How do you find love if you are culturally "abnormal" (Asians, women)

[mongoslade223]

I am a black man. I find women of all races attractive. I like music (Eric Clapton, Moody Blues, ELO, the Beatles, etc) that I feel is not "normal" for black culture, as well as activities such as camping, rollercoasters etc.

Sometimes I feel almost isolated, almost on a no man's land so to speak

or is it all in my head

[PJSaturn]

Kind of all in your head. But I mean that in a nice way! You are what you are, and there are surely some good women out there would find you a refreshing change from creeps who pretend to be something they are not. So you like traditionally "white" music and other activities. In my area, I frequently see people of color at campgrounds and at concerts which don't feature AA artists. They are the minority in the audience, but they are present. Perhaps you are not as unusual as you think!

Try not to let it worry you. Just put yourself out there and see what happens!

[Doobage]

Rollercoasters are for everyone!
But I get what you're saying. I'm a black woman and the stereotype doesn't make any sense to me. But it's really all in your head, people will find you refreshing because you're not the caricature they see on TV. I have dated men of different races and it was never an issue. Go and find someone who shares your interests, life is too short to pretend to like something just because it's what's acceptable.

[samston]

You are clearly not truly black.

I think black people who say that blacks must do/think/act in xyz way are the true racists of our society.

[yankeegirl313]

Originally Posted by mongoslade223

I am a black man. I find women of all races attractive. I like music (Eric Clapton, Moody Blues, ELO, the Beatles, etc) that I feel is not "normal" for black culture, as well as activities such as camping, rollercoasters etc.

Sometimes I feel almost isolated, almost on a no man's land so to speak

or is it all in my head

So! Find someone who likes camping, rollercoasters, and Eric Clapton! Easy!

[rlrl]

cultural stereotype of my religion/ethnicity either. It IS difficult as you point out but i find people are more interesting like that

My audio collection percentage is slowly creeping up with black artists and I often look at all races of women. I like biking and bowling and love aerial views and geography scenes and i collect die cast car models, not what my ethnic groups normally does

also with respect to music. i love white artists who make "blue eyed soul" like Boz Scaggs, Michael McDonald etc and black artists who make music that sounds like white AM radio pop (like Jeffrey Osborne's On the Wings Of Love and We're Going All the way)

[MontanaGuy]

I don't think that any individual should feel obligated to follow the herd when they're not particularly interested in the typical things that people might associate with their race, upbringing, religion, or any other reason. It's really a shame that many black people are confronted with this situation and I've heard this many times before. If white people or asians don't feel pressured to conform to any particular lifestyle then it obviously doesn't make any sense for anyone else to feel that way either. People are individuals, they're not just a member of a racial group and the most important thing to consider is that individuality is the opposite of conforming. It sounds to me like you're an intelligent guy who wants to make his own choices in life. I see that as a very positive thing. What you're saying makes a lot of sense and I would urge you to do whatever you want to do.

[mongoslade223]

Originally Posted by rlrl

cultural stereotype of my religion/ethnicity either. It IS difficult as you point out but i find people are more interesting like that

My audio collection percentage is slowly creeping up with black artists and I often look at all races of women. I like biking and bowling and love aerial views and geography scenes and i collect die cast car models, not what my ethnic groups normally does

also with respect to music. i love white artists who make "blue eyed soul" like Boz Scaggs, Michael McDonald etc and black artists who make music that sounds like white AM radio pop (like Jeffrey Osborne's On the Wings Of Love and We're Going All the way)

Yeaah Boz Scaggs one of my favs

[samston]

The idea of acting black is the biggest crock of poo ever to grace the face of the Earth. Yes, there are cultural stereotypes, but any black identity or culture is socially created. People talk of this act black crap like it's inherent behaviour. I'm not a geneticist or a physical anthropologist, but I know of no evidence that behaviour is linked to racial type. There is no "black liking rap" gene, or "white liking rock". I think what happened is that over time, because there were and still are cultural differences between the races, some behaviours/attitudes became ingrained over time, and near "inherent".

My honest opinion is that this idea stems from reverse racism (yeah, if somebody despises you, you despise them, how intelligent...as Gandhi said "an eye for an eye and the world goes blind"), and a need or desire to differentiate "us and them". People need to get over slavery. It's not my intention to sound rude, but I think a collective lamenting/chip on one's shoulder of the past is something that needs to be overcome. This acting black bull**** stems, in my mind, from that psychology.

[mongoslade223]

Originally Posted by PJ8

Kind of all in your head. But I mean that in a nice way! You are what you are, and there are surely some good women out there would find you a refreshing change from creeps who pretend to be something they are not. So you like traditionally "white" music and other activities. In my area, I frequently see people of color at campgrounds and at concerts which don't feature AA artists. They are the minority in the audience, but they are present. Perhaps you are not as unusual as you think!

Try not to let it worry you. Just put yourself out there and see what happens!

Thank you Maybe I'm just looking for validation