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Old 05-11-2012, 01:36 AM
 
Location: The western periphery of Terra Australis
24,606 posts, read 55,920,063 times
Reputation: 11862

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Sorry dude but she probably didn't want to take it any further. Not every women who you have a good convo with or smiles with you does so because she's attracted to you. Alcohol just pumps up all these thoughts running through your head.
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Old 05-11-2012, 04:43 AM
 
Location: Everybody is going to hurt you, you just gotta find the ones worth suffering for-B Marley
9,516 posts, read 19,978,134 times
Reputation: 9417
"...a little smile would play around her lips"?

I don't see the mystery here. She found out what she wanted to know in your conversation and decided she wasn't interested but mistook your continued attention for expectations and whatnot. Easy to do when you wanted to walk her out. No big deal. Shrug it off and keep moving.
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Old 05-12-2012, 08:06 AM
 
900 posts, read 1,699,767 times
Reputation: 489
Quote:
Originally Posted by jasper12 View Post
No, that would have freaked me out too. I would have felt like the guy was expecting something or wanted to come home with me. Of course, I am older, and would have asked you what the heck you are doing, "Hello, I am LEAVING...if I wanted to leave with you, I would have TOLD you, Wierdo."

Geez, she is probably talking about this psycho guy she sort of liked, until he went creepy and followed her out to her car when she decided to leave. Like, STALKER FREAK...Geez, and all of her friends would just shake their heads about how weird and strange men are...creepy! Totally!
I don't get this. I feel like she didn't want to be asked out and thought you were going to ask. Some people don't like to say no to others , but she is not ready or doesn't want to go out with you , sorry.
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Old 05-12-2012, 08:14 AM
 
5,347 posts, read 7,185,467 times
Reputation: 7158
You just have to know how to play the game and stop putting women on pedsatals
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Old 05-12-2012, 08:59 AM
 
Location: England
1,168 posts, read 2,500,439 times
Reputation: 1009
You should have got in the car and followed her home. Then spent the night, stariing up at her windows. haha. THAT would have freaked her out!
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Old 05-12-2012, 09:17 AM
 
5,472 posts, read 7,592,818 times
Reputation: 5793
You know, one thing that caught my attention in the OP, is the poster talking about her changing so quickly. I could never quite get this either about certain women in my life. Ive been in several LTR, and during the break up phase, each and every woman turned from the warmest, sweetest thing on this planet to a complete monster incapable of compassion or any other human emotion. I know guys who go through divorces experience the same, as Ive talked to some of my friends that have been through it, and they all echoed what Im saying.

Of course guys can also be either happy, content or complete aholes, but it seems that guys for the most part remain alot closer to their usual self, and closer to what you would expect from someone you have known for quite a while. I believe guys exhibit alot more of consistency of character, when going through their ups and downs, while some women severely lack it.
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Old 05-12-2012, 09:37 AM
 
Location: State of Transition
102,126 posts, read 107,402,364 times
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This is one of those situations where you have to figure the person has had some bad experiences (seriously bad), from which she has not recovered. So she gets spooked at certain things that remind her of the past experience. (You're right--a switch had flipped.) You can't second-guess this stuff. Too bad it worked out that way. Did she ever return to the meet-up group?

btw, to use this as an example of why women are incomprehensible is a bit like using a war vet with PTSD as an example of why men are rage-aholics. I'm not being snide, I'm trying to put the encounter in perspective for you. Women get PTSD too, but they don't have to go to war to get it, it can happen in everyday life if some creep fixates on them, or in a dating situation, or even at work.

Quote:
Originally Posted by mandavaran View Post
Had an interesting but baffling experience today that shows me once again I don't understand women a bit.

I joined a group through MeetUp.Com that meets at local taverns to watch the Sunday football games. This was a singles group BTW so presumably all of us there were single. While there, I met a lady at my table and we seemed to get along great. We talked easily with each other, laughed a lot and seemingly were comfortable with each other. She seemed very interested in me and asked many questions about my life, background, childhood etc.

We each mingled with other people though. I, in particular, was speaking to a couple of ladies at our table and she was talking with another fellow quite a bit. She always came back to me though and we would resume our conversation very easily. Also, at times when we would grow silent, she would look directly at me, making and holding eye contact and a little smile would play around her lips. All in all, we were there almost 2 hours.

She mentioned she was leaving and I had only planned to stay a short while myself so as she was leaving, I told her I was going also and would walk out with her. All at once, it was as though a switch had flipped.

She mumbled something and practically ran out of the restaurant. I had not intended to ask her out or make any kind of move on her but maybe that's what she thought. I mainly just wanted to get her impressions of the group but she acted as though I had the plague. She walked out to her car and it so happens my car was parked in the same area so I ended up following her.

I don't know if she thought I was stalking her but she shouted a goodbye over her shoulder and walked to her car without a glance in my direction. BTW, this was a busy strip mall in broad daylight so I doubt she feared for her safety.

The whole thing was puzzling though. How could she be so warm, friendly and seemingly interested one minute and turn into the ice princess so soon? She certainly didn't seem shy in the restaurant and described herself as an outdoorsy free spirit and I definitely got the impression she was rather fearless and confident and not a shy little thing.

Well, there's always next Sunday but for the life of me I've given up on understanding women.
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Old 05-12-2012, 02:36 PM
 
12,101 posts, read 17,042,569 times
Reputation: 15764
Quote:
Originally Posted by mandavaran View Post
Had an interesting but baffling experience today that shows me once again I don't understand women a bit.

I joined a group through MeetUp.Com that meets at local taverns to watch the Sunday football games. This was a singles group BTW so presumably all of us there were single. While there, I met a lady at my table and we seemed to get along great. We talked easily with each other, laughed a lot and seemingly were comfortable with each other. She seemed very interested in me and asked many questions about my life, background, childhood etc.

We each mingled with other people though. I, in particular, was speaking to a couple of ladies at our table and she was talking with another fellow quite a bit. She always came back to me though and we would resume our conversation very easily. Also, at times when we would grow silent, she would look directly at me, making and holding eye contact and a little smile would play around her lips. All in all, we were there almost 2 hours.

She mentioned she was leaving and I had only planned to stay a short while myself so as she was leaving, I told her I was going also and would walk out with her. All at once, it was as though a switch had flipped.

She mumbled something and practically ran out of the restaurant. I had not intended to ask her out or make any kind of move on her but maybe that's what she thought. I mainly just wanted to get her impressions of the group but she acted as though I had the plague. She walked out to her car and it so happens my car was parked in the same area so I ended up following her.

I don't know if she thought I was stalking her but she shouted a goodbye over her shoulder and walked to her car without a glance in my direction. BTW, this was a busy strip mall in broad daylight so I doubt she feared for her safety.

The whole thing was puzzling though. How could she be so warm, friendly and seemingly interested one minute and turn into the ice princess so soon? She certainly didn't seem shy in the restaurant and described herself as an outdoorsy free spirit and I definitely got the impression she was rather fearless and confident and not a shy little thing.

Well, there's always next Sunday but for the life of me I've given up on understanding women.
I've had that happen to me a LOT in my life.

A nice girl starts chatting you up and you start to feel it because she is genuinely nice and you guys are kind of connecting.

Then, once you even hint at some romantic overture or the possibility of a one-on-one meeting, or her even showing up to your B-day party (common one for me), she'll get very UNcomfortable and start to become standoffish.

She's not physically attracted to you. Period (maybe she had a boyfriend...)

See. Women are not so hard to understand after all.

Move on to the next batter...
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Old 05-12-2012, 03:41 PM
 
199 posts, read 390,656 times
Reputation: 194
Quote:
Originally Posted by mandavaran View Post
Had an interesting but baffling experience today that shows me once again I don't understand women a bit.

I joined a group through MeetUp.Com that meets at local taverns to watch the Sunday football games. This was a singles group BTW so presumably all of us there were single. While there, I met a lady at my table and we seemed to get along great. We talked easily with each other, laughed a lot and seemingly were comfortable with each other. She seemed very interested in me and asked many questions about my life, background, childhood etc.

We each mingled with other people though. I, in particular, was speaking to a couple of ladies at our table and she was talking with another fellow quite a bit. She always came back to me though and we would resume our conversation very easily. Also, at times when we would grow silent, she would look directly at me, making and holding eye contact and a little smile would play around her lips. All in all, we were there almost 2 hours.

She mentioned she was leaving and I had only planned to stay a short while myself so as she was leaving, I told her I was going also and would walk out with her. All at once, it was as though a switch had flipped.

She mumbled something and practically ran out of the restaurant. I had not intended to ask her out or make any kind of move on her but maybe that's what she thought. I mainly just wanted to get her impressions of the group but she acted as though I had the plague. She walked out to her car and it so happens my car was parked in the same area so I ended up following her.

I don't know if she thought I was stalking her but she shouted a goodbye over her shoulder and walked to her car without a glance in my direction. BTW, this was a busy strip mall in broad daylight so I doubt she feared for her safety.

The whole thing was puzzling though. How could she be so warm, friendly and seemingly interested one minute and turn into the ice princess so soon? She certainly didn't seem shy in the restaurant and described herself as an outdoorsy free spirit and I definitely got the impression she was rather fearless and confident and not a shy little thing.

Well, there's always next Sunday but for the life of me I've given up on understanding women.
Weird....maybe she thought you planned to invite her back to your place Moderator cut: snip

Last edited by Keeper; 05-12-2012 at 05:56 PM.. Reason: keep it pg13
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