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Old 10-24-2010, 12:02 AM
 
41 posts, read 31,696 times
Reputation: 34
Question Living in the boyfriend's house "for free"?

So, besides other problems we've been having: My boyfriend is now overseas and let me stay in his house for free. Well, it's not really free because the house is in a bad condition, requiring lots of repair and painting job.My job is very demanding and the work place is far from his house, so it's not easy for me to make the money. But ever seen I moved in last month, I spent all my weekends repairing the house and had no time to relax or do anything. Besides that, substantial amount of expenses incurred because of his dog --who destroyed lots of things inside and outside of the house. Everyday when I come home it's already 9pm, but I have to clean the mess made by the dog. Today my boyfriend just told me that I have to pay another $100 for painting one bedroom because I'm staying here "for free". I asked him if he's taking the work I've done for granted - he said "I've worked on my house too, why don't you appreciate that?" I tried to explain that's his property and I'm not going to profit anything from his house, although I'm spending my money on it.

I got really upset because I thought I was helping him by taking care of his house, now it seems like he think I'm supposed to contribute money and service as a payment of rent.

I'm thinking about moving out and not dealing with his house/dog anymore. But I know we would break up if I move out. I just have a lot going on lately and I don't even know if I'm having a wrong perspective.

Should I just stay in his house and keep spending money on it? Or just leave the house and him - I know the second I move out, we'll no longer be together.

 
Old 10-24-2010, 12:25 AM
 
Location: suffolk,england
34 posts, read 37,027 times
Reputation: 16
dont try to do too much- just paint 1 wall at a time. gradually it will take shape
 
Old 10-24-2010, 12:30 AM
 
Location: Southern California
3,197 posts, read 4,395,574 times
Reputation: 4099
I suppose he figures $100 for some paint & whatever your labor is worth is probably cheaper than rent for you. Although, you are technically also dog-sitting & house-sitting for him. Is this mostly a favor, or do you need to save money on rent?

You seem quick to the option of breaking up also. Are there other reasons?
 
Old 10-24-2010, 12:57 AM
 
5,548 posts, read 4,606,313 times
Reputation: 2657
No dear,

You should move.
 
Old 10-24-2010, 06:33 AM
 
4,892 posts, read 11,709,825 times
Reputation: 3608
ok well if you are ready to break up with him, then stop doing ay work on his house and move out. but if you are having a relationship and want to stay together, then keep living there.

did he mention to you before you moved in that he wanted you to fix the house? also what makes you feel you need to do any repairs??
if you are dog and house sitting, then that is the extent of your "job" while he was away. i get the feeling you just want the house fixed. i understand wanting not not live in squalar, but what kind of repais are we talking about here? if its just paint, then just live with whatever colors are on the walls. if the roof is leaking or plumbing is not working, have a professional do it, and then send your BF the bill---his house, he should pay.
 
Old 10-24-2010, 06:44 AM
 
Location: Wu Dang Mountain
12,890 posts, read 12,290,765 times
Reputation: 8402
From a personal perspective, I would never have the gall to charge my "girlfriend" for staying in my house under the guise of contributing to repairs - she would become either my tenant or my handyman. Nor would I ask her to clean up after a dirty dog.

I think it all depends on how much you want to stay together with him. If you do, then try to work out a compromise. If not, high-tail it out of there.
 
Old 10-24-2010, 07:17 AM
 
Location: Ohio
751 posts, read 874,570 times
Reputation: 592
First of all was there an argreement that you'd fix up the house?
2nd when you're not home invest in a cage for the dog.
 
Old 10-24-2010, 07:30 AM
 
Location: maryland
3,967 posts, read 3,135,185 times
Reputation: 1645
Quote:
Originally Posted by SifuPhil View Post
From a personal perspective, I would never have the gall to charge my "girlfriend" for staying in my house under the guise of contributing to repairs - she would become either my tenant or my handyman. Nor would I ask her to clean up after a dirty dog.

I think it all depends on how much you want to stay together with him. If you do, then try to work out a compromise. If not, high-tail it out of there.

I agree,i wouldn't even charges friends and would esp appreciate it if they did work around the house for me.
 
Old 10-24-2010, 07:35 AM
 
Location: Wherever women are
19,023 posts, read 13,491,569 times
Reputation: 11309
Quote:
Originally Posted by SifuPhil View Post
From a personal perspective, I would never have the gall to charge my "girlfriend" for staying in my house under the guise of contributing to repairs - she would become either my tenant or my handyman. Nor would I ask her to clean up after a dirty dog.
Touché, Sifu, you're the man

That guy is a calculating idiot
 
Old 10-24-2010, 07:41 AM
 
Location: The Plains
5,893 posts, read 4,891,513 times
Reputation: 4124
Tell him you will be happy to "manage" the repair and up keep of his home. You can arrange for painters , repair men, etc,. to come a go, be sure they get paid ( with his money) and make sure the work is done right. As far as the dog is concerned you on the hook . You moved in with a guy with a pet and cleaning up after the dog makes your life better.
IMO what he is expecting you to do is to assume the role of a wife and home owner with out the advantages.
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