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The guy I've been dating was sexually molested (several times) when he was a child (in the shower). Besides the fact that he refuses to ever take a shower with me (which I can easily overlook) he has extreme anxiety about anyone being in/using the same bathroom that he uses.
No one knows about this but me. Including any of his family members.
We do not live together yet but are currently entertaining the idea.
While I understand where the anxiety comes from I don't want to impose, ask too many questions, or make it seem like I'm forcing him to confront his past.
I know this is a very particular situation, but does anyone have any advice? Should I advise him to seek counseling?
The guy I've been dating was sexually molested (several times) when he was a child (in the shower). Besides the fact that he refuses to ever take a shower with me (which I can easily overlook) he has extreme anxiety about anyone being in/using the same bathroom that he uses.
No one knows about this but me. Including any of his family members.
We do not live together yet but are currently entertaining the idea.
While I understand where the anxiety comes from I don't want to impose, ask too many questions, or make it seem like I'm forcing him to confront his past.
I know this is a very particular situation, but does anyone have any advice? Should I advise him to seek counseling?
Im willing to bet he still has some issues from his childhood traumatic experiences. You may want to ask him what hes done to get over what occured to him . Theres some good online sources for this specific thing and one is www.newlife.com that has books, large healing gatherings in major cities, and call in services to their counsellors. I would stay away from cohabitation because it will cloud your minds on issues and people who do eventually get married that have cohabitated, run a higher risk of divorce.
It is quite an obstacle to overcome. But I have just as bad, if not worst, past experiences and he embraces and accepts all of my "baggage". So I think it's only fair that I give him the same consideration.
We don't intend to ever marry so were not worried about divorce
It is quite an obstacle to overcome. But I have just as bad, if not worst, past experiences and he embraces and accepts all of my "baggage". So I think it's only fair that I give him the same consideration.
We don't intend to ever marry so were not worried about divorce
Its ok to have mercy on his baggage, but, I think its important to weigh ALL OF THE BAGGAGE you both bring into the situation because if theres still some lingering issues that hasnt been dealt with , its going to play on your relationship . Some issues run REAL deep and can be problematic or even explosive. I think getting some free counselling for both of your baggage might be a good idea , and, free places would include calling in to www.newlife.com and/or a local church pastor whos got some training .
he has extreme anxiety about anyone being in/using the same bathroom that he uses.
I know this is a very particular situation, but does anyone have any advice? Should I advise him to seek counseling?
Find a living space with separate bathrooms.
No matter who you decide to spend your life with, they're going to have quirks for whatever reasons. The question is whether or not you can live with those quirks.
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