U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Relationships
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 1.5 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Jump to a detailed profile or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
Business Search - 14 Million verified businesses
Search for:  near: 
 
Old 10-15-2010, 12:29 AM
 
47,586 posts, read 32,433,474 times
Reputation: 21467
Quote:
Originally Posted by xxbabeechick View Post
She probably collected those from social networks at the moment she decided to set up her mock thesis. I find it utterly ludicrous the idea that she was keeping notes for years meticulously plotting to set up a powerpoint presentation that wasn't going to go very far. Most of these hook ups were alcohol induced. No doubt she probably fudged and guessed on details to make it colorful, some she even admits not remembering in the presentation. The assertion that she went to a bar and had casual sex in a concerted effort to humiliate a bunch of people is only telling of the character of people who want to demonize someone they don't even know.

What sounds more plausible? College girl reflecting on years of drunk hook ups decides to make a personally amusing presentation to share with her friends or college girl meticulously planning, note taking and collecting espionage to create a powerpoint to shame a bunch of people?


Plain absurdity.
The whole powerpoint presentation shows an obsession with jocks. She was collecting them, and remembering even their names. To her they were more than one-night stands, they validated her. She doesn't seem to understand the difference between a cheap pick-up line and a true compliment, she seemed overly impressed by these jocks drunkenly remarking on her breasts and wanting to leave the bar with her.

What's so strange with this one isn't that some woman lurks in bars trying to hook up with popular or good-looking men and it's not that a party girl doesn't get drunk and get laid by pretty much anyone. That happens all the time - like I said earlier, you can see these women in every dive bar and every pickup bar, there are some that linger all the way til closing time, and by closing time at least someone will find them pretty enough to hit up. Some of course are picked up hours before closing time.

Her thesis has a stalker quality about it. She was taking notes, collecting pictures and names. Even it she meant to keep among friends it's rather weird. She seems to believe that she can hold something against guys who picked her up for quick easy sex - even though that was the deal all along.

She's nothing more than the typical groupie aka "the ultimate fan" only with much less class. The typical groupie of course adds up the celebrities that do her - but they keep their mouths shut - not for certain acts of course but they know better than to boast or do the kind of ranking and score keeping that Karen Owen did.

A groupie is a female who seeks status by having sex with some sort of celebrity male - and this is exactly why to Karen Owen, having sex with jocks was such a big deal to her. Groupies like Karen Owen are emotionally juvenile going way beyond normal fan behavior and teen crushes but I doubt she's any different than other groupies who gossip with each other of their "conquests", the conquests they made just hanging out behind the stage and offering themselves up easily.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message

 
Old 10-15-2010, 12:34 AM
 
Location: Astoria, NY
3,056 posts, read 1,217,224 times
Reputation: 2475
Quote:
Originally Posted by malamute View Post
The whole powerpoint presentation shows an obsession with jocks...She doesn't seem to understand the difference between a cheap pick-up line and a true compliment, she seemed overly impressed by these jocks drunkenly remarking on her breasts and wanting to leave the bar with her.
Um. Yeah. Having gone to college in the 2000s, this is so typical it's unreal. Nothing to remark on really.



And how hard is it to "remember names" and "collect photos" in the age of facebook? It's not like before when you had to be a stalker and take loads of time to gather pictures of people. It must have taken her way more time to actually correctly recall what happened in her drunken escapades.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 10-15-2010, 05:35 AM
 
Location: Center of the universe
23,423 posts, read 18,628,275 times
Reputation: 10977
Quote:
Originally Posted by Avienne View Post
Or that the rest of the world is blowing out of proportion because she happened to have gotten caught.
I don't know about out of proportion - what's the appropriate or proportional response to this train wreck? - but that speaks to my point. There are consequences to every action, intended or unintended, and that's doubly or triply so when it comes to sex.


Here's an interesting viewpoint:

Scandals at Duke say nation still can't have an honest talk about sex (http://tri-statedefenderonline.com/articlelive/articles/5344/1/Scandals-at-Duke-say-nation-still-cant-have-honest-talk-about-sex/Page1.html - broken link)
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 10-15-2010, 05:41 AM
 
Location: Center of the universe
23,423 posts, read 18,628,275 times
Reputation: 10977
Quote:
Originally Posted by xxbabeechick View Post
She probably collected those from social networks at the moment she decided to set up her mock thesis. I find it utterly ludicrous the idea that she was keeping notes for years meticulously plotting to set up a powerpoint presentation that wasn't going to go very far. Most of these hook ups were alcohol induced. No doubt she probably fudged and guessed on details to make it colorful, some she even admits not remembering in the presentation. The assertion that she went to a bar and had casual sex in a concerted effort to humiliate a bunch of people is only telling of the character of people who want to demonize someone they don't even know.

What sounds more plausible? College girl reflecting on years of drunk hook ups decides to make a personally amusing presentation to share with her friends or college girl meticulously planning, note taking and collecting espionage to create a powerpoint to shame a bunch of people?


Plain absurdity.

What's absurd is the excuse-making, the figurative pats on the back, and the encouragement this woman is receiving from certain quarters.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 10-15-2010, 06:09 AM
 
Location: Yucaipa, California
8,276 posts, read 9,454,222 times
Reputation: 4539
Its obvious karen owens has mental issues & shes loose like a $20.00 *****.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 10-15-2010, 07:19 AM
 
Location: Corydon, IN
2,985 posts, read 2,164,355 times
Reputation: 5615
Quote:
Originally Posted by Avienne View Post
Now, see, that ^^^ is compassion.

While I do think her judgment was off in sending that document out to her friends, I also think she's going to pay a price for it for much longer than most people do when it comes to the folly of their youth.

I've gotta hand it to you, Babee. You've pointed out something that a lot of folks have overlooked: This mistake of hers is not the sum of her life, nor is it the only side of her. It takes a certain amount of grace to see that.

On one hand you're correct, Avienne; this mistake is NOT the sum of her life.

That doesn't change, however, a very real aspect of human nature at large, which is that people are judgmental and thus when people do something which doesn't meet with the approval of others it gets judged.

If people were wiser and smarter then these forums would almost cease to exist in the first place. Answers would be obvious most of the time. There wouldn't be a great deal of controversy over much of anything at all; but that's NOT how the world works.

I love humor because there is always truth to humor, no matter how exaggerated the scenario may be for effect. It's what makes things funny. When Monty Python do something absurd it's not merely the twist in reality that makes it funny, it's the shock we enjoy, the look of appalled affrontedness on the face of the joke's "victim" because we can commisserate with someone by placing ourselves (and thereby, the sum of our experiences) in their shoes for the duration of the joke. It's why good jokes are funny to some and not to others -- lack of familiarity.

In a joke where a young man enters a pub in Ireland he sees an elderly figure besotted down at the end of the bar. One thing leads to another until he's engaged in questioning conversation with the old man, who begins to extoll:

See that wall running the length of the hills? I built that wall, stone by stone with these two hands... but do they call me Paddy the Mason? No...

See that pier running far, far out into the harbor? And the others beyond that? I built them all, post and plank, every nail, every scrape of the adz... but do they call me Paddy the Pier-builder? No...

The list goes on and on with some amazing accomplishments until the young man asks "What do they call you?"

The man takes a long drink and grunts "Aye... ye fook one wee goat... *grumble*..."


As I posted initially in this thread: The woman didn't give up her value as a worker; she didn't give up the value of any plans she ever made or any aspirations she's ever held -- but like it or not she gave up the element of trust when it comes to intimate relationships. She severely cut down on the number of men who, upon learning of this, will be willing to remain her partner, whether for disgust at the level of detail or for fear of ridicule. She hasn't done this over and over; the internet is not rife with many lists compiled by her -- but like it or not she put time and effort, even if it was meant as a joke, into compiling this. Some of those things were pretty verbose and, like it or not, it took TIME to put all that together into a powerpoint presentation.

By way of comparison, parents observe as neighborhood kids play and interact. And there's always that ONE kid...

Parents don't like him/her; parents don't trust him/her. It hasn't even been anything blatant or irreparable: He/she (either way but 'he' for the sake of brevity) was caught shoplifting a small bag of potato chips at the local convenience store; he's been in a couple of the fights so common among children on the street; he was seen with cigarettes at a very early age.

NONE of these things are so horrid they can't be dealt with reasonably; and yet when he's busted for trying to steal a car no one stops to ask what must his home life have been like? What part of the picture are we NOT seeing? None of that, simply a lack of surprise when bad goes to worse.

Heaven forbid the amount of pressure a young man who hooks up with this woman will feel when his parents learn about this.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 10-15-2010, 07:40 AM
 
Location: Corydon, IN
2,985 posts, read 2,164,355 times
Reputation: 5615
Quote:
Originally Posted by Avienne View Post
Or that the rest of the world is blowing out of proportion because she happened to have gotten caught.

Here's an interesting viewpoint:

Scandals at Duke say nation still can't have an honest talk about sex (http://tri-statedefenderonline.com/articlelive/articles/5344/1/Scandals-at-Duke-say-nation-still-cant-have-honest-talk-about-sex/Page1.html - broken link)

You want an honest talk about sex?

In some instances people should be more open to discussing sex; they simply take it WAY too seriously. I've said it for years and really believe it.


Now...

If you have any children (I honestly have no idea) of this young woman's age, I'd like for you to please, please encourage them to find and court her for marriage. After all, this one act is NOT the sum of her life; she's got a fine education from one of the best schools, she's got some very worthwhile goals, she's certainly not unattractive, certainly not unintelligent and apparently does not lack communication skills in the least. She has some absolutely amazing qualifications! So tell me, are you fine with your sons wedding her?

Please -- stop and really, really picture that before you answer. If you have no sons then picture some young man or other whom you really care for and close your eyes, really and truly imagine setting him up with this woman -- not only knowing what you know about her (and I hope you read the presentation she did, not just about it) but also revealing it to him and then encouraging him to pursue her. Honestly close your eyes and imagine it.



Honest about sex: Like it or not men and women ARE different and are judged by different criteria which are set up by the opposite sex as desirable. It obviously varies from person to person depending on how they've developed in accordance to their own life experiences. It really is just a question of checks and balances, weighing factors against one another.


Honest about sex: For men, there are women you JUST f*** and there are women you marry. For women, there are men you just want to have your nasty way with and there are men you marry.

Sometimes we get lucky and those are far from delineated; other times... not so much. For others, sex is meaningless; for some, it's practically everything and for others still, it's important but not the do-all, end-all of life.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 10-15-2010, 09:01 AM
 
8,681 posts, read 6,989,556 times
Reputation: 14892
Quote:
Originally Posted by Urban Sasquatch View Post
Please -- stop and really, really picture that before you answer. If you have no sons then picture some young man or other whom you really care for and close your eyes, really and truly imagine setting him up with this woman -- not only knowing what you know about her (and I hope you read the presentation she did, not just about it) but also revealing it to him and then encouraging him to pursue her. Honestly close your eyes and imagine it.



Honest about sex: Like it or not men and women ARE different and are judged by different criteria which are set up by the opposite sex as desirable.
I wouldn't set anyone up with her because she has recently demonstrated a huge lack of judgment with her indiscretion. I also suspect she might be an alcoholic. That does not mean she is an evil, rotten human being. That doesn't mean she cannot recover from this, and learn from it. That doesn't mean she deserves to be punished for it for the rest of her life.

And honestly? I have a theory: Those who bash this woman the most are probably the ones with the biggest skeletons in their closets. If there's one thing politicians and bible-thumping evangelists have shown us, it's that hypocrites tend to scream the loudest.

As for women being judge by different criteria, that is based on the assumption that women are either madonnas or hoes, that a woman is either "chaste" or a zlut.

Which is complete and utter nonsense. Women do have sex, and a lot of it. Women do have several partners. Women do have one-night stands. All of that is common. You'd be hard pressed to find a woman at 30 who hasn't done all of those things. Time to get rid of the double standard. Power-tripping oppression aside, it's just naive. In fact, it's so naive as to be a form of denial, and denial is never an honest approach.

Last edited by Yzette; 10-15-2010 at 09:13 AM..
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 10-15-2010, 09:10 AM
 
8,681 posts, read 6,989,556 times
Reputation: 14892
Quote:
Originally Posted by steel7 View Post
Its obvious karen owens has mental issues & shes loose like a $20.00 *****.

You've been making statements like that over and over on this thread. Why? Does it make you feel superior? Do you feel like you have some kind of moral high ground? Does it make you feel better about yourself to cut someone down over and over again? Or do you just have nothing better to do with your time?
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 10-15-2010, 11:54 AM
 
Location: Dallas, TX
376 posts, read 599,530 times
Reputation: 474
Quote:
Originally Posted by Redisca View Post
As I previously said in another thread, intelligent men think long-term. Stupid men marry "chaste" women not realizing that perhaps the reason these women were able to control their libido so well until their mid-to-late twenties is that their libido is, well, weak or non-existent; and then these men grow bitter from being married to women who don't want to have sex with them. Just something to ponder, I guess.
It may be just me, but...were I married, I'd rather have a low libido woman who's faithful than one with an average libido with a tendency to cheat. I guess I simply value faithfulness over a wild sex life. Sex should be seen as merely the icing on the cake of marriage, not the cake itself (admittedly, I'm pretty low libido at this time too).



Quote:
Originally Posted by Redisca View Post
Chaste in what sense? No woman I know wants to be with a man who's been changing partners like he's out to prove something. Concerns would be numerous: his health; his fitness to be in an exclusive, long-term relationship; any children he may have fathered; and obviously, ghosts coming back to haunt him and whoever he's with. Plus, the whole turn-off factor that accompanies promiscuity.
This I DO agree with. That's why I say if it's wrong for either gender to be promiscuous. They don't have to be married, but they do have to be at least in a monogamous relationship of some sort - and people who would make a high quality spouse for someone besides.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Redisca
Not many women would want a virgin, either, since a man who remains "chaste" after a certain age is either extremely religious or has veiled sexual hangups (or is a closeted gay). As in everything, there is a happy medium, and the meaning of that medium changes depending on the ages of the parties involved. (Or better yet, a healthy "don't ask, don't tell" policy. You see, all these "theorists" put the cart before the horse. If I see a man who seems very desirable to me for a variety of reasons, I assume he's gotten plenty of female attention in his life, and leave it at that;
Getting female attention is one thing - how frequently and to what extent he acted upon that female attenion is entirely another - for the very reasons you listed.

As for the virgin part, maybe he simply didn't have the opportunity, or she was the first one he met who was even moderately attracted to him AND that he could trust not to deceive her or something. If his virginity is such a big deal to her, then I dare say the relationship is not all that deep in the first place.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Redisca
And men should, and probably do, use the same approach: if you see a woman who seems very desirable and is older than her early twenties, assume she's been with a number of men. How great a number? None of your business.)
Actually, it would be my business because I wouldn't want to be with a walking petri dish. I suppose testing can take care of this worry, but it doesn't give the full picture of her overall sex life. Why? Because if I were here number 30, or even 15, then it's easier for her to cheat on me. Doesn't prove it, of course, but it does increase the probability she will do so.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Redisca
But to suggest that if a man wrote a "thesis" like that, it would not ruin his reputation with potential mates -- that's just nuts. Isn't this precisely what the "subjects" in this case are complaining about?
Here I do agree - men would be crucified in the media if they "used and abused" women like that- IF they publised a mock thesis a la Owen.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


Reply
Please update this thread with any new information or opinions. This open thread is still read by thousands of people, so we encourage all additional points of view.

Quick Reply
Message:

Over $79,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Relationships

All times are GMT -6.

© 2005-2014, Advameg, Inc.

City-Data.com - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25 - Top