Madonna/Ho vs Poppa/Playa? (movies, marry, women, lover)

[Ticatica]

Is it possible that some women can't reconcile the view of a nurturing supportive guy with a elusive and mysterious guy? Could there be a female's equivalent to the Madonna/Ho Complex? I think it's possible! What do you guys think?

[imsh0t]

Can you explain what you mean? I don't really understand...

Are talking about are there guys that are both sexy/attractive as well as supportive/husband material?

[DrEarth]

I have no idea what you are talking about.

[Ticatica]

Some men feel there are good girls and bad girls. The good girls are the type to marry and have children with. The bad girls are women to have sex with. In some relationships, once the woman gets pregnant, the man has trouble seeing her as a sexual being again and avoid any sexual contact with her. I was reading about a woman who had the equivalent reaction. She was running after bad boys rather than good boys because they weren't "sexy" enough for her. Any guy who seemed to be a good husband/fatherly type she couldn't see as sexy. That made me wonder if that's a common thing.

[imsh0t]

It stems from lack of a rationality. It's our "natural" instincts taking over. It's learned through evolution and it all stems from the male and female physiology. Lets think back to the stone age. It's a rough world and we all just need to do what it takes to survive and reproduce and ensure our children continue the cycle. A woman has one seed (her egg), and needs to find the STRONGEST, most SURVIVABLE sperm for that egg. While the Man needs to impregnate as many women as possible. Watch the discovery channel, many animals do this.

So coming back to modern times. It makes sense why women like BAD Guys, its because women see them as strong and confident, and dominant so they want their children like that. Nice guys are pushovers, so not sexy. Likewise men want to impregnate as many women as possible without being bogged down with commitment. That's why they want "bad girls" who they can bang and dump. A good girl who wants them to stay and be monogamous is undesirable.

This is of course simplified, but that is why things are the way they are. It's not culture, its not society, its ingrained in our natural instinct. Am i saying a commited relationship is impossible? No of course not, but you have to fight the urge to do such things with your WILLPOWER. That is why our frontal lobes are large, because we have reasoning ability. To be honest, the whole dilemna is really an immature one. Young people will keep up this vicious cycle until they feel ready to "settle down" as their biological clock is ticking.

I am not an expert so dont kill me if u disagree with my opinion

[SifuPhil]

I believe what you're looking for is called the Lover/Provider Complex (not sure if they've renamed it since I learned about it in school). It is basically the female equivalent of the Madonna/***** complex. According to the theory, much in the same way men desire a woman who is both utterly chaste and is totally sexually debauched, women desire a man who both excites them sexually and emotionally and will stick around to provide for them. In other words, women ultimately want a man who embodies alpha and beta traits – the so-called “gamma male”.

[imsh0t]

phil, do you think thats possible? The gamma male im tallking about. Im thinking along the lines of yes, but few and far between relatively. In order of percent of population of males, beginning with the least im thinking Gamma, Alpha, Beta.

I guess girls want to alpha's and hope they turn out to be gammas. And the ones who got gammas got a good catch

[SifuPhil]

Originally Posted by victorhe33

phil, do you think thats possible? The gamma male im tallking about. Im thinking along the lines of yes, but few and far between relatively. In order of percent of population of males, beginning with the least im thinking Gamma, Alpha, Beta.

I certainly do believe that it is possible - in fact, probable. I'm basing my belief upon both my studies and my life experiences. Whether the Gammas come about through nature or nurture, I'm not so sure. Can one find The Idiot's Guide To Becoming A Gamma Male? I've looked long and hard with no success.

As for the percentages, I think you're right on the button. The God-like Gammas at the top, few but all-powerful; a healthy spread of Alphas strutting around beneath them like so many self-important middle-managers; and finally the great unwashed, Untouchable and desperate mass of Betas.

I guess girls want to alpha's and hope they turn out to be gammas. And the ones who got gammas got a good catch

Fueled by one too many Disney movies as a child, no doubt.

You didn't mention what the Beta-catchers feel...cheated? Was it for them the term "settled" was invented? Are they secretly hoping to trade up, or do they simply lead lives of quiet desperation?

Food for thought on all counts, says I...

[imsh0t]

If i was jaded id say that the betacatcher if smart would trick the beta into raising her and her alpha children(after cheating on him secretly with an alpha). Or they wait til middle age, divorce the beta and have fun partying it up with his money with some alphas that she lusted after.

About the betas i remember reading something about how in todays "modern" world betas are actually preferred as their strengths (basically being a good provider) is more important then alpha (macho) traits. However, the evidence against this would be the legions of frustrated beta men.

I agree that gamma is the most desirable. That might be what the article was actually about I forgot. Well if nurture has more pull (which i certainly hope so, as then self improvement is possible), then perhaps alpha and beta men could become more like gamma men through learning.

[Yzette]

Originally Posted by SifuPhil

I certainly do believe that it is possible - in fact, probable. I'm basing my belief upon both my studies and my life experiences. Whether the Gammas come about through nature or nurture, I'm not so sure. Can one find The Idiot's Guide To Becoming A Gamma Male? I've looked long and hard with no success.

Seems to me that a Gamma is an Alpha who grew up or a Beta who grew some doodads.

My SO appears to be the first sort.