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So I'm in my mid twenties. Don't want to get married. Don't want to have kids. I'm super laid back, not in a rush, have no "internal" clock to speak of. So needless to say I do attract a lot of guys. The one thing they always say is that they feel they can be themselves around me. I don't really have expectations (as far as looking forward goes) and I just take it one day at a time.
Other then personal goals for myself (going to grad school/getting my own place/having a successful career) I don't worry myself with much else. I have no pressure whatsoever from my family to get married or have kids (which is GREAT).
So I guess the conundrum is guys tend to find me easy to date...until the dreaded kids/marriage conversation arises.
Most girls (NOT ALL) I know who are at the stage in their life where their thinking of marriage/moving in with someone/ kids are neurotic, possessive, emotionally stressed, highly irritated, and in a rush constantly.
So the question is....What do guys want? The wife/mother type who understandably has pressure on her constantly (causing irrational behaviors guys hate)? Or the laid back girl who just so happens to be laid back because there isn't that pressure?
I'd take the laid back type, but unfortunately I got the pressured type the first time around. Most guys eventually want the family and children thing, but there are plenty who do not. Seek out the latter.
(BTW, did you mean "neurotic" rather than "necrotic"? LOL)
I think most guys would prefer the laid back girl who isn't pressuring them to get married and start a family. It all depends on the guy though, and what stage he is at in his life. You can pretty much figure that out early on before it becomes an issue.
I also noticed that many of those who married early and rushed into the family thing were always stressed, rushed, and generally seemed to be unhappy. This was enough to convince me to wait.
to be honest i didn't understand your post. The neurotic "wife mother" type, or the "laid back girl" ? Is this the dichotomy of choices?
How about an attractive woman who is understanding, laid back, a good wife, a good mother, who isn't unreasonable and neurotic, and has expectations about life and ambition that are similar to mine? That sounds about ideal to me.
You need to date, probably, based on "child-free" sites. I had the same issue, with 90% of people out there being "breeders", 90% of the people you meet at random are, well, family-oriented.
So I would suggest you find such web sites and select your dates from there.
Nothing wrong with not wanting kids, there are a minority of guys out there that want a child-free relationship with a gal.
So the question is....What do guys want? The wife/mother type who understandably has pressure on her constantly (causing irrational behaviors guys hate)? Or the laid back girl who just so happens to be laid back because there isn't that pressure?
Opinions?
From what I have gathered reading posts here and from what Ive seen personally, men want the laid back, no pressure woman until they decide they want to settle down. Then they dont care about or want your degree or successful career. They want the wife/mother, someone to care for them, their children and home and not a woman to compete with. Same way they want a fun loving sexual woman until they want to settle down, then they want a virgin not someone who has slept with more than 3 ppl or who would sleep with them sooner than the 3rd or 5th date.
Since you dont want to marry or have kids, I dont see the conundrum. Enjoy.
Location: Everybody is going to hurt you, you just gotta find the ones worth suffering for-B Marley
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Quote:
Originally Posted by le roi
the best we can get.
to be honest i didn't understand your post. The neurotic "wife mother" type, or the "laid back girl" ? Is this the dichotomy of choices?
How about an attractive woman who is understanding, laid back, a good wife, a good mother, who isn't unreasonable and neurotic, and has expectations about life and ambition that are similar to mine? That sounds about ideal to me.
Same here, starting with the 'needless to say'. My first thought--and it's my story so I'm sticking to it--is maybe you should concentrate on your education for now. That road can lead to all good things.
You can't live your life trying to please others, especially not guys. Just date and have fun. Life is too short to be worrying about what guys want in a woman. When you continue working on becoming the kind of woman you want to be, you will find the kind of guy that is okay with your no marriage/ no kids ideals. Until then, travel... there's alot more to life and in this world that you could ever imagine.
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