Quote:
Originally Posted by carra
DennyCrane: I have to agree that a pessimistic guy can turn off. Personally though, I have noticed no difference in how women perceive me from my cheerful times to other quite dull seasons of mine. Maybe I have been double as attractive when I was cheerful, but it never got to the level where I was attractive enough, it seems.
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Two things. First, if they've seen you both dull and cheerful, it's entirely possible your dull moments made a more lasting impression. I might meet a girl who comes across as having low-self esteem and then see her again when she's upbeat. But despite seeing her upbeat, I'll still remember that I've seen her being down on herself and I might conclude that that's the real her. Second, people often project things about themselves that they're not fully aware of. So while you may have been cheerful at the time, even little comments or looks might signal that you're not as cheerful as you act. And even if you were, that still doesn't guarantee that you'll be attractive to someone. I meet confident women everyday, but I'm not attracted to all of them just because they have high self-esteem. That's just a starting point. But if they don't even have that, then I won't be interested in learning more about them.