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Old 10-19-2010, 07:41 PM
 
41 posts, read 58,914 times
Reputation: 34

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My boyfriend and I have been together for more than 1 year now. He tells me he loves me and is very serious with me, but never wants to talk about marriage. Today he posted some pictures online, and I simply made some comments such as "I like your hair", "nice picture honey". He took them off and asked me never to do it again because they were "intimate languages" that nobody else should see. He never posts any pictures of us together. If he does, it's only private between me and him.

Is he hiding about our relationship or am I over-reacting? I kinda feel he doesn't want anyone to know about my existence.
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Old 10-19-2010, 07:43 PM
 
5,148 posts, read 4,930,169 times
Reputation: 2865
LOL x 1000

Al Gore never had this in mind...when he invented the internet, that one cold, lonely evening.

This can't be real...it's just too Jersey Shore.

Last edited by JSizzle225; 10-19-2010 at 07:52 PM..
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Old 10-19-2010, 07:44 PM
 
3,948 posts, read 4,005,669 times
Reputation: 1275
Some people just don't like that stuff. That's all it is. It's being openly romantic or teasing and some people just don't like to share that in the open. It takes some time for some people to get comfortable doing that. Most important thing is to realize that he did say he doesn't like it. You all might just have different styles of romance and needs, so if this is gonna be a problem (him not letting you express your attraction in the way you feel) then you might have to think about that.

But, I wouldn't worry about it too much.
It IS the internet and a computer, if he makes you feel good in other ways and he said this to you in a respectful way, then I wouldn't think too much of it. There might be someone on there that he doesn't want seeing it. If he is a professional and has colleagues on there, that could be a reason. Or, there could be someone else that he doesn't want seeing it.
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Old 10-19-2010, 07:46 PM
 
Location: Astoria, NY
3,052 posts, read 3,988,917 times
Reputation: 2475
Quote:
Originally Posted by Traveller1985 View Post
Is he hiding about our relationship or am I over-reacting? I kinda feel he doesn't want anyone to know about my existence.
If you feel that way, it's probably true.

I would guess it's true too. You've been with this guy for a year and you can't comment on liking his hair on his page lest other people even think you two may be intimate. Oh, the horror.

You need to dump this guy a.s.a.p. You can only guess why he wants to keep your relationship a secret, and none of them can be good.
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Old 10-19-2010, 07:48 PM
 
Location: Astoria, NY
3,052 posts, read 3,988,917 times
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Is he in general a really private person?
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Old 10-19-2010, 07:51 PM
 
Location: NYC
7,366 posts, read 13,835,286 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Traveller1985 View Post
My boyfriend and I have been together for more than 1 year now. He tells me he loves me and is very serious with me, but never wants to talk about marriage. Today he posted some pictures online, and I simply made some comments such as "I like your hair", "nice picture honey". He took them off and asked me never to do it again because they were "intimate languages" that nobody else should see. He never posts any pictures of us together. If he does, it's only private between me and him.

Is he hiding about our relationship or am I over-reacting? I kinda feel he doesn't want anyone to know about my existence.
Eh, I can see his point. I don't like any of those public website displays either, it stinks of being an attention ho to me. And then if/when you break up there has to be an announcement about that... I would have deleted your remarks too.

I think you should give him the benefit of the doubt here. You sound very young, better to not get into the habit of dramatic over reaction based on personal insecurities. You don't want to find yourself still doing this in 10-20 years; I have seen women like that and it isn't cute anymore!
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Old 10-19-2010, 07:55 PM
 
Location: Tucson
42,835 posts, read 83,674,931 times
Reputation: 22814
Quote:
Originally Posted by Traveller1985 View Post
Is he hiding about our relationship or am I over-reacting? I kinda feel he doesn't want anyone to know about my existence.
Nope, you're not overreacting. I'd scrap him.
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Old 10-19-2010, 07:58 PM
 
Location: Astoria, NY
3,052 posts, read 3,988,917 times
Reputation: 2475
What's intimate about "I like your hair"??? Girls have written that on my photo comments! I hope people don't think I'm getting down with all those chicks because there are at least three that commented something in that vein on my photos, and I only made out with one!
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Old 10-19-2010, 08:07 PM
 
Location: Hawaii
1,589 posts, read 2,521,749 times
Reputation: 2154
Have you met his friends and family in real life? Does he include you in his social life and introduce you as his girlfriend? If he doesn't, I would be suspicious that he wants to maintain an appearance of being single. After a year of dating I would expect to be a part of his life and other people would know it.

Guard your heart.
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Old 10-19-2010, 08:19 PM
 
41 posts, read 58,914 times
Reputation: 34
Quote:
Originally Posted by boodhabunny View Post
Have you met his friends and family in real life? Does he include you in his social life and introduce you as his girlfriend? If he doesn't, I would be suspicious that he wants to maintain an appearance of being single. After a year of dating I would expect to be a part of his life and other people would know it.

Guard your heart.
I met them before - we broke up once and after we got back together, he just hangs out with his friends by himself. He usually leaves me at home when he sees his friends, I've only seen maybe 2 of his friends for the past 6 months. He said that's because I only want to talk about my "lawyer ****" and nothing else, so he doesn't feel comfortable bring me anymore.
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