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New Report,
I have been continuing life as usual, still have the ex girlfriend on my mind constantly, but don't let her know about it. We occasionally exchange text msg's and talk on rare occasion.. One day last week she wanted to know how this new job I got is going and I let her know a few details and talked about some other things. I also mentioned that I am planning a family get together for my mom's day this Thursday,(Nov. 18, the day my mom passed away two years ago), and am trying to figure out whether to have it at the house or at a local restaurant. I mentioned I prefer to have it at home but don't know quite what to make yet and don't know who is all coming and that I was working on figuring all of this out. She says to me, "Well, I can make something and help you with it." I was a little taken back by this as I never invited her but thought it was nice she offered and just accepted it as that and didn't say much otherwise.
So, today I sent her a text message asking her if she got this CD I made for her and sent to her address last Friday and asked if she thought about what she is making for Thursday. She quickly replied, "yes, I like my new CD! Thanks!" Then we exchanged about 15 more messages and one of the last ones was, "maybe i will stay over...what do you think? then i can drink." I replied with, that's fine... then she said, "maybe i will, i will wait and see how the night goes. otherwise i can just go by my brothers for the night and go home in the AM." AND I of course replied, " whatever you want to do is OK."
That is how I left it for now. Of course I am excited to see her and hope she has something good to say, but I will play it cool and act like I don't care either way. I just found it odd she wanted to be a part of a family gathering, even though I know she loved my mom a lot, you would think she would want to distance herself from my family as we are broken up. I am confused and excited to see her at the same time, but feel like I will be let down in the end.
Well don't get excited... Saturday my ex wife emailed me to congratulate me on getting on the fire department (old news.)
Today she emailed me about a court case and the suspects change of plea. I wrote back a theory of what will likely happen. Then I said I hope it doesn't go to trial, I wrote back that I hope to get that over and done with and get all those players out of my life.
Your chances of getting back with this girl sound pretty good considering she's willing to come to family functions.....but that could all change if you don't act on all the ideas and proposals you seem to come up with. Thinking and doing are two different things..
Oh brother I quit reading after you said she said this:.......don't make her feel like the special person she is to me.
She is immature and acting like the typical woman. You shouldn't be with a man because he makes her feel special. At least that's not a long term reason to be with a man. Yes we all want to feel special and loved and all that crap. But if it takes a man or another person to make her feel special your relationship is going to be unhealthy from the get go. Women are like that. Their identities rely on how other people especially men "make them feel".
I agree with you when you say it is unhealthy if it takes a man or another person to make her feel special, but you're way way off when you say that she is acting like a typical woman... Many women are not immature, but it sounds like you have yet to meet one.
Update....It's just under two months since our break up. I have still been seeing her on occasion. She will come over once every other week or so and spend the night , and have a great time(as we usually do when we are together). Usually dinner, movie, bottle of wine, bedtime fun, breakfast in the morning and usually something else until she leaves in the afternoon. Things seemed to be getting better and on the right track of where I would like to see them until last evening.
I had invited her to a dinner event last night and prior to that I stopped over by her apt. to shower and clean up for this event. I wanted to spend the night at her place, but only if she asked. I sort of hinted around at the idea, and she wasn't having it. She was irritated with me that I wanted to spend the night, as we "shouldn't be doing this," it just makes it harder for us. So that set me off a bit because when she wants to come over its ok, but when I would like to spend the night its not an option.
Then she said a few of her friends made her feel bad for leading me on and We had a lengthy conversation on our break up to this point, and many issues pertaining to it. She said she hasn't been on a date with anyone, she just occasionally hangs out with guys from work and a few other guy friends she has, but never as a date. She said she doesn't want anyone else but me and that she feels she's not ready to get back together as it hasn't been enough time for her to see what she needs to see and feel what she needs to feel. She still wants to talk and text occasionally as she likes to hear from me and see how I am doing. She said she never stopped loving me and cares about me a lot. She still wanted to go with me to this dinner. So we went shopping for an hour or two, then to this dinner event.
We enjoyed a glass of wine at the bar after dinner and talked about life how we imagine it in the future, goals, aspirations, etc. I took her home and she gave me a couple nice kisses on the lips and said goodbye. Today she called a couple times to tell me about her new classes for next semester and a few other minimal things, like what she did today. For me this makes it harder because I love her so much and when I get to see her and hear from her it makes me feel so good, however, to know she doesn't want to get back together yet, makes it so bad for me. It is very difficult for me.
Going forward, I feel I shouldn't be contacting her at all even though she wants me to and Im sure she will be doing so occasionally. I probably shouldn't be seeing her either, as that makes it crazy difficult when she leaves to go home. I really want to get back together with this girl, she is the "one" I want for the rest of my life ! Consequently, I have another girl that asked me out for drinks and dinner this week.. While she is beautiful and quite the nice person, I am clearly not over my ex girlfriend and clearly don't feel like starting a new relationship. I don't know what to do, I am just irritated my ex feels that she hasn't had enough time being broken up. Could someone please give me GOOD advice in this situation. I really do appreciate it... Thank you in advance !!
Go out with the other girl that asked you out for drinks and dinner. To me, your ex is playing games and you need time away so you can see there are other girls that will treat you better.
Update... New girl I went out with, well, I just wasn't feeling it, still feel too strongly for the ex girlfriend. I told the new girl this and just said that right now is not the best time for me to begin a new relationship and that I do enjoy her company but feel it isn't fair to her. She said she appreciated my honesty, and I haven't talked with her since.
The ex girlfriend has come to the house to pick up all of her remaining things and has made it known that she has been out with someone else and is happy. She did say the night ended in a kiss, not that I wanted to know ! Anyways, she claims she is happy, and she was surprised this guy asked her out. He is a doctor that works at the hospital she works at. I told her I am happy for her if she is happy.. she seemed to be surprised with this answer, but I left it at that.. of course that is not how I really feel, but at this point I have come to view it as her loss, and that makes me feel better about it. I also told her a little about the girl I was out with and how the situation ended, and why it ended that way, because I am not ready to move on at this point.
I feel that I have done all I can do and the ball is in her court if she feels she wants to give it another try someday. Even though I don't contact her at all, she sends a text every once in a while and I do reply, but briefly. She did text me on Christmas wishing me a merry Christmas and hoped I had a nice day; I called to wish the same and she answered and wanted to talk for a bit, so we did.
The past two months we have been broken up I have learned things about her and myself that would not have been possible to learn had we not broken up. I still love her very much, and want her back sooner than later, but I feel if we did get back together, our relationship would be much stronger and even better than it was before. I know it is not for me to decide at this point, so I will give her the space she needs and the time she wants.. but will not wait forever, of course. She did mention this new man in her life is leaving in March to pursue a job across the country, and that she is enjoying being single and for the first time in her life feels that she knows what she wants. She said she has no intention of getting into a relationship, she is just enjoying being single at the moment and needs to focus on her clinicals this next semester. Time will tell, as usual any input is greatly appreciated !
Yo Dude......Shes giving the all night lovin to her new man and that ant you. You can cry, you can dance, you can walk on water like JESUS but in the end the new guy is IN and you are OUT........Move on and stop crying ...
Just wanted to add... When the doc dumps her, she may come running back to you. As I see it, you are too good for her. Find yourself someone who is loyal.
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