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For the past 9-10 years or so I have felt like I have used up all of my emotional resources on my first two marriages. (one sociopath that wouldn't stay out of jail and the other preferred men) So, lately I find it soooo much easier to have my friends, the "toys" I play with and then family. It has become a nice balance.
Has anyone ever been so worn out by past relationships that they decide to just "quit"? I am happy here. I have peace. I devote parts of myself to all involved and everyone is getting more, I think. To top it off I'm happy. I know, if it works for me good. Does anyone else just crave "easier" in life to this degree? Me- a new 44.
My daughter's father cheated on me when I was 3months pregnant, I didn't find out until she turned 1yr old. I decided to end it and it was the biggest mistake I have ever made.
Now I was with someone for 3 1/2yrs and since day one it was a huge lie. Our so called relationship meant absolutely nothing to him. He acted like he was my boyfriend and he did everything that someone in a relationship should not be doing.
I have now given up. I am 38 will be 39 in 3wks (god willing) my daughter is 15yrs old and I don't want anything else to do with men at this point.
I am sooo hurt, devastated and embarrased. I feel like a total idiot and don't ever ever ever ever want to be cheated on and taken advantage of again!!
For the past 9-10 years or so I have felt like I have used up all of my emotional resources on my first two marriages. (one sociopath that wouldn't stay out of jail and the other preferred men) So, lately I find it soooo much easier to have my friends, the "toys" I play with and then family. It has become a nice balance.
Has anyone ever been so worn out by past relationships that they decide to just "quit"? I am happy here. I have peace. I devote parts of myself to all involved and everyone is getting more, I think. To top it off I'm happy. I know, if it works for me good. Does anyone else just crave "easier" in life to this degree? Me- a new 44.
Wow it sounds like you have very bad radar when it comes to men. Have you worked on that at all?
My daughter's father cheated on me when I was 3months pregnant, I didn't find out until she turned 1yr old. I decided to end it and it was the biggest mistake I have ever made.
Now I was with someone for 3 1/2yrs and since day one it was a huge lie. Our so called relationship meant absolutely nothing to him. He acted like he was my boyfriend and he did everything that someone in a relationship should not be doing.
I have now given up. I am 38 will be 39 in 3wks (god willing) my daughter is 15yrs old and I don't want anything else to do with men at this point.
I am sooo hurt, devastated and embarrased. I feel like a total idiot and don't ever ever ever ever want to be cheated on and taken advantage of again!!
Sometimes I think giving up is good cuz only at that point can you give to yourself. I did 11yrs and then 8. Don't be embarrassed cuz you can become so wise at this point. I think that maybe once the kids are gorwn we can consider our own daily happiness/being. I love my peace and I hate to admit I love my 21 year olds! Maybe it's a control issue? Once the "dream" dies it's nice to have control of what we alow to enter our lives......and watch out! True love CAN sneak in and bite you in the arse
Wow it sounds like you have very bad radar when it comes to men. Have you worked on that at all?
Most definitely and that is why this is my shoice. I feel it is something I CAN do right. I freely admit that marriage is something I will always do wrong. I feel I have to forsake myself, become someone else and compromise my honesty and integrity to maintain the peace. It is no fault of any man or man at all, but is tied back to my upbringing. I accept that and it's ok. I CAN"T do it right. Sure it might involve the other party but at this point it just seems like too much trouble to bother. I've got myself figured out and just don't have the energy for another. It's a GOOD place not a bitter place.
For the past 9-10 years or so I have felt like I have used up all of my emotional resources on my first two marriages. (one sociopath that wouldn't stay out of jail and the other preferred men) So, lately I find it soooo much easier to have my friends, the "toys" I play with and then family. It has become a nice balance.
Has anyone ever been so worn out by past relationships that they decide to just "quit"? I am happy here. I have peace. I devote parts of myself to all involved and everyone is getting more, I think. To top it off I'm happy. I know, if it works for me good. Does anyone else just crave "easier" in life to this degree? Me- a new 44.
I'm done too.
I will be completely drained when I am done with this marriage.
Glad to hear you are happy. I will be too in about 7 years.
For the past 9-10 years or so I have felt like I have used up all of my emotional resources on my first two marriages. (one sociopath that wouldn't stay out of jail and the other preferred men) So, lately I find it soooo much easier to have my friends, the "toys" I play with and then family. It has become a nice balance.
Has anyone ever been so worn out by past relationships that they decide to just "quit"? I am happy here. I have peace. I devote parts of myself to all involved and everyone is getting more, I think. To top it off I'm happy. I know, if it works for me good. Does anyone else just crave "easier" in life to this degree? Me- a new 44.
I think a lot of women in their 40s and 50s come to crave peace in their lives, and if that means not being in a relationship, they're fine with it. Heck, I have a good relationship, but if it ever ends, I don't see myself bothering with men and dating for a good long time, if ever. (And if I did, I would stop visiting C-D! Too many horror stories and I wouldn't want to get caught up in the negativity.)
Just relax, enjoy your life, friends, family, and hobbies, maybe do a little traveling, take a class in something you always wanted to learn. If you are happy and have inner peace, there is nothing to "fix" or "work on."
Swan, many people live non traditional lifestyles and relationships. If you are happy in life then you're doing what's good for you. Just makes me wish I was 21 again.
Giving up on "relationships" does not mean you are coming from a despondent place. Sometimes it is joyful and exceedingly peaceful. Maybe it is taking the time to learn the value in a relationship with yourself. And sometimes it opens you to other possibilities..........
About the time I gave up and said "to hell with it" someone very special came along and changed my view of the whole notion of a relationship.
Edit:
Someone repped me to be very careful... Yes I have been burned and hurt more than once. I have also hurt and caused harm. So yes I will be careful that 1. I don't inflict any pain, and 2 allow myself to be hurt too. I know I can't control what happens to me. But I can learn from past errors to not repeat them again.
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