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Old 10-22-2010, 04:59 PM
 
Location: Denver
6,628 posts, read 12,130,849 times
Reputation: 4051

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Yea that's true...but it doesn't sound like this fellow is a virgin for spiritual reasons haha
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Old 10-22-2010, 07:13 PM
 
Location: San Francisco
15,830 posts, read 4,947,659 times
Reputation: 48124
I'd like to chime in here from a woman's point of view. Assuming that the OP is talking about himself and not an imaginary 36-year-old male virgin, I have a feeling that he needs a major attitude adjustment. His statements give the impression that he sees himself as a victim because he is not getting what he is entitled to. As several others have pointed out, this attitude comes across as self-pitying and hostile and pretty much guarantees that he won't have any success finding a sexual partner.

Let me ask the OP a question: Do you genuinely like women? I get the impression that you may fear or distrust the opposite sex. Did you have a good relationship with your mother and sisters, if you had any? If not, why? Have you ever had any female friends? If not, why? You don't have to tell your life story here, but these are questions that you should ask yourself and pay close attention to the answers.

Perhaps there is some issue in your past that is getting in the way of your having warm, affectionate relationships with women. If so, it would be good to address this issue, perhaps with a professional counselor or psychologist, so that you can understand what is holding you back.

If you approach every relationship with a potential girlfriend thinking, "Am I finally going to get laid?" or, "Is she going to laugh at me when she finds out I'm a virgin?", you are setting yourself up for failure. Instead you should erase those messages from your mind and tell yourself instead, "I will stop dwelling on my lack of experience and concentrate instead on getting to know this person." When you are asked about past relationships, you don't have to lie, but you don't have to tell the whole truth, either. Just say that you haven't been serious about anyone yet. That's an honest answer, and that's all your date needs to know.

When you and your date have gotten to know each other well enough so that intimacy is the next step, then and only then you should tell her the whole truth. A woman who is worth having will not reject you. Instead, she may be flattered to be your first. On the other hand, if you spill the beans on your first or second date, a woman is likely to see you as needy or desperate.

My first boyfriend is still a virgin at 62 for religious reasons and because he has a medical condition that makes it difficult for him to be in a relationship. I don't look down on him; I'm just sad that he hasn't experienced what it's like to make love to a woman. If I were single and if he were willing, I'd be happy to be his first because I truly care for him. When you find a woman who truly cares for you, your past (or lack of one) won't matter.

I should warn you that you might find yourself saying, when you do have sex for the first time, "Oh, is that what it is? What's the big deal?" Things that seem forbidden or impossible always seem so alluring that the reality can be a letdown.

Last edited by Bayarea4; 10-22-2010 at 07:48 PM.. Reason: Spelling
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Old 10-22-2010, 07:49 PM
 
593 posts, read 1,398,596 times
Reputation: 319
^ LOL! My mom and me are close and yeah, I have some issues with certain females that have come and gone in my life. I've dealt with female bullies as a kid that did some f'ed up things to me and I'm still heated about that to this day. But other than that, you guys are overdoing it. If I'm angry towards women, it's more of my frustration with myself for not getting any. I'm not a crazy psycho mysognist that hates women. You people are bugging out because I know that being a virgin will get ridiculed. Where do you people live and who do you associate with? You guys are obviously out of touch with what people's attitudes are today towards things.
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Old 10-22-2010, 08:37 PM
 
Location: Tennessee
16,227 posts, read 22,008,926 times
Reputation: 23996
I seriously didn`t realize that there was a cut off point for a man or woman to be a virgin? news to me.....
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Old 10-22-2010, 08:52 PM
 
Location: The Pizzle, FLorida and Poconos in Pa
362 posts, read 281,670 times
Reputation: 235
Quote:
Originally Posted by angerinthenation View Post
?????
60 seconds after they lose their cherry.
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Old 10-22-2010, 09:44 PM
 
1,561 posts, read 1,854,226 times
Reputation: 2127
Quote:
Originally Posted by angerinthenation View Post
^ LOL! My mom and me are close and yeah, I have some issues with certain females that have come and gone in my life. I've dealt with female bullies as a kid that did some f'ed up things to me and I'm still heated about that to this day. But other than that, you guys are overdoing it. If I'm angry towards women, it's more of my frustration with myself for not getting any. I'm not a crazy psycho mysognist that hates women. You people are bugging out because I know that being a virgin will get ridiculed. Where do you people live and who do you associate with? You guys are obviously out of touch with what people's attitudes are today towards things.
This thread still open?
OK AIN.
You have received a range of responses to your question. Obviously you are a young guy from your post about high school and this one about your mother. If your point was to prove something about how you view other people and their responses to your being a virgin you simply need to read all the posts with a open mind.

But I expect you are not interested in anything that does not confirm your ideas. Know this, nature (without a capital "N") does not care whether you have sex or not. Nature has no views about anything. There is no rights in nature. What you get you get from effort.

If this makes you unhappy, well so be it. You have no right to being happy. All you have is the right to pursue it.
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Old 10-22-2010, 10:17 PM
 
Location: St Thomas, US Virgin Islands
24,671 posts, read 55,693,671 times
Reputation: 26432
Quote:
Originally Posted by angerinthenation View Post
You people are bugging out because I know that being a virgin will get ridiculed. Where do you people live and who do you associate with? You guys are obviously out of touch with what people's attitudes are today towards things.
Despite your belligerent attitude towards those who have answered you and have disagreed with your entitlement stance, those who have suggested your problems are within yourself and those who have offered various solutions to your dilemma, I'll answer the questions you've posed.

I live, as is clear, in a US territory which is a veritable melting pot of cultures and nationalities. The people with whom I associate encompass a multitude of diversity. Young, old, straight, gay, a varied hue of colors, and a really creative mix of religious affiliations - all on an everyday basis. To suggest that I'm in any way out of touch with what people's attitudes are today is truly insulting but I'll let that one go as I consider the source of the comment.

You are one very bitter young man with what I deem a very skewed view where sex and relationships are concerned. You railed at my suggestion that you get the angst over and done with by paying for sex and, judging from your reaction, immediately envisioned a roadside hooker.

But you had said, "At this point in my life, I wouldn't mind having a wham, bam thank you ma'am cause I'm not looking to have a relationship run my life. I just want sex."

The point which I admit I failed to make was that not every prostitute is a sleazy roadside hooker. I mistakenly thought that at your age you might know this. Mea culpa. Many prostitutes specialize in solving dilemmas such as yours and many are known as "sexual surrogates". Finding the right one is like finding a good therapist or a good lawyer but they're out there. If you can get over yourself and your barriers you might find a really bright light at the end of the tunnel. Good luck and bon chance!
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Old 10-22-2010, 10:17 PM
 
Location: grooving in the city
7,371 posts, read 5,687,713 times
Reputation: 23506
Quote:
Originally Posted by angerinthenation View Post
^ LOL! My mom and me are close and yeah, I have some issues with certain females that have come and gone in my life. I've dealt with female bullies as a kid that did some f'ed up things to me and I'm still heated about that to this day. But other than that, you guys are overdoing it. If I'm angry towards women, it's more of my frustration with myself for not getting any. I'm not a crazy psycho mysognist that hates women. You people are bugging out because I know that being a virgin will get ridiculed. Where do you people live and who do you associate with? You guys are obviously out of touch with what people's attitudes are today towards things.
So you are dealing with anger from things that happened to you as a kid--get help. No one has an entitlement to sex. I don't think a virgin is ridiculed for being a virgin, one has the option to tell or not to tell.

The most important thing here is that all you care about is getting scr****, and not about the feelings of the other person involved. That to me says alot about your character.

You have been given very good advice by many of the posters on this thread. People who genuinely care about other people have taken their time to write some very thoughtful, honest and helpful suggestions to you. If you are not getting any, take a long hard look in the mirror and decide to make some positive changes in your life.
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Old 10-22-2010, 11:27 PM
 
Location: St Thomas, US Virgin Islands
24,671 posts, read 55,693,671 times
Reputation: 26432
Well said, Taigagirl! I done and off to bed. No doubt the OP likewise has his sleep time. Hopefully and maybe perhaps he'll re-read what's been said and, rather than spending so much time and energy ridiculing those who disagree with him, he'll take a step back and take a road which will lead him to some sort of solution. Even an epihany. Who knows!
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Old 10-23-2010, 12:39 AM
 
593 posts, read 1,398,596 times
Reputation: 319
You people THINK you understand, but you DON'T. You're not in the situation to even relate on this so how is your advice any use to me? For real, if there's anybody that doesn't get it, it's you people. My whole thread is misunderstood by a bunch of people fronting like they don't make fun of people that aren't doing what they're doing. I'm living in the world. I am NOT you. You people are in out of space. Seems like I'm the only honest person in this thread where everybody's trying to act like a therapist when they aren't. I even got this MattB4 guy talking about threads I never made. Thanks for nothing. You are either not my age or clueless towards society.
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