Welcome to City-Data.com Forum!
U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Relationships
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
View detailed profile (Advanced) or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
 
Old 10-16-2010, 03:33 PM
 
Location: NYC
7,364 posts, read 14,652,769 times
Reputation: 10385

Advertisements

Quote:
Originally Posted by MortimerC View Post
The men YOU date perhaps, but maybe that's because you only see men who "chase" as desirable. Perhaps those men, since they are more prone to pursue women also harbor other antiquated ideas about dating such as feeling emasculated when a woman makes more. It reeks of confirmation bias.
But you are wrong about that... I "chased" my ex-husband.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message

 
Old 10-16-2010, 03:39 PM
 
Location: NYC
7,364 posts, read 14,652,769 times
Reputation: 10385
Quote:
Originally Posted by MattB4 View Post
I would not claim a entirely different social class does not matter for dating. Certainly the thought of paying 200 dollars for a single meal is out of my league. That amount would feed me for a month. I expect very few guys could afford such a thing on any kind of routine basis.

So you have several strikes against you:
You are over 40 competing with good looking successful younger women for a small population of eligible men. You have expensive tastes. You have a low threshold for those you deem beneath your intellectual capabilities. You will not ask out guys.

That does not leave much to work with.

Sad indeed. Many people are just no good. No excuse for it. Must admit I really have no negative thoughts in regards to black women. In fact I had no thoughts one way or another about it. Though after seeing that video I wonder why the younger guys (white or whatever) are not beating down their doors. What a good looking group of women. If thats the Stereotype I should have gone looking.

I just said moments ago that I would have asked out the white guy referenced in the video.

As for the rest, fairly true. Well, my expensive tastes are almost exclusively related to food. (By the by, my example was for a birthday dinner, not a run-of-the-mill tuesday night. I can't afford $200 dinners all the time either.) Other than that I am a sports girl so I'm not into any other pricey things. I wouldn't know what to do with jewelry that cost more that $10.00, for instance.

As for your last paragraph it might be different if people like you spoke out against it, but that never happens. Not that I am blaming you, you have your own life to lead and your own battles to pick. But you can see why the woman in the video might think its a bad idea to stick her neck out and risk being told "I don't date gorillas" when she hears from white men such nasty things, and rarely sees another white man stand up against it.

But really now you are making the thread about me, which isn't the point at all.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 10-16-2010, 04:08 PM
 
221 posts, read 336,240 times
Reputation: 261
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ceece View Post
It totally depends on the goal of the date. If a man wants to win a woman over and prove something to her (whatever he feels is important to prove) in order to marry, the "rules" will be much different than if he just wants a casual hook up. This probably hold true for women as well. The problem for many people is that they don't know this.
This is a false dilemma. Are these the only options when it comes to dating? A man "winning a woman over" and "proving" something? What do I have to prove that she doesn't, what gives any woman the right to put herself above a total stranger, and why would a man assume he is "below" her?
I imagine both partners proving to each other how good they would be withing an equal partnership.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 10-16-2010, 04:08 PM
 
1,561 posts, read 2,201,659 times
Reputation: 2132
Quote:
Originally Posted by OngletNYC View Post

As for your last paragraph it might be different if people like you spoke out against it, but that never happens. Not that I am blaming you, you have your own life to lead and your own battles to pick. But you can see why the woman in the video might think its a bad idea to stick her neck out and risk being told "I don't date gorillas" when she hears from white men such nasty things, and rarely sees another white man stand up against it.
I tell you what. If I ever see such vicious unbecoming behavior I will certainly speak out about it. I have not ran in circles where such exist. So indeed I have not battled it. I find it hard to believe that it is a common occurrence, but I will take your word for it.

Back to the Topic.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 10-16-2010, 04:11 PM
 
Location: Hawaii
2,058 posts, read 3,298,832 times
Reputation: 1576
Quote:
Originally Posted by MattB4 View Post
*deleted*
You sure posted a lot after you said you were "no longer interested in the topic"..
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 10-16-2010, 04:11 PM
 
Location: MO->MI->CA->TX->MA
7,022 posts, read 14,444,118 times
Reputation: 5570
Quote:
Originally Posted by MattB4 View Post
Ah... A light goes on. How do you think a ordinary guy feels about it? Not the exceptional guy that has no insecurities or the manipulator that knows how to push all the right buttons. But just a average shmoe. Oh wait, guys that do not ask must be:
1. Not interested
2. Gay
3. Losers
4. Weird
5. Momma boys
6. Lacking confidence
7. Twits
8. Genetic defects waiting for the forces of evolution to prune from the gene pool.
Why some girls won't approach you:

1) Not interested
2) Fear of rejection
3) Hoping YOU would approach (usually accompanied by eye contact and smiling)
4) Feels weird doing so (due to #2 and/or #3)
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 10-16-2010, 08:10 PM
 
1,561 posts, read 2,201,659 times
Reputation: 2132
Quote:
Originally Posted by thatsong64 View Post
You sure posted a lot after you said you were "no longer interested in the topic"..
So sue me.
I just responded to the off topic subject of Professional black women having a hard time finding a LTR due to insufficient number of eligible males. Since I had never thought about it, the video was very interesting to me. The byplay with Onglet was part and parcel of that.

The part of the Topic I am no longer interested in was about arguing the need to alter some of the "Rules". Ta Ta for now.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 10-16-2010, 09:36 PM
 
9,408 posts, read 11,907,447 times
Reputation: 12439
Just shed all the rules, customs, expectations and other arbitrary hang-ups. They serve no purpose and, in my opinion, only hinder potential relationships. Ditch that traditional crap.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 10-18-2010, 01:50 AM
 
6,547 posts, read 7,265,632 times
Reputation: 3821
Quote:
Originally Posted by OngletNYC View Post
Getting rid of this "rule" looks good on paper but the reality is, if the woman pays the man's way regularly, the man end up feeling emasculated. yeah yeah yeah, not you, you are the guy who is different, so on and so forth.
Saying that a man feels emasculated works on your favor. It's like me saying I wouldn't wash the dishes in my place or do my laundry because I don't want my girl to feel less of a woman so I nicely bring her to my place so she can do those things and feel like a woman. Why can't we both simply contribute to the relationship since date #1? I don't see the necessity of all these rules that in the end focus on women anyways. Rather have everything revolve around BOTH of us in ALL aspects of the relationship (taking the initiative, romancing, contributing to expenses, proposing marriage, engagement ring, etc.).

Quote:
Originally Posted by 11thHour View Post
Just shed all the rules, customs, expectations and other arbitrary hang-ups. They serve no purpose and, in my opinion, only hinder potential relationships. Ditch that traditional crap.
Not sure if women will root for that since dating rules/customs/traditions/etc. benefit them.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 10-18-2010, 06:01 AM
 
Location: The Hall of Justice
25,901 posts, read 42,622,264 times
Reputation: 42767
Quote:
Originally Posted by onihC View Post
As long as dating traditions/rules benefit women, you won't see them trying to go against them.
There are major drawbacks to traditional relationships; they don't just benefit women. For example, waiting for a man to ask you out or propose means you will only be able to choose among those who ask you. A man can ask any woman he has the guts to approach.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


Reply
Please update this thread with any new information or opinions. This open thread is still read by thousands of people, so we encourage all additional points of view.

Quick Reply
Message:

Over $104,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Relationships

All times are GMT -6. The time now is 11:42 PM.

© 2005-2024, Advameg, Inc. · Please obey Forum Rules · Terms of Use and Privacy Policy · Bug Bounty

City-Data.com - Contact Us - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37 - Top