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I have a friend who's boyfriend's first priority was hunting. They got married. He continued to go hunting at all the designated times of the year. He missed his second childs birth. We all thought that it was appalling that he would actually still go when it was so close to her due date. Things continued on a decline, and today they are divorced. She "knew" it wasn't right from the beginning. To many women do not listen to their gut feeling! A good boyfriend/husband will put his wife first!!!!! My husband and I do not have a perfect relationship, we still disagree about things, but, what it comes down to is that we always have fun together, have the same values and shared interests, and he puts me number 1 on the list, and always has. Now, I waited til I was older to get married, because I had never had that experience until he came along. I didn't read your post word for word, but there seems to be many red flags in your relationship. I would never tell you what to do, just ask yourself, is this how I want to feel in my marriage? Being married will not magically change your relationship. It will actually be more stressful, and the two of you will need to pull together and work at it.
I think you know what you need to do, but want confirmation, which I will supply you. Yes, you should break off your engagement and get on with your life. As long as your wagon is hitched to this guy you won't have the life you desire. I know how hard it is to move on from a long term relationship, been there done that, but in the long run you will be much happier. My thoughts and prayers are with you.
I don't see why you have remained in this relationship in the first place.It seems as though you were more interested in his pursuit of you: buying you presents, cards, flowers, etc., and less about him as a person. People rarely change and what you see is what you get. Is this guy really a hunting fanatic at the neglect and demise of everything else in his life, or are you a bit needy and in need of your own social network and interests? Take your car to a mechanic and have it looked at. Stop waiting for him so that you can live your life. I don't understand that. I think you need a serious self-assessment. It also sounds like you keep going back not because you love him or who he is but because you don't want to be alone. I think being on your own would do you some good. Do not marry this guy. It doesn't sound like you're ready to marry at all, regardless of who the groom may be. Good luck
thanks for the replies everyone.... today was another bad day... Im suppose to pick him up at the airport but he called me again trying to start another arguement.... holidays are right around the corner and its going to be really really tough on me, but it'll make me a stronger person in the end... he's just not the fiance I want him to be... we both have our issues but its just not working... there are alot of red flags, and I am seeking confirmation on my decision... he's been away for 2 weeks and comes back today, and now that he is having his dad pick him up, Im not going to even bother trying to see him today... he knows where I live. If he's not there for me when I need him, why should I be there running to him?!! forget it, I'm independent and can do this... no matter how much its going to suck for a while!!! I'm not giving this ring back! I deserve it!
If you are arguing with the guy non-stop right now, what the heck do you think things will be like after the wedding?
Lots of people think that saying, "I do," is the finish line, like its some kind of Disney movie. Actually, the wedding ceremony is just the beginning. Upon returning from the honeymoon, you'll have to learn how to live together as husband and wife, spend money, do work together around the house, socialize with others, etc. etc. etc.
So if you're not getting along now, God help you if you decide to marry. Trust me on this.
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