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To those of you who have given a guy the ultimatum, did you offer to help him quit?
I smoke, although I've tried quitting a few times, and trust me we all KNOW that it's bad for us. We're not stupid. The reason so many people quit but then start it up again is because nobody offers us a really good alternative. The only thing that takes the edge off me better than smoking is drinking, and I'd rather not start an alcohol habit. So unless someone can give me some really good alternatives to lighting up, it will be very difficult to quit smoking.
Exercise? It's nice, and I've been trying to get into a routine, but what if it's 1AM and the gym is closed and I feel like the walls are closing in? Can't exactly go pump some iron.
I used to smoke. I quit cold turkey 4.5 years ago.
My beloved Barb smoked about 1.5 to two packs a day. Then she got lung cancer. Then it spread to her brain. My love couldn't survive this terrible disease.
First off: I'm a guy and I date women. Or I used to, but that is a different story. Anyways, when I was younger, I absolutely despised smoking/smokers. I would never consider dating a smoker back then and I was 'lucky' to only have a few friends who smoked.
But, as I aged I realized that it takes all kinds of people to make the world go round. I wanted people to accept me for who I was, faults, vices, and all. So it just seemed logical to extend that towards others. I also realized something else: some really hot and/or cool girls/women smoke. Ironically, a few years prior it would have been an absolute no-questions-asked deal breaker. All of sudden I found myself not caring [as much] anymore.
I don't know how to explain this, but smoking just makes some people look absolutely disgusting. Yet, for others it seems like an extension of their sexuality, persona, allure. Take James Dean, Cary Grant, Johnny Depp or the cast of Mad Men, and you'll get an idea of what I am talking about.
Some smokers also reek of smoke, as if it permeates their skin or something. Others, it is not even noticeable. For the most part it is how they take care of themselves. I know a few of you are rolling your eyes thinking if they were really taking care of themselves then they wouldn't smoke, so leave it to yourselves. Some people just use the proper perfume/cologne, smoke outdoors as opposed to inside (less smoke to stick to your clothes, etc.), smoke 'higher quality' cigarettes (not suggesting they are healthier, but I have noticed that really cheap cigarettes smell even worse then the more expensive 'designer' brands). Use of dental floss, breath mints, etc.
As for "licking an ashtray", I've never licked an ashtray, but I am sure it is far worse than kissing a smoker. Smoker's breath is definitely immediately noticeable if they are not chewing gum or using mints, but I have noticed that it goes away rather quickly.
So, would I date a smoker? I currently have a serious crush on a smoker. Would I date her? You're damn right I would.
I will say this: the smell of Camels, and only Camels for some reason, makes me want to vomit.
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Originally Posted by HurricaneDC
20% of the adult population smokes, and I believe about 20% of women smoke. So there's about 1/5 of the crop that won't mind for sure, and then some more who don't smoke but who may not mind.
I wouldn't believe any statistics. My guess is that there are far more smokers out there as some may not want to admit to it.
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Originally Posted by cremebrulee
I wish the news would report statistics now, about how many adults and children who have cancers have never smoked.
Me to. Up until, well the present, if you were diagnosed with lung cancer and smoked, used to smoke, or where in a situation where you were around second smoke-even if these things took place years or decades ago-the cause of your lung cancer would be attributed to smoking/exposure to second hand smoke.
I read an article yesterday discussing how scientists are on the verge of differentiating the various types of lung cancers to separate those that are caused by smoking/second hand smoke and those that are not. Should turn the insurance industry upside down, but I think that it will shed some light on the overall health of the air we breathe and other toxins we are exposed to.
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Originally Posted by TabulaRasa
What if your partner took up (or relapsed into) smoking well after you established a solid relationship?
My theory is, if he can go x months without smoking, he can go forever without smoking. Doesn't seem to work out that way, though. As much as it bothers me, it's not something worth leaving the relationship over.
I'm a live and let live type of person. If my SO decided to take up smoking I would ask why, but it is ultimately her decision to do so.
My mom quit for five years, then started again. She tried to explain it, but all that I was really able to get out of it is that she is 'happier' when she smokes, despite everything else. Like smoking elevates her mood in some way not capable by other means. She also said that if you never smoked, then you would never understand.
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Originally Posted by Little Mizz Pittsburgh
I'm not open to dating a guy who smokes cigarettes, but I'm open to a guy who smokes weed. The details as to why is because cigarettes smell, make your house smell, make your clothes & hair smell, and I just can't tolerate that cigarette breath. Weed, I don't smoke it, but I am just able to tolerate it better than cigarettes. However, if he is a WEED HEAD, meaning he has to smoke it EVERYDAY, ALL DAY, then that's a no go, too.
Gah, I would never date a pot smoker for the same reasons that some people would never date a cigarette smoker.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Oildog
As a guy, I refuse to date smokers.
I was out drinking recently and a smoker came up and kissed me. It was gross. I should have given her 3 shots of Rumpleminze.
Perhaps, it should have been you to have the 3 shots. I mean, you didn't mention she was ugly, and I am assuming the Rumple was to give her a 'minty' mouth, so I am assuming the only drawback was her smoking?
If CD.com had been alive back in the 50's, and this poll had been conducted,
you would have had to added another box to the poll: Do I have any choice?
I would have to wonder why they would suddenly pick up smoking? Most smokers (somewhere around 90%) started in their adolescents and early adulthood, mostly for peer pressure/social smoking. If a middle-aged or older adult suddenly started smoking for the first time, I would be concerned something else is wrong (Depression, some insecurity etc.).
Well, like I posted, in my situation, he didn't suddenly pick up smoking. It was something he did start as a teen, did through his twenties, and quit when he was in his late twenties and met me and wanted to date me. I wasn't aware he'd been a smoker, only that he didn't smoke when I started going out with him. In the years since then, he'll fall off the wagon an average of once a year, but said relapses never last. Still, they occur with almost calendar regularity...I know what the something else that's wrong is, it's that he gets stressed out at our annual trips to see his family (and rightfully so). I don't cope with stress that way, but my stress-coping methods aren't always healthy, either, so I don't really judge. But I'm not a fan of smoking.
For myself, I know that I'd never end the relationship over the fact that once a year or so, he'll break down and smoke, briefly. But was curious about how other anti-smoking people would react if their SO or spouse relapsed even briefly into an old habit if it wasn't one that they'd had when you signed on for the relationship.
Have you guys ever actually licked an ashtray??? Im a smoker and although ive never actually licked an ashtray myself, I have gotten ashes in in my mouth and I can assure you, kissing a smoker would not taste near as bad as licking an ashtray
Bad enough. I kissed a smoker once. Never again. Even ashtray breath makes me recoil. I have friends who smoke and I have to really force myself not to screw my face up when kissing them.
I am French so I grew up surrounded by people who smoked heavily ( I think I was a very rare bird not smoking growing up as a tennager) and it is so, so off putting. My step mother was the only exception. She smoked two to three packs of unfiltered Gauloises a day and never smelled at all. It was bizarre, quite un-natural. We reckon she made some secret deal with the Devil to smell as good as she did.
Otherwise though, smoking is a filthy habit and though I tolerate it with friends I would not with someone I will get intimate with and kiss on a regular basis. Sorry but no. And yes smokers taste like stale ash. The kind of smell you get the morning after a party with hundreds of cold cigarette ash in the ashtray. Sorry to disillusion you but they do. The smell on clothes( mine or others ) is enough to make me want to retch). I am not exaggerating by the way.
Since smoking has been banned in public places in the UK I have regained the pleasure of going out and enjoying an evening of smoke free fun. Going to the pub used to make me feel really ill, my eyes would water, I would feel nauseous and of course my clothes would have to be cleaned immediately when coming home and a shower taken to take the stink out of my skin and hair. Now I can breathe and not feel like a pariah.
I stand by ashtray mouth. A friend of mine , a non smoker married to a smoker also adds that a heavy smoker's tongue is a lot harder ( or feels like it) and when kissing I would say that is a huge drawback. Kissing to me is hugely important so I prefer to kiss someone who tastes minty fresh. Breath mints are simply not strong enough to reduce habitual smokers' lingering smell.
Well, like I posted, in my situation, he didn't suddenly pick up smoking. It was something he did start as a teen, did through his twenties, and quit when he was in his late twenties and met me and wanted to date me. I wasn't aware he'd been a smoker, only that he didn't smoke when I started going out with him. In the years since then, he'll fall off the wagon an average of once a year, but said relapses never last. Still, they occur with almost calendar regularity...I know what the something else that's wrong is, it's that he gets stressed out at our annual trips to see his family (and rightfully so). I don't cope with stress that way, but my stress-coping methods aren't always healthy, either, so I don't really judge. But I'm not a fan of smoking.
For myself, I know that I'd never end the relationship over the fact that once a year or so, he'll break down and smoke, briefly. But was curious about how other anti-smoking people would react if their SO or spouse relapsed even briefly into an old habit if it wasn't one that they'd had when you signed on for the relationship.
Fair enough. I originally thought you meant first timers, but there are previous smokers who relapse.
I also realized something else: some really hot and/or cool girls/women smoke. Ironically, a few years prior it would have been an absolute no-questions-asked deal breaker. All of sudden I found myself not caring [as much] anymore.
The thing is, these people may look "hot" now, but when smoking takes its toll, not so much....
The thing is, these people may look "hot" now, but when smoking takes its toll, not so much....
Is that right...?
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