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Old 05-02-2012, 12:24 AM
 
Location: New Jersey
8,738 posts, read 9,651,520 times
Reputation: 7513

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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ruth4Truth View Post
Nobody cares. Just get on with your life.

And for those who think people will care, it's none of anyone's business. Lots of guys go through HS and college without having a relationship or sex. It's not as unusual as people think for guys to be virgins into their mid-20's. Some guys are shy. Some just don't find the right girl. Everyone moves to the beat of their own drummer. Who cares what anyone else has done, or what they think?

Like I said sounds nice on paper to have faith that people behave this way. Too bad they don't. I'm not talking about what people will or might do, I'm talking about how they actually react since I've seen this from personal experience. Of course it's nobody's business just walking down the street, but when you start to get involved even very mildly with a person, it's ridiculous to believe these things don't come up.
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Old 05-02-2012, 12:31 AM
 
Location: State of Transition
73,504 posts, read 65,198,218 times
Reputation: 69769
Hi, Doll Eyes, love your posts, but I disagree here.

A guy with no experience isn't going to be that different from a guy with some experience. Every woman is different, every guy needs training in what works for any given woman. And then there are the guys who never bother to see to it that the women they're with have their turn at pleasure, those guys can go through a whole lifetime without ever figuring out what they're supposed to be doing.

So I don't see that our OP will be at a particular disadvantage when his time comes. The main thing to remember, OP, is to ask her what she likes. Let her tell you/show you. You can be honest at that point, and say you're new at whatever she's asking you to do. It won't be a big deal. If she cares about you, it won't be a big deal. Just make sure you get to know her well enough before getting physical, that you know you can trust her not to be a jerk.
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Old 05-02-2012, 12:37 AM
 
Location: New Jersey
8,738 posts, read 9,651,520 times
Reputation: 7513
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ruth4Truth View Post
Hi, Doll Eyes, love your posts, but I disagree here.

A guy with no experience isn't going to be that different from a guy with some experience. Every woman is different, every guy needs training in what works for any given woman. And then there are the guys who never bother to see to it that the women they're with have their turn at pleasure, those guys can go through a whole lifetime without ever figuring out what they're supposed to be doing.

So I don't see that our OP will be at a particular disadvantage when his time comes. The main thing to remember, OP, is to ask her what she likes. Let her tell you/show you. You can be honest at that point, and say you're new at whatever she's asking you to do. It won't be a big deal. If she cares about you, it won't be a big deal. Just make sure you get to know her well enough before getting physical, that you know you can trust her not to be a jerk.
hello. I am not saying guys with experience are any different then guys without -- I'm saying to pretend or assume "nobody cares" about "virgins after a certain age or whatever" is incorrect. People absolutely care and will draw all kinds of conclusions as to why this might be. I am saying this from personal experience not what I think might happen or what somebody told me. Obviously you're free to beleive what you want, just saying I know differently.
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Old 05-02-2012, 12:40 AM
 
Location: State of Transition
73,504 posts, read 65,198,218 times
Reputation: 69769
ok, personal experience. So, how would anyone know, except our OP's intended, when it comes down to the moment of truth? If he tells her in advance of the Big Moment, you're saying some women wouldn't react well to that?

Such a sad world. :' (
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Old 05-02-2012, 12:51 AM
 
Location: New Jersey
8,738 posts, read 9,651,520 times
Reputation: 7513
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ruth4Truth View Post
ok, personal experience. So, how would anyone know, except our OP's intended, when it comes down to the moment of truth? If he tells her in advance of the Big Moment, you're saying some women wouldn't react well to that?

Such a sad world. :' (

I think the OP is 36, male right? If so I'm younger then him and had nothing but negative reactions/experiences on this matter -- and I'm a woman. So men don't react well to it and neither do women. There was a thread on here awhile back about would you date someone with no experience or something to that effect and the majority said no. But it's funny how now it's suddenly "no big deal!" LOL. Yes, I beleive the OP is going to get rejected by women for this reason. Also, the older you get, the worse it gets because people 'expect' you have some kind of dating/sexual history, it is looked at as a given, when it's not there, yes, they mark you as some kind of freak of nature. I don't care to sugarcoat these things for him. I see people rejecting others for seemingly insignificant things so anyone that thinks this is going to fly with the majority of adult women (and/or men) is either sugarcoating or simply really beleive it's not a factor b/c they've never been in that situation to actually test it out.

Not sure what mean by how would a person know? Again, not talking about strangers on the street, but someone this OP is actively involved with, when you have zero relationship history, yea, that's going to come up.
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Old 05-02-2012, 09:58 AM
 
188 posts, read 255,430 times
Reputation: 229
There is no cutoff point because as long as you are alive you can always try to get sex, even if you don't succeed.

The only cutoff point is when you are already dead but then sex or anything else for that matter is no longer relevant.

Last edited by Mr. Freak; 05-02-2012 at 10:11 AM..
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Old 05-02-2012, 12:57 PM
 
Location: Geauga County, Ohio
1,459 posts, read 1,456,102 times
Reputation: 1373
The "cutoff" for virginity is sex or death. I'm not sure what you mean.
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Old 05-02-2012, 01:35 PM
 
Location: Nantahala National Forest, NC
19,022 posts, read 3,914,919 times
Reputation: 24199
Who cares?
Why think only in black or white??

Most of life's issues are gray...


Quote:
Originally Posted by angerinthenation View Post
?????
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Old 05-02-2012, 02:58 PM
 
6,988 posts, read 10,953,039 times
Reputation: 7528
Quote:
Originally Posted by angerinthenation View Post
?????
Age 18.

At that point, you walk into the cornfields and let 'He Who Walks Behind the Rows' take you...
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Old 05-03-2012, 04:09 AM
 
842 posts, read 1,058,598 times
Reputation: 705
Quote:
Originally Posted by Doll Eyes View Post
Like I said sounds nice on paper to have faith that people behave this way. Too bad they don't. I'm not talking about what people will or might do, I'm talking about how they actually react since I've seen this from personal experience. Of course it's nobody's business just walking down the street, but when you start to get involved even very mildly with a person, it's ridiculous to believe these things don't come up.
Being a virgin at 35, I must agree with you. It's never 'nobody's business' but in the end everyone is judgemental in one way or another.

Not that I have much to complain about because I don't go around sharing my personal life with people but I can still remember how my best friend reacted when I told him I was a virgin. He tried to remain serious and make it look like it was normal but you could see in his face what he really thought about it.
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