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Sorry to hear you're in such a rut, but although it's hard, if I were you, I'd perhaps try to put less focus on cultivating an active social life and more on working on the essentials: getting a job (or at least scouting for one) and saving up money from internships/side jobs. I don't know how much of getting a work permit is just a waiting game for you now, but prepare yourself for entering the job market by researching what you're interested in and emailing potential employers about opportunities. If neither of these internships are paid, consider getting a paid job on the side, but either way, save up so that hopefully moving out of the house will come sooner.
Believe me, you're not alone in this post-college rut, lots of graduates are encountering what you're going through, I was in a similar situation until recently. Just keep your head down and focus on getting the essentials in order. The uncertainty will diminish with time and work.
I am a twenty-four year old recent college grad trying to build a new life in northern va/d.c area. i'm having a reallly tough time making new friends and meeting people. Everyone has suggested that I get involved in the community through volunteering and other activities. Thing is, I'm not sure where to start...do you guys have any suggestions for some great organizations that tend to attract a good pool of people and give ample opportunity to socialize and mingle? Organizations and activities that attract smart young guys specifically lol.
Thanks so much!
Go to places where you practice your favorite passtime or sport. You'll make friends eventually.
Do you drink? Do you run? Try the Hash House Harriers.
There are several groups in DC.
They're a drinking group with a running problem. Loads of fun and great for networking.
I completely empathize with the situation. It's hard having to:
a) live at home
b) not be around anyone your age in your area
c) look at everyone else having fun
Arlington is pretty close to anywhere in northern VA. Find a few Meetup.com groups in Arlington for younger people and then make plans to get happy hour in Ballston or Clarendon. Those aren't too far from the rest of NOVA.
Go on an online dating website too. The guys always pay after a date.
so, for some reason, as an attractive 24 for year old a year out of college, i have wound up in a situation where i have no friends. in fact, i never really had friends- at least, i have not during the past 8 years that i have lived in the U.S.
i spent the two years of high school i attended here as a phantom. nobody knew me- i didnt know anyone. i spent lunch time at the library or in the school bathrooms. i made like 2 friends but both were socially awkward and weird and not the kind of people i wanted to hang out with. those i wanted to hang out with, i felt i wasn't good enough to approach. so i kept myself away and ended up in a self defeated prophecy where i was a loner. my lack of a social life affected my grades- almost flunked out because i was so depressed. studying was farr farr from my mind. all i wanted was friends and to fit in and belong.
after graduating i promptly enrolled in community college.i was more depressed than ever because i wanted the traditional four year college experience but i messed up my one shot to do it by screwing up high school. also, the ghetto-street smart crowd was so foreign and alien to me. i was hesitant to make friends and simply didn't even know how to make friends. 2 years later i graduated with like 2 friends and without having experienced anything kids my age did.
i transferred to a four year university after, and things didn't improve much at all. i had by this point missed out on the two years worth of heavy socializing experience everyone else on the campus had participated in. to make matters worse, my housing situation didn't help even though i had opted to live in a dorm just to meet more people. i chose to live in university owned apts for upperclassmen where i thought id be forced to mingle and socialize with others. turned out people who lived in university apt were either socially inept or wanted to live with their friends. i ended up living with a wild party girl who was never around and a awkward hermit who never left her room. i was new on campus, stuck in an apartment with two strange girls who hindered rather than helped my socializing. i didn't know anyone and i didnt know how to get to know people. my social ineptness was definitely pronounced now and i was scared of making a fool of myself; i withdrew myself into my room and spent hours on the computer.
next year things got a bit better- i hung out with my new roommate and her friends but she was always awkward about me not having any friends in college even though i was there a year before. this year was definitely better than my last 3 years of college but i didnt have time to seriously bond with people and it went by in a blur.
so here i am 4 years after college- which is supposed to be the easiest time to socialize-without friends or any romantic relationships. i constantly beat myself up over my social ineptness and how i missed the amazing social opportunities presented to me during that time. i am hurting with tons of regret and am so depressed over it i can't get out of bed some days.
please help. how can i start to FINALLY build a social life for myself? i dont want to miss out on life anymore. i want friends and love and to belong to a community . i will suffocate and wither away if i keep going on like this...
I took a tour back through your posting history. You have several threads wherein you complain about being lonely and socially awkward. Some very good advice was given to you in those threads. Have you attempted to follow any of it? How about therapy for your anxiety and depression? From your picture you are a very pretty young lady. I am sure there are many young lonely folks that would be happy to be friends with you. The only thing stopping it is you.
Being Socially awkward is understandable by me. Back when I was young and good looking, a beautiful women rode up to me on a bicycle. She jumped from the bike tore off her clothes and dropped them by the cycle. Than she said in a low husky voice, "Take anything you want".
I took the bicycle. I could tell by looking at her that her clothes would never fit.
Now get out there and work on solving your problems. The world is your oyster. You are young, pretty and educated. Make the rest of things fall into place.
I took a tour back through your posting history. You have several threads wherein you complain about being lonely and socially awkward. Some very good advice was given to you in those threads. Have you attempted to follow any of it? How about therapy for your anxiety and depression? From your picture you are a very pretty young lady. I am sure there are many young lonely folks that would be happy to be friends with you. The only thing stopping it is you.
Being Socially awkward is understandable by me. Back when I was young and good looking, a beautiful women rode up to me on a bicycle. She jumped from the bike tore off her clothes and dropped them by the cycle. Than she said in a low husky voice, "Take anything you want".
I took the bicycle. I could tell by looking at her that her clothes would never fit.
Now get out there and work on solving your problems. The world is your oyster. You are young, pretty and educated. Make the rest of things fall into place.
I agree with what Matt is telling you! We can be our worst enemies. Fix yourself and everything else will fall into place. Start working on yourself and go to therapy if you must to talk to someone that can guide you in social situations.
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help me- life is a mess!
