I recommend legal aid, a therapist and strong friends to support you. I sincerely wish you well. Next time, please stay in your age group, go for the woman of character, history and funds of her own.


Karma always gets to them. They are answerable to God some day.
 
Old 10-06-2010, 08:26 PM
 
Location: los angeles
13 posts, read 3,922 times
Reputation: 13
thank you some much for your advise, she move out on the 1 ST Oct, text me and said she would like us to be friend ? on the 5th. and will try to help me with some money. does not want to tell me where she is staying, or who, but told me its not a guy, and that she will need to get her own apartment soon.
their I'm right now. I miss her so much but i refuse to call her. I need to see her to do bank stuff and bills. What do you think?
 
Old 10-06-2010, 08:32 PM
 
Location: state of procrastination
3,458 posts, read 3,286,918 times
Reputation: 2696
Quote:
Originally Posted by Antlered Chamataka View Post
I will NOT bash my neighbours and prospectively new business partners
LOL I guess I feel justified in bashing my own people.
 
Old 10-07-2010, 05:43 AM
 
Location: NYC area
3,486 posts, read 3,146,522 times
Reputation: 3731
I am a little late to get into this thread, but for what it's worth, here is my two cents (and I apologize if I'm repeating what others have already said):

1. For the love of God, get yourself a lawyer. A good one -- a litigator. I know you said you can't afford one, but come on. Call friends, relatives, borrow money, sell stuff. I am sure you can scrounge a few thousand dollars for something that's important. And trust me, this IS important.

2. Do not -- DO. NOT. -- sign ANY document that hasn't been reviewed by an attorney. Do not sign it even if you think you understand what it says. It doesn't matter that she wants a divorce by October 8. Who the f- cares what she wants?

3. Turn the tables. The first thing I would do is countersue for an annulment based on fraud. The effect of an annulment is to make it as if the marriage didn't take place at all. It's very doubtful that the US Attorney's office will go after her for fraud; the government only does that with people who do this sort of thing repeatedly or operate "match-making" services for fictitious marriages. And, it's not at all guaranteed that you would actually obtain an annulment at the end, because fraud is very difficult to prove in a court of law. However -- and as a litigator, I can tell you that this is the most important thing in any proceeding -- the sudden risk of losing her green card will immediately change the odds in your favor. Right now, it seems like she's holding all the cards. You've got to change the stakes, and I think a countersuit for an annulment is the way to do it. And even if you lose the counterclaim, the evidence introduced in its support will help you defeat any claim for alimony or property distribution.

Finally, there is a thought that's lingering in my head that perhaps it's not all black-and-white. Posters here have been very quick to vilify this woman as someone who defrauded a naive, love-struck guy into marrying her and giving her immigration status -- and it's probably, mostly true. However, there is also the fact that she supported her husband for 6 months after he became unemployed. And though the shorthand version of the events says he bought her a car, we also learn in the parentheses that the car is financed and she's the one who's paying the bills; which makes me wonder, what are the odds that the nursing school too is financed with loans that the wife is paying back? I am not at all trying to justify what she did, and I still lean towards the conclusion that she duped the OP into marriage in order to get a green card -- but, there are some things here that indicate that this may not be the case, or at least not the whole story. Keep in mind that in certain traditional cultures in Southeastern Europe, it is unthinkable for a woman to support a non-working husband (yeah, that's the flipside of traditional marriage), and a serious turn-off. While we are here telling the OP she only married him for his green card, there may be other people telling her that the OP only married her so that he could then sit back and have her work graveyard shifts to "repay" him for the green card. Unless I know the exact timeline -- when she got her permanent green card versus when she left the OP -- I really can't be sure what the primary motivation is here.

But then, hey, I'm just one of those evil Russians muddying the waters.
 
Old 10-07-2010, 06:45 AM
 
Location: South FL
9,444 posts, read 9,269,121 times
Reputation: 7860
Quote:
Originally Posted by tony208543 View Post
i have not seen one that came here with a green card , wow if you know of any let me know
PS why come USA to marry one of there own .they are looking for money and the high life and not to stand for bread in lines, and get ***** slapped by their men they date in Russia. no domestic abuse there sister its called deal with it over there. or get your ass out my home.
Majority comes here legally knowing that they are getting a green card. Just because you haven't seen it, doesn't mean it's true.

You are so ignorant in this post, it's disgusting. ALL of my Russian friends had fallen in love and married their own. In fact out of all Russian friends of mine, I'M THE ONLY ONE who married an American and actually got criticized for it by some, because most of Americans don't understand or appreciate our culture, our wicked sense of humor or our background.
Russians haven't been standing in line for bread since the 90s. That just shows how little you know about this country.

I won't deny that there is a segment of Russian women who trapped men into marrying them just for green card, but it's only a small segment.
And let's not forget how many Americans are happy with their Eastern European wives.

Quite honestly, this gone off topic, because you said that the wife wasn't even Russian, she was Romanian, I just felt the need to defend my people.
Last but not least, I wonder if perhaps she was right to dump your sorry ass!!! Someone who is so ignorant about Eastern Europeans shouldn't be married to one.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


Closed Thread

Over $79,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Relationships

All times are GMT -6.

2005-2014, Advameg, Inc.

City-Data.com - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25 - Top