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Total unadulterated baloney. If you read the OP, you'll find a guy who blames women for his failure to be in a relationship, using the ultimate in lazy-assed cop-out lines: Women aren't attracted to good men like me. Women only want to date a-holes.
This is nothing more than self-serving crap. It doesn't solve the fundamental problem, and it certainly isn't true. The problem is that the guy has some basic problem in approaching/talking with/nurturing relationships with women, but will not look at himself as a person. In that sense, I think a little tough love is the right way to go.
After all, there's a big, big difference between being a Nice Guy and being a self-absorbed, passive aggressive doormat of an individual. Which is he?
You'll also find that he's only 18. Now, I'm sure when cpg was 18 he knew everything there was to know about women and didn't have an insecure bone in his body.
If you read through the thread you'll find that he was actually willing to listen to good advice, he's not stuck in negativity like you're accusing him of.
Whatever!!! When I was younger I always wanted the bad boy, which is pretty much what I always got, I am married to a bad boy, and let me tell you, I cant stand bad boys, anymore, actually i havent for a long time, I searched for a good guy for a long time, and never could find, one, Ha go figure, To hear you say you cant find a good girl, is weird for me, as a woman, who couldnt find a good guy, I love my husband but hes a jerk,the only time we have fun together is when were watching the game,or a movie, rarely when we go to dinner and thats all the bad guys seem to be cool on the image part of it, but a real A@#hole. honestly I would much rather have a really nice down to earth funny guy, then a hot buff jerk off!! just dont give up!!!! Im sure there is a awesome girl out there for you!!
Honestly, the whole nice guy-bad boy thing has been *WAAAYYY* overblown on the internet and in the media.
-I think success with women comes down to 80% social skills. And 20% looks, personal hygiene, cleanliness, and personal standards. That's it! Women don't go through life dividing guys up into camps...he's nice...he's this. He's a bad boy. He's this....
What's your natural reaction when you see a hot girl? You don't think logically....well, she might be this or this or this. You think..."she's a hot girl". Same with girls! These "bad boys", "a**holes" have an attraction aura of being themselves.
-Honestly, I wonder what these "nice guys" do all day. Half of the world is men, half are women. It shouldn't be that hard to find someone. What are your standards? Are they impossible?
I don't think enough "nice guys" do what they want to do in life. Then you're in a state of not trying so hard. I think too many guys wait around for Mrs Perfect to land in their lap. By eharmony, by the media, by experts or "gurus".
Instead of dividing yourself up into a group...you're this, you're this, do what you really want to do in life after about 18. Metaphorically, after the toys are put away in childhood, I don't think enough guys get out and get real life experience. Intellectualizing life experience...."I'm this, I'm this" is not the same as living it. The internet and media has contributed to making it so intellectualized.
For tips on longer term relationships, look at photos of happy couples. Like on flickr. These people aren't trying so hard. It really depends on what you want.
I don't think enough "nice guys" do what they want to do in life. Then you're in a state of not trying so hard. I think too many guys wait around for Mrs Perfect to land in their lap. By eharmony, by the media, by experts or "gurus".
Excellent point. A lot of 'nice guys' (and 'nice girls' too) seem to hang around a hot girl/guy they like and hope they get noticed for the 'nice' person they think they are. When they should instead be coming right out and saying: "Hey, I like you, let's go out...and I don't mean as friends!"
Honestly, the whole nice guy-bad boy thing has been *WAAAYYY* overblown on the internet and in the media.
-I think success with women comes down to 80% social skills. And 20% looks, personal hygiene, cleanliness, and personal standards. That's it! Women don't go through life dividing guys up into camps...he's nice...he's this. He's a bad boy. He's this....
What's your natural reaction when you see a hot girl? You don't think logically....well, she might be this or this or this. You think..."she's a hot girl". Same with girls! These "bad boys", "a**holes" have an attraction aura of being themselves.
-Honestly, I wonder what these "nice guys" do all day. Half of the world is men, half are women. It shouldn't be that hard to find someone. What are your standards? Are they impossible?
I don't think enough "nice guys" do what they want to do in life. Then you're in a state of not trying so hard. I think too many guys wait around for Mrs Perfect to land in their lap. By eharmony, by the media, by experts or "gurus".
Instead of dividing yourself up into a group...you're this, you're this, do what you really want to do in life after about 18. Metaphorically, after the toys are put away in childhood, I don't think enough guys get out and get real life experience. Intellectualizing life experience...."I'm this, I'm this" is not the same as living it. The internet and media has contributed to making it so intellectualized.
For tips on longer term relationships, look at photos of happy couples. Like on flickr. These people aren't trying so hard. It really depends on what you want.
Unfortunately some of it comes from personal experience.
I think what modern guys go through after the age of about 18 is insanity. They "wait" until everything is lined up. They've got to be this. They've got to act this way. They go out in the field, but then reconfirm it on the internet...."Am I doing it ok? Does this girl like me".
This is not what the world intended. This is not what nature intended. "Nice" should not be doing everything so a girl will open her legs for you. "Nice" should be the way you are. And she'll open her legs doing things with you. Girls are just as horny as guys are. They're people too.
The whole construct almost reaches insanity.
Girls get the benefit in society of being in their natural state. If guys look at videos online of hot girls....in their mind they're going..."wow, look at her curves, look how her chest is rounded. Look how her bra strap is exposed. Look at her in those tight pants exposing her legs."
The same *triggers* can go off in a girls mind. "Wow, look at him. He doesn't have a care in the world. Wow, look at the way he moves. He doesn't need me". This creates attraction.
In this hyper-sensetive PC society it also stinks being confident in what's right and saying it. Usually what is right is not popular and you will be called a bigot, racist or sexist or woman hater. So being the nice guy may not get the girls, but it spares you a lot of grief.
I've had many guy friends who were self-proclaimed 'nice guys'. Mostly, they were just guys who smiled while they got walked all over at work, by women, by friends and by anyone else that came around them. Most women don't want to deal with a guy who is a doormat in life, they want a man who can stand up for himself and is motivated to get what he wants. Unfortunately, most jerky guys fit that profile perfectly which is why many women go after them.
I've dated a 'nice guy'...and to tell the truth, he was boring. He let me plan everything, he let me make most of the decisions and he was always so agreeable that we fell into a lull that bored the crap out of me. I don't mean to say he should have been a jerk, but he needed to take a little time and put some energy into our relationship.
I like nice guys...but I also like a guy who isn't nice, sweet and agreeable all the time. Grow some balls already.
Thank you all for the helpful...and not so helpful responses.
Stop being so nice, it stinks!
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