Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
It seems that what you really want to hear from one of us is "Just go for it and see where it takes you. Try to keep on the down low from your wife and everything should be fine"
In all honesty, there are some (not all) mighty fine 50+ year-old men out there. If one takes care of themselves, it shows as we age.
To name a couple of men (who we all know), look at Denzel Washington (55) and Bruce Willis (55). When I see them, I don't think "ewww, old!"...I think "yum, hot!".
Even Sean Connery who is (gasp!) 80 has charisma and a distinguished air about him.
We are completely off topic here...Sorry to hijack the thread.
No, we're on topic. The OP said he finds his older coworker attractive. So it's on topic to discuss whether or not old people are attractive.
No, we're on topic. The OP said he finds his older coworker attractive. So it's on topic to discuss whether or not old people are attractive.
I haven't quite made it to 55, but not old people are unattractive. I've seen a lot of adolescents that are unattractive too.
The OP didn't say she was beautiful, just attractive. I guess that means she is clean, well dressed, and doesn't walk with a walker yet.
I haven't quite made it to 55, but not old people are unattractive. I've seen a lot of adolescents that are unattractive too.
The OP didn't say she was beautiful, just attractive. I guess that means she is clean, well dressed, and doesn't walk with a walker yet.
We don't even know how old she is. It would be nice if the OP enlightened us. You're right, there are unattractive young people. But there are also attractive young people. Old people are, by their very nature, unattractive as far as I'm concerned. I find nothing attractive about wrinkles.
There is a woman that I do business with frequently. She is much older than I am (15 years) and she is married. So am I by the way. Several of my other business partners have said they think she has a crush on me and even go so far as to call her my cougar. I can tell she flirts with me but its not big deal to me cause I do not look at her in that way. I have never told her she is attractive or nice looking even though she is attractive. I really do not flirt back in other words. I just learned at a young age to stay professional around women when doing business (my eyes never go below the neck).
She has invited me to lunch several times. The first time I went with other business partners so it was a group of us. The next time we went alone. It wasn't anything taboo. Just lunch, talking about kids and business. Now she asks me every other week to go to lunch. So we have been about a half dozen times. She has starting telling me about her marriage being in trouble and how her husband is out of town weeks at a time. I mainly listen and do not talk much about myself and my situation. She asks me for help with things I think she should be asking her husband like auto maintenance, house, and kid advice. So even though nothing is going on is she some how making me her platonic boy toy?
Do you all think these are inappropriate lunches? Should I stop going with her? I would prefer to hear from women... but men you can chime in too I guess.
Mm, mm, mm- it sounds like she's trying to groom you like a pedofile grooms a child.
I appreciate the responses. Based on what I have heard I think I will stop going to lunch with her alone or in a group.
I will just make up excuses every time. I realize that's kinda cowardly but I would rather not say anything than have completely misinterpreted her intentions. Ending the lunches sounds like the cleanest way to end things. I do expect her to comment about me not going anymore but I think the type of comment she makes will let me know what her intentions were.
I spoke with her briefly today and she hinted at going to lunch next week. I just acted like I didn't hear her. We'll see how cold shoulder goes...
I appreciate the responses. Based on what I have heard I think I will stop going to lunch with her alone or in a group.
I will just make up excuses every time. I realize that's kinda cowardly but I would rather not say anything than have completely misinterpreted her intentions. Ending the lunches sounds like the cleanest way to end things. I do expect her to comment about me not going anymore but I think the type of comment she makes will let me know what her intentions were.
I spoke with her briefly today and she hinted at going to lunch next week. I just acted like I didn't hear her. We'll see how cold shoulder goes...
Thanks everyone!!!
BTW, I'm 34, she is 49.
It's not cowardly. What you're really doing is helping her save face, and doing it in a graceful manner. Rather than ignore her, however, invite someone else along as well. Sometimes telling the truth can be more harmful than simply doing it like this.
I haven't read all the replies here so I may double up on someone. But, here's my 2 cents worth from a 60+ female. You don't want to reject someone who sincerely just needs some sound advice about whatever, but there's definitely a judgement call to be made here and you're probably wise to get some opinions on it. One thing I'm wondering is, does your wife know you're going to lunch with this lady? If not, there's one indication that may point you in the right direction. Another thought is, even if everything is on the up & up, the 'appearance' factor may cause you problems. If you're giving the appearance of something wrong, others can misunderstand what's taking place. I agree with whoever said that if you curtail the lunches, you can judge her intent from her reaction. What about, maybe, visiting with her at non-busy times during the regular business day when you're not alone together? This may violate your duty to your employer, however. Just some thoughts, here.
We don't even know how old she is. It would be nice if the OP enlightened us. You're right, there are unattractive young people. But there are also attractive young people. Old people are, by their very nature, unattractive as far as I'm concerned. I find nothing attractive about wrinkles.
I understand that you are "young" and you have every right to feel the way you do about age.
Let's just say hypothetically that you fall in love. I mean true love (if you are lucky) and you live a long life (if you are lucky) and you plan to grow old with your significant other. Would you still love her/him when the two of you are old and wrinkly?
Mr GE, I think you are doing the right thing for everyone involved.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
