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do you feel there is an element of exaggeration here? Because if it is a true representation, I think people are overthinking things, and are bound to be unhappy to matter what type of relationship they are in.
Even if there is, I don't care. My own life is pretty boring, and I enjoy reading other people's dramas.
Depends what kinds of problems. And what circles one mixes in. I don't know people in jail, but given how high the US prison population is, then I'm surprised most Americans don't know somebody in prison. I guess it's a matter of circles and associations.
Everybody has relationship problems, of one kind or the other. Some people get abused (for all we know people we interact in daily life with were, who knows?)
I wouldn't say most problems people post in this forum are beyond the norm.
I can relate. Some of these threads are train wrecks the likes I hope to never encounter in my lifetime. Amazing.
Well, it's almost as if the posters fall into several broad categories:
1) Clueless about relationships. These are the people who simply are either too stupid or too obtuse to grasp even the basics of interpersonal relationships. These are the people who will argue on a message board about the need to say "please" and "thank you," but will wonder why in their next post why they can't stay in a permanent relationship, when it really boils down to being someone worth loving in the first place.
2) Self-Centered A-Holes. You know the types. The world revolves around them and their needs. And they don't even realize it. They're always posted on here about their newest outrage and then want validation. And are surprised when they don't get it.
3) The Fanatics. These are the uncompromising ones who have a convoluted, incredibly rigorous standard that gets applied to everybody else. They lack generosity of spirit and treat every conversation as if it were a personal battle to be won. These are people who are exhausting to be around and generally no fun. 12-Steppers typically fall into this category.
4) The Burnouts. The ones who are cynical about relationships, never seriously thinking that their own dysfunction might be the problem. Trust me. If you have started a sentence that begins with, "Why do all men/women...." you're one of them.
5) The Worthless Ones. So-called because they don't respect themselves enough to stand up for themselves. I feel sorry for these people, because they have indeed been beaten down in life. At the same time, if you're self-aware enough to complain on a message board, then you're self-aware to change your life. Get on with it already. You're not getting any younger, and the situation isn't getting any better.
6) The Brain-Deads. These are the ones who get into the strangest possible fixes, and then wonder how they got into this situation in the first place. Women who fall in love with prison inmates are a good example of this.
7) The Starry-Eyed Idealists. You know the type. The ones who use the terms Mr. Right or Knight in Shining Armor in conversation without a bit of irony. They still believe in what they saw in Disney movies decades earlier and are invariably disappointed when people behave like, well, people. Eventually, they turn into The Burnouts.
8) The Fascinated Voyeurs. Hey, I admit it. I'm one. I just can't believe some of the things people say. It's better than going to the movies.
I will say that the stories and posts I have shared at 100% truthful...no matter how screwed up they seem! Lying to strangers on the Internet doesn't make any sense to me. However, I generally live a day-to-day routine college life...with some unexpected surprises.
8) The Fascinated Voyeurs. Hey, I admit it. I'm one. I just can't believe some of the things people say. It's better than going to the movies.
I'm getting you here. And excellent recap, BTW. If we read these scenarios in a book or saw them in a movie, they'd seem highly unlikely. Or, if they were pulled off with a modicum of believability, the protagonist would not be a sympathetic one.
I'm both fascinated and grateful that I haven't fallen into the same pitfalls. Not that I've always been perfect ... I'm not, not by a long shot. Hey, I've been divorced twice; that's nothing to be proud of. But, I also know why this happened and what it was about me that got me into a relationship that had no chance of survival.
Mmm..nom..nom...nom....trainwrecks......they're so entertaining to watch!!
Yes, and while you're watching you miss that bus-full of tourists careening out of control straight at you...
Which, when you think about it, might be the reason so many people post on these boards - they'd rather watch the train-wreck of other peoples lives than confront their own. After all, we're a world full of spectators, with only a precious few actually participating.
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