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If they're really as toxic as you say they are, tell 'em to go f___ themselves and then do your own thing.
Agreed. I made the mistake of trying to include my parents in our wedding. First they tried to boycott it. Then, after I paid for all their travel expenses, they deigned to come...and I still got **** poor attitude and put-downs. Thing is, I didn't know they had planned to boycott till AFTER the wedding (my brother had talked them out of it in the interests of family peace).
Now they want to act like the only reason anything seemed amiss was because they didn't feel included enough in the planning. If I had known their original thoughts on the whole thing, I would have saved myself a few thousand bucks and just done the whole thing happier without them.
Again, I can't take that risk. I would just like to keep my new founded life separate from family. I've been oppressed too much. Plus, I don't think I could handle their criticism and judgments if they met her.
Huh?
You do what you want, I'm not interested in running your life and not what I questioned in my second post.
I can see feeling the need to lie and the verbal diversion with your family has effected how you communicate.
I can predict you will have communication issues with your future wife when problems arise in your relationship
Agreed. I made the mistake of trying to include my parents in our wedding. First they tried to boycott it. Then, after I paid for all their travel expenses, they deigned to come...and I still got **** poor attitude and put-downs. Thing is, I didn't know they had planned to boycott till AFTER the wedding (my brother had talked them out of it in the interests of family peace).
Now they want to act like the only reason anything seemed amiss was because they didn't feel included enough in the planning. If I had known their original thoughts on the whole thing, I would have saved myself a few thousand bucks and just done the whole thing happier without them.
I can top that. At my first wedding, the ex's parents would only provide hors d'eouvres at the reception. But they invited the bride's guests back to their home for a full catered dinner. None of my guests were invited. They literally got up and left in the middle of the reception. And mind you, most of my guests came in from out-of-state, and not only were they not even going to get a freaking meal out of it (my parents had to provide a "pre-wedding lunch" for the groom's guests to ensure they were fed), but they got walked out on by dozens of people. Given that fiasco, I was all too happy to do a quickie courthouse wedding the second time.
My ex's dad offered us five grand to elope. In hindsight, we not only should have taken him up on the offer, but should have taken the whole situation as a sign of how well our marriage would go.
Your mammy? Is that really what you call your mother? Also, don't tell them IF you ever get married. Who really cares? It is your life isn't it? Do whatever you want...if you are an adult.
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