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Old 11-14-2010, 02:52 PM
 
1,571 posts, read 1,591,161 times
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This is part II on the poster asking if apologizing when you were in the wrong and hurt the person is easy.
Sometimes I find myself not accepting an apology and it's usually when I'm seriously not in the mood, totally dislike the person or when I really don't care no one or another. Other times I do accept it so this means the person is lucky if I forgive them right away.

So how about if you refuse to accept someone's apology? I would really get annoyed if someone keeps insisting how I should accept it and forgive them when I don't really feel like it.

Has any of you ever refused an apology before (even if it was a sincere one) and shrug it off as if it meant nothing?

I did this to one kid in 6th grade. He sounded sincere upon apologizing for teasing (it hurts getting verbally made fun of everyday, sarcastic comments passed out or called names) me everyday at school. This was one day before ending elementary school. He looked kind of sad and probably wanted to be my friend but I turn him down and shrug it off, giving him the silent treatment. I was indifferent towards him and till this day have no regrets towards it.

Last edited by Sunflower_lol; 11-14-2010 at 03:01 PM..
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Old 11-14-2010, 02:56 PM
 
4,876 posts, read 5,796,709 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Sunflower_lol View Post
This is part II on the poster asking if apologizing when you were in the wrong and hurt the person is easy.
Sometimes I find myself not accepting an apology and it's usually when I'm seriously not in the mood, totally dislike the person or when I really don't care no one or another. Other times I do accept it so this means the person is lucky if I forgive them right away.

So how about if you refuse to accept someone's apology? I would really get annoyed if someone keeps insisting how I should accept it and forgive them when I don't really feel like it.
I make it a point to apologize ONCE . It's a sincere apology. If that person cannot forgive me , then I don't repeat the apology because it gets redundant and pathetic.

They have heard your apology and whether they choose to accept it or not , its out of your control.
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Old 11-14-2010, 02:58 PM
 
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If the apology is followed by an active effort not to perform the wrong again, then yes.

A weak person only apologises to get themselves off of blame.
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Old 11-14-2010, 03:16 PM
 
1,561 posts, read 1,164,810 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Sunflower_lol View Post
This is part II on the poster asking if apologizing when you were in the wrong and hurt the person is easy.
Sometimes I find myself not accepting an apology and it's usually when I'm seriously not in the mood, totally dislike the person or when I really don't care no one or another. Other times I do accept it so this means the person is lucky if I forgive them right away.

So how about if you refuse to accept someone's apology? I would really get annoyed if someone keeps insisting how I should accept it and forgive them when I don't really feel like it.

Has any of you ever refused an apology before (even if it was a sincere one) and shrug it off as if it meant nothing?

I did this to one kid in 6th grade. He sounded sincere upon apologizing for teasing (it hurts getting verbally made fun of everyday, sarcastic comments passed out or called names) me everyday at school. This was one day before ending elementary school. He looked kind of sad and probably wanted to be my friend but I turn him down and shrug it off, giving him the silent treatment. I was indifferent towards him and till this day have no regrets towards it.
Yeech!

Last edited by MattB4; 11-14-2010 at 03:33 PM.. Reason: Unnecessary comment deleted
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Old 11-14-2010, 03:37 PM
 
Location: Southern California
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I've never had a reason not to accept an apology.
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Old 11-14-2010, 03:43 PM
 
1,571 posts, read 1,591,161 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MIKEETC View Post
I've never had a reason not to accept an apology.
I guess that's just you being more forgiving.

Some people just simply sometimes don't really care. In my example the kid should have known better. I think he was about to say more but I still shrugged it off and walked away leaving him in mid-sentence.

I wouldn't blame someone for not accepting an apology if I were mean. It would have been deserved. Why should someone be forced to always accept it?
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Old 11-14-2010, 03:51 PM
 
Location: Southern California
12,628 posts, read 9,568,650 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Sunflower_lol View Post
I guess that's just you being more forgiving. Some people just simply sometimes don't really care.
I guess I should amend my response by pointing out that I have rarely been wronged by the people who matter to me. And I minimize my exposure to mean and bad people so I never worry about whether an apology is genuine.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Sunflower_lol View Post
In my example the kid should have known better. I think he was about to say more but I still shrugged it off and walked away leaving him in mid-sentence.

I wouldn't blame someone for not accepting an apology if I were mean. It would have been deserved. Why should someone be forced to always accept it?
You should not. If the sincerity of the apology is suspect then I would simply shrug and walk away (which is what you did).
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Old 11-14-2010, 04:22 PM
 
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I think the OP has a screw loose. you're a grown adult, and you care about what happens in the 6th grade? I don't think I can remember back that far.
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Old 11-14-2010, 04:26 PM
 
1,571 posts, read 1,591,161 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MIKEETC View Post
You should not. If the sincerity of the apology is suspect then I would simply shrug and walk away (which is what you did).
Yeah there was no point anymore. It was annoying that he would bother apologizing and trying asking me to be his friend, initiating a conversation on the last day of school (6th grade graduation) right when we were never going to see each other again. Some of us moved to a different Middle school and after High school, went our separate ways. It was sooooo pointless and I didn't wanted to even look at him (was too hurt anyways).
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Old 11-14-2010, 04:28 PM
 
1,571 posts, read 1,591,161 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by samston View Post
I think the OP has a screw loose. you're a grown adult, and you care about what happens in the 6th grade? I don't think I can remember back that far.
I'm just giving an example. There was also another time I didn't accepted an apology from a man online. This was 6-7 months ago.
I'm trying to say that I won't always accept apologies, no matter how sincere they were. Sometimes it means nothing.
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