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My brother sure seems to think so. Every year he makes the holidays into a NIGHTMARE by putting pressure on me to attend this or that activity, get this or that gift, etc. He starts talking about what he's going to get me for Christmas IN OCTOBER (which only makes me think, oh, I guess I have to start buying gifts soon). It immediately puts a bad taste in my mouth about the holidays and I start DREADING the next 12 weeks.
He also uses the old "if you don't do it for youirself, do it for me and my children" excuse in order to get me to attend Christmas dinner at his house, or partake in whatever. Meanwhile my parents also do the same thing to me, the holidays being the "BEST THING IN THE WORLD" (???).
My wife is like me or worse, she can't stand the holidays and shuns all family activities.
I used to like the holidays OKAY, but now the only thing I think of when the holidays come around are:
1. Having to spend money I don't have on gifts, otherwise I feel guilty. I also resent having to spend money period (even if I did have it), as the whole thing has turned into a 2-month period of ugly consumerism at its worst. Makes me ILL.
2. Having to attend family gatherings (even though we see each other all the time thru the year) because if I don't go, X, Yor Z relative will be "offended and hurt." Why is me not attending Thanksgiving the end of the freaking world?
3. Incessant holiday advertisements pressuring me to spend money.
4. All of the above.
Seriously, it makes me want to be insitutionalized during the months of Nov and Dec. so that when I get out in January, it will all be over and the world will be normal again. Am I the only one who feels this way?
LOL, I'm the same way! I really don't like the holidays. This year is especially weighing on my nerves. Thanksgiving for example is going to be a rush job with people coming for a day and leaving immediately after dinner. It's like, why make go through the fuss of making a huge meal, spending the money to make the meal when no one is staying? The same with Christmas, I could take it or leave it. I have kids but they are adults now and they love getting cash or gift cards for Christmas... I see no reason to do much more than this. I didn't even put up a tree last year! LOL
ugh... yepper, I could leave the holidays behind and take a trip somewhere instead! LOL
Maybe all of us that detest the holidays should take a cruise instead.
The OP reminds me of my ex. He grumbled over the holidays, spewed I hate this and I hate that and made me miserable. The Nov. he abandoned me I spent Christmas alone in the house in the country we had just bought. I decorated inside and out and put up a big tree and listened to Xmas music. It was the best Christmas Id had in 10 yrs.
The holidays are what you make them. Turn off the TV and throw the flyers away. Gifts dont have to be expensive or even from the store or given at all. Enjoy your family, they wont be around forever.
No. Holidays are awesome. I always find things to do myself, which requires a bit of imagination and initiative, but I am never stuff for something to do.
The people who are at a loose end at holidays are usually feeble minded types who always need a daily schedule of activity (like work) all laid out for them to fit into to know where they are, and when that security and familiarity is gone, they become unmotivated losers who waste their time.
The OP reminds me of my ex. He grumbled over the holidays, spewed I hate this and I hate that and made me miserable. The Nov. he abandoned me I spent Christmas alone in the house in the country we had just bought. I decorated inside and out and put up a big tree and listened to Xmas music. It was the best Christmas Id had in 10 yrs.
I'm not sure, 2mares, but I think you mentioned you thought he was a narcissist... I may be wrong. In any event, they hate holidays (well, they hate anything that will bring joy to you) and manage to ruin every single one of them.
I'm not sure, 2mares, but I think you mentioned you thought he was a narcissist... I may be wrong. In any event, they hate holidays (well, they hate anything that will bring joy to you) and manage to ruin every single one of them.
That would be him (yep you know the type). No matter, my life is much happier without all the humbug negativity.
Now all I have to do is protect Pete until after Thanksgiving
and figure out where to put the tree. The house if full this year and I dont have any spare room.
People can only ruin your holidays if you let them. If I sense that there will be drama of any kind or that I would feel uncomfortable around anyone in any way, I just don't go. I'd rather volunteer, spend the day with people who don't cause problems, or simply enjoy a peaceful day alone. It's just not worth it. Life is too short to put up with b.s.
Well said!
Quote:
Originally Posted by n10036
I think what some of you are not understanding is that NOT GOING is NOT AN OPTION. Not going is actually worse than going. Not going basically makes me the black sheep of the family, and I get the most insane attitude and guilt trip and nasty comments from the rest of the family. NOT GIVING GIFTS is also not an option. God forbid that I don't give a gift to every little Johnny and Susie, and if my brother is talking in October about my gift, of course I have to reciprocate. Maybe what I should do, at least to remove this gift pressure, is to say to everyone I do not want any gifts. Then I don't have to buy gifts for them. Somehow I think they would ignore my wishes. And then what? I am there on Xmas w/out gifts, meanwhile they are giving me gifts!
Omg this is just the worst stress and pressure and bull EVER!
Every year my hatred of this escalates.
And you're going to "hate" yourself into a bloody great big heart attack if you don't take the advice of posters who've intelligently and thoughtfully suggested you do your own thing.
Quote:
Originally Posted by andreaspercheron
I didn't even put up a tree last year!
I've been separated from my family by many thousands of miles for many years. When I worked a regular 9-5 job and had a big house most conducive to entertaining I hosted big "tree-trimming" parties and Christmas dinners for a variety of old friends and acquaintances who were new on island and were missing the festivities they were used to. Always a great mix and a lot of fun.
Since I've owned and operated a pub I've done Christmas Eve or Christmas Day dinners when Christmas has fallen on days I'm open but lately have closed for Christmas week and, for the last two years, haven't put up any trees. However, this year I lucked into a Century Plant which is the traditional Caribbean Christmas tree. The agave cactus sprouts a huge stem only once every 10 years. It flowers and then slowly dies, leaving a beautiful husk behind. Years ago some friends who left island bequeathed me their tree but it blew away in Hurricane Marilyn in 1995. Most of the agaves grow on rather precipitous and arid cliff areas but, lo and behold, a few months ago, the two huge ones on the roadside across the street from me suddenly sprouted.
One night I saw the flashing blue lights of a police car, looked out of the window and saw that one of them which was very top-heavy had keeled over into the roadway. The police officers dragged it onto the side of the road and, the next day, a friend wielded a machete to lop it off and we dragged it across the street where I propped it up and it continues to dry out.
Yes! I will put up my traditional Christmas tree this year right after Thanksgiving. Spray painted with silver and decorated to the nines, it will not only remind me of the culture I've embraced for so many years but will remind me of the departed friends (one now passed and his wife with very advanced Alzheimer's) who gave me their special tree, and the parties which used to be.
Apologies for maybe being a bit long-winded but just thought I'd share. Cheers!
I'm going to let you off this time with a warning, ma'am.
Thanks Julia. I am still feeling the effects of the night time sinus medication and I've only had one cup of coffee.
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