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I'm 24, and only this past year have I considered getting married. I used to always say to my mom that I would never marry or have kids, but that's been changing as of late. I really do want to get married. I want stability and companionship. I'm not interested in casually dating anymore and I hope my next relationship will be "it"! I'm single, but I'm excited because I know that I will meet him eventually, I just hope that it will be before my ovaries decide they don't want to work anymore.
I'm 24, and only this past year have I considered getting married. I used to always say to my mom that I would never marry or have kids, but that's been changing as of late. I really do want to get married. I want stability and companionship. I'm not interested in casually dating anymore and I hope my next relationship will be "it"! I'm single, but I'm excited because I know that I will meet him eventually, I just hope that it will be before my ovaries decide they don't want to work anymore.
I rest my case. This is not a jab at rivermeet but this is exactly my point. How steadfast or solid of a foundation is it to take the mother of all financial and life plunges based on an epiphany that literally hits women in the same light switch "swtich off switch ON" fashion as the casual, non-committal, ambivalent way they behave themselves prior to said epiphany? And you want men to take the nose dive on that assertion at face value? Do I really think you capable of flipping that emotionally ambivalent, casually dating monster off at the drop of a hat? Gimme. A. Break.
I was trying to date this 23 year old last month (mistake #1 lol). Swore up and down she was ready. She wasn't. Body mouth disconnect I call it. Espouse one thing, behave another. And they look at you like the one with a problem. It's insane. I don't blame the 23 yo solely. it's the social conditioning that creates this environment of instantaneous life "and.......ok Im ready now"'ism pushed forth by a facebook 24 hour relationship status change culture, and the perennial female peer approval machine most young women establish as their moral compass. It's insane. But keep listening to Oprah and "you can have it all, at all times, in your time expectations, and it's righteous because you're WOman", and you'll get what you wish for.
Nope, Im afraid I need a little more than "yeah I'm ready" from the under 30 female crowd to convince me to remove food from my plate and electricity over my roof to entertain playing house with you because society tells you the only lasting and righteous way of playing house for posterity is with that dumb piece of paper at the county court..
Again, not intended at you miss rivermeets personally, your comments just fall within the scope of the stereotype I was alluding to.
Last edited by hindsight2020; 11-03-2010 at 06:17 PM..
In all honesty, the best thing to do is live your life as to the fullest as possible in all other aspects. Try to be successful at your job or start your own company. Play sports with friends on recreational teams. Learn to play guitar. Go travel Europe. These are all things I do or plan on doing soon, and these things will make me happy and give me better sense of self worth. Don't look for it in someone else.
I'd rather be single than married to the wrong person. If I was in a relationship that was headed towards marriage, I'd rather live with that person for awhile to make sure we were compatable enough to marry.
Im only 25, and yet still enjoy being single. Im fine and content with where I am right now, but all of my girlfriends that I have seem to be obsessing about marriage and getting married ASAP.
So my questions is, is your clock ticking for you to get married? And at what age should my clock be "ticking" away?I still figure i got 2-3 years of being single.
Yet my older friends says to get married NOW... what the heck?!
I agree their is no clock o getting married and getting married just to be married is a proposition for grief. Marriage and then a divorce is a disastered fro stats. But its also true that after40 your chances slimdown but no reason to rush into a bad marriage really.
Again, not intended at you miss rivermeets personally, your comments just fall within the scope of the stereotype I was alluding to.
I'm not offended, it's an open forum and I like reading the feedback. But I think I'm a little more complicated than a stereotype. I actually grew up in a very unstable, chaotic home and raised by a single parent. I love my mom to death, but I will not raise my children in the same environment.(I think my initial feelings about not wantingto have a family were a result of my bad childhood) I have always craved stability in my life, regardless of my "status"...this has nothing to do with my peers. Many of them are still out and about being single with no intentions of settling down just yet. More power to them.
I am not suggesting marriage is the solution to my "problem" but growing up without an intact family has made me want to be a part of one even more. So I guess I'll just have to create my own! It has taken a lot time, reflection and thought to come to the realization that this is something I want in life. And if this is something I want, to have a family, then it would be silly to act like I have all the time in the world...because that just isn't true.
I definitely want a life partner but have no desire to get married.
And what's with all this talk about "screening" potential partners? Just find someone you're compatible with and treats you with respect. Stop being so judgmental. People aren't out to get you.
HAHA, wow, it's funny for a guy, ahem 90sman, to think there is some pressure to get married. Dude, trust me, your stock will go up as you age if you're at all successful or career-oriented. I mean, even a moderate level of success and financial stability and you'll be more desirable not less.
I have no desire to get married, really never have, but I turn 28 this year and the idea that most people in the country have been married or are married by age 28 is ludicrous. I mean, I graduated college at 22, which seems like practically yesterday, weird, and since then have been completely focused on a tough career, I've hardly met anyone, let alone anyone I really enjoyed being with, it's shocking to me that anyone my age could have already met someone they felt that strongly about. It's really quite strange, 28 is incredibly young especially by today's standards.
There is certainly no clock, but it scares me when girls think this way and it's one reason I prefer to date young 20s girls, not girls close to my age or older, because I'm too worried about them in general looking for "Mr. Right." Gives me the willies.
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But I think I'm a little more complicated than a stereotype. I actually grew up in a very unstable, chaotic home and raised by a single parent. I love my mom to death, but I will not raise my children in the same environment.(I think my initial feelings about not wantingto have a family were a result of my bad childhood) I have always craved stability in my life, regardless of my "status"...this has nothing to do with my peers. Many of them are still out and about being single with no intentions of settling down just yet. More power to them.
