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Old 10-13-2010, 08:01 PM
 
10 posts, read 23,849 times
Reputation: 22

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Age 44, divorced, 2 kids, aged 21 and 6. Wasn't married to the oldest childs dad, was to the youngest. Was physically abused by the dad of oldest, divorced the father of youngest due to his infidelity. Was sexually abused by a bf and aquired HSV2. Bio dad abandoned her at age 7 and then stepdad did same at age 12. has no contact with either since. Her mom has been married 4 times. I know everyone has their issues but is this too much to overcome?
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Old 10-13-2010, 08:08 PM
 
47,586 posts, read 35,310,566 times
Reputation: 21573
Why would you want to date her? It does sound like a lot of issues.

Not that you shouldn't but do you see yourself as some knight in shining armor in need of a damsel in distress to rescue?
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Old 10-13-2010, 08:20 PM
 
Location: New Zealand and Australia
7,122 posts, read 6,376,960 times
Reputation: 7229
No.....BUT there is someone for everyone
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Old 10-13-2010, 09:13 PM
 
Location: Hawaii
2,058 posts, read 1,802,130 times
Reputation: 1551
you only described her baggage, none of her good qualities...
why is that?
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Old 10-13-2010, 09:14 PM
 
1,994 posts, read 1,770,872 times
Reputation: 1174
You need to judge her on how she treats YOU, not on her past. Everyone has baggage. EVERYONE.
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Old 10-13-2010, 10:10 PM
 
Location: Somewhere below Mason/Dixon
2,939 posts, read 2,937,045 times
Reputation: 4050
That is a tough one. Certainly lots reasons to think twice, but then again people can change, and they can overcome the past. The fact that she did not marry the father of the oldest child says she may have been irresponsible as a young person, as many people are. That should not be held against her all these years later. Is it her fault she was molested? her fault she was cheated on? Is it her fault that her dad AND step dad abandoned her?? The answer to all of these is NO. Does she need therapy? yes. If this woman has taken steps to stabalize her life like getting professional help then it may be worth the risk. Does she go to church? the Lord can change the life of someone in her shoes. You never know she may have alot to offer.
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Old 10-13-2010, 10:24 PM
 
Location: Wyoming
6,834 posts, read 8,979,730 times
Reputation: 8878
Quote:
Originally Posted by thatsong64 View Post
you only described her baggage, none of her good qualities...
why is that?

Good point. For me (if I was single) it would depend on how her good qualities balance out the bad. You asked whether we'd "date" her. A date is a pretty simple meeting if you want it to be. One date shouldn't hurt you if you keep it in your pants, and then you can go from there.
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Old 10-13-2010, 10:52 PM
 
Location: St. Louis
7,616 posts, read 8,791,438 times
Reputation: 9221
I don't think we can answer that b/c people vary in how they deal with things--some people just seem more. . . evolved. Others fall apart when they see a bug. How do you think she's dealt with it? A good way to tell is by how well adjusted her kids seem to be--if both are a mess, run. Sometimes bad things happen to people b/c of stupid choices they've made and continue to make, and sometimes bad things just happen.
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Old 10-14-2010, 12:09 AM
 
Location: Center of the universe
23,932 posts, read 20,217,273 times
Reputation: 11210
After being married to someone with lots of issues, no, I would run as far away as I could from this woman.
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Old 10-14-2010, 12:10 AM
 
4,838 posts, read 5,113,803 times
Reputation: 2906
Where is TV&SG? His material has been a little thin lately and he needs some help!
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