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They broke up because he cheated on her. I knew about the weekend because her daughter posted about it on her facebook. And yes i realize now the whole job thing was an excuse.
I dont like her..she did you a big favor, you dont need trash in your life.
I guess she likes the cheating and lying.
But remember there are lots of women who are divorced with kids that dont go running back to their ex's.
Oh he is going to cheat on her again..
Sorry i didn't mean to generalize, kind of upset at present. Your right about the red flags. This was a woman just out of a 12 year marriage when i met her. The ex had cheated on her thats why she says she kicked him out. Before him she had a child with a guy that beat her up. Before that she says she was date raped and given an std. Her mom is on marriage # 4 and her father left when she was 8 and she hasnt seen or spoken to him since. Hmmm maybe the problem is with me huh?
Ya think?
I don't think you are a bad person...I think you fall for the broken wing syndrome. Poor me, Poor me.
After a while you will get caught in the web of misery.
Stop feeling sorry for people. Get a grip and leave those type alone.
It took some time for me to realize I was doing similar actions as you. Feeling sorry for people and doing things for them to help them. I have since wisely stopped that garbage. I do nothing and feel nothing now for those type of individuals.
Sometimes an education like this is really hurtful. Other times it's just expensive. Pay attention to the red flags next time and you may not have to go through this again. Sometimes women don't ever forget about a 'first love', he might have been her's.
What i don't get is their divorce was very bitter. He cheated on her numerous times and she told me she never really loved him.
I don't think you are a bad person...I think you fall for the broken wing syndrome. Poor me, Poor me.
After a while you will get caught in the web of misery.
Stop feeling sorry for people. Get a grip and leave those type alone.
It took some time for me to realize I was doing similar actions as you. Feeling sorry for people and doing things for them to help them. I have since wisely stopped that garbage. I do nothing and feel nothing now for those type of individuals.
I think you nailed it. I mean she had every red flag imaginable at the start. But she plays the victim so well. She even said to me, me and the kids need someone to save us. Looking back she has always been the victim with every man in her life. Dad abandons her. BF date rapes her, next bf hits her, but she has a kid with him, then husband cheats on her. I fell for the whole thing.
After a 4 yr relationship i just found out my GF has gone back to her ex. We had been living together at my place for the last year, she is 44 Im 52 and she has a 6 yr old son with the ex and a 21 yr old daughter with some other guy she never married and she says beat her up. We agreed she was going to move back to her hometown about an hour away from me, because she was offered a good job there and couldnt find work here. Also her daughter goes to school there and wanted to live with mommy. We were going to continue to see eachother i thought. Well i find out she spent this entire last weekend with her ex husband. i figured something as she didnt return calls or texts. I started this relationship overlooking a lot of red flags and it came back to bite me. Never date a divorced woman with kids. Too much baggage that gets way too hard to carry. Still im furious!
You're angry and I can see why and don't blame you but it's true. You shouldn't generalize to all men never to date a woman with kids. The red flags should have been indicators for you that something wasn't quite right. I know plenty of single women with kids who do have their lives together (including myself when I was single). Now that you know the truth, just move on. I would recommend not dating until you are no longer mad about this. I would also recommend you talk to your g/f for clarification and closure on this matter.
I think you nailed it. I mean she had every red flag imaginable at the start. But she plays the victim so well. She even said to me, me and the kids need someone to save us. Looking back she has always been the victim with every man in her life. Dad abandons her. BF date rapes her, next bf hits her, but she has a kid with him, then husband cheats on her. I fell for the whole thing.
Listen, I have first hand experience in this sort of thing.
You may be the nicest person in the world and she will somehow get you to crack and make her a victim of your actions. If she feels she isn't getting the attention she wants then she will go after you. Only these ones are sly and cunning with their ways. Everyone should run to their aid when they are abused. If you call them out as a fraud there will be hex to pay my friend. I can tell you...you don't wanna go there.
After a 4 yr relationship i just found out my GF has gone back to her ex. We had been living together at my place for the last year, she is 44 Im 52 and she has a 6 yr old son with the ex and a 21 yr old daughter with some other guy she never married and she says beat her up. We agreed she was going to move back to her hometown about an hour away from me, because she was offered a good job there and couldnt find work here. Also her daughter goes to school there and wanted to live with mommy. We were going to continue to see eachother i thought. Well i find out she spent this entire last weekend with her ex husband. i figured something as she didnt return calls or texts. I started this relationship overlooking a lot of red flags and it came back to bite me. Never date a divorced woman with kids. Too much baggage that gets way too hard to carry. Still im furious!
I've read the whole thread and I'm so sorry you got yourself into this mess. My thoughts are with the children, Hopefully the 21 year old is able to deal with it (but probably not) but the little six year old is going to have a very hard time because you've been a major figure in his life since he was two years old and now the daddy figure he's known for 4 years is going to be ousted in favor of his biological father. This is very conflicting for a little boy.
If you really care, I'd suggest you take a deep breath and approach this whole situation rationally. Your ex is being a total ass, in my opinion, and so is her ex/father of her boy. And who knows what the 21 year old is going through?
You need to sit down and talk to each other and discuss what's best for the children and how you can alleviate their inevitable problems. I understand that you're hurt and ticked off but you can get over it eventually - but the children are the future and best you make every effort to ensure they don't have to feel guilty about or endure the results of the stupidity of their parents or caretakers.
I've read the whole thread and I'm so sorry you got yourself into this mess. My thoughts are with the children, Hopefully the 21 year old is able to deal with it (but probably not) but the little six year old is going to have a very hard time because you've been a major figure in his life since he was two years old and now the daddy figure he's known for 4 years is going to be ousted in favor of his biological father. This is very conflicting for a little boy.
If you really care, I'd suggest you take a deep breath and approach this whole situation rationally. Your ex is being a total ass, in my opinion, and so is her ex/father of her boy. And who knows what the 21 year old is going through?
You need to sit down and talk to each other and discuss what's best for the children and how you can alleviate their inevitable problems. I understand that you're hurt and ticked off but you can get over it eventually - but the children are the future and best you make every effort to ensure they don't have to feel guilty about or endure the results of the stupidity of their parents or caretakers.
I don't see how any of this stuff about the child is his problem; I think the best thing he can do is walk away without ever looking back. This is best for him as well as the child, who now has his biological set of parents back together as a couple again. A former shack-up buddy (sorry to be harsh, OP, but this is the reality) does not get a say in how two biological parents decide to raise their kid(s).
It isn't his job to ensure that the child doesn't feel guilty, nor is it his job to ensure the child doesn't face any fall out thanks to his parent's stupidity.
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