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I'm seeing this too much, in which many people put all types of cheatings in one whole bag and judge them too harshly.
I think it should be separated. A drunken kiss/making out is obviously not the same as a ONS, drunken intercourse or full-blown affair where you shared your whole self with someone else.
Someone performing fellation on you (if you're a man) or cunnilingus (if you're a woman) would be less offensive than you performing it on them or actually having wild sex.
The point I'm trying to emphasize is not all levels of cheatings are the same nor would produce the same impact. So therefore, I don't see the point of placing them all together.
This is the similar to comparing a bank robbery to someone you just stole a pencil. That would be a lame comparison.
I think the levels of cheating should be more based on the situation the person is in rather then how they do it though. I have posted before on why my sister cheats on her husband and why i don't have issues with it. But one of my cousins does on his wife and i do have problems with it.
see i think this is where communication between a couple comes in.
personal boundries,
being honest
ect...
i dont think you could give cheating levels of severity because everyone is different...
to me a simple kiss is nothing im talking frinedly close friends no tounge...my frineds male and female, we all say our hellos and goodbyes with kisses and long embraces, were just lovey dovey...
so if im bringing a partner into that group i make sure they are comfortable with that level of intimacy.
i also have no problem with my male partner kissing someone of the same sex if they so wish lol...i kiss girls, he can kiss guys. that wouldnt be "cheating"
however making out with some other chick (i personally dont date people who got drunk enough to not be clear headed in any situation 1-2 beers or a couple shots is fine...but i dont find drunk people attractive in any way shape or form) and i mean making out...is a no no...those boundries would be inplace before hand and the fact my partner has disrespected those wishes is the actual issue, not the kissing itself.
and i personally find emotional affaires more damaging than physical ones...and both are break up worthy...
in my opinion, if a partner feels the need to cheat they are not in a healthy relationship, SOMETHING in that relationship is not working and the partner that cheats is clearly not happy/getting what they need.
and i dont want to be in an incomplete relationship...if i dont make my partner happy on all levels of need (physically and emotionally) then they need to tell me, we will see if its an issue that can be resolved (spicing things up in the bedroom, spending more one on one time, doing more date like things ect) if not, its time to end it because eventually you just make eachother miserable.
cheating is cheating when it comes down to it...
not because of the pjhysical or emotional act...but because of the breach in trust and respect that cheating involves.
OPEN relationships where both parties know about and are ok with either partner getting that additional emotional or sexual stimulation are however a completly different matter...not my cup of tea...but not cheating.
I'm seeing this too much, in which many people put all types of cheatings in one whole bag and judge them too harshly.
I think it should be separated. A drunken kiss/making out is obviously not the same as a ONS, drunken intercourse or full-blown affair where you shared your whole self with someone else.
Someone performing fellation on you (if you're a man) or cunnilingus (if you're a woman) would be less offensive than you performing it on them or actually having wild sex.
The point I'm trying to emphasize is not all levels of cheatings are the same nor would produce the same impact.
In your opinion.
Problem is, not everyone agrees with you. Other people have different thoughts and feelings than you do. Doesn't mean they're wrong! Cheating is' about feelings, not facts. So no one can really be right or wrong about whats cheating or what actions "should" hurt more or less.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sunflower_lol
This is the similar to comparing a bank robbery to someone you just stole a pencil. That would be a lame comparison.
No it's not, because it's about feelings, not the value of an item. So your comparison between steealing and cheating is a lame comparison.
edit: it's MORE like if someone stole your beloved deceased mother's ring vs stealing a ring from a store. Its worse to steal an item that has feelings attached to it. See what I mean?
For example: It would hurt me A LOT and be a WAY bigger deal if my husband had a drunken kiss with someone than if he had sex with them because I'm the only girl he's ever kissed and he hasn't drank since he was in high school and has really bad issues with his dad being an alcoholic. See how TO ME thats a bigger deal than it would be to other people?
And to someone else it could be a huge deal if he takes another girl to their spot but all they do is hold hands and talk. But that's their spot so it's gonna hurt more.
To a guy who loves Nascar and his girl can't stand it, if she were to go to a race with another dude and once again all they did was hold hands, that would hurt a lot more than it would to someone who doesn't like Nascar. Ya get me?
I'm seeing this too much, in which many people put all types of cheatings in one whole bag and judge them too harshly.
I think it should be separated. A drunken kiss/making out is obviously not the same as a ONS, drunken intercourse or full-blown affair where you shared your whole self with someone else.
Someone performing fellation on you (if you're a man) or cunnilingus (if you're a woman) would be less offensive than you performing it on them or actually having wild sex.
The point I'm trying to emphasize is not all levels of cheatings are the same nor would produce the same impact. So therefore, I don't see the point of placing them all together.
This is the similar to comparing a bank robbery to someone you just stole a pencil. That would be a lame comparison.
LOL.
OMG!! This is just too much. Now Ive heard/read it all. This is total ridiculousness.
I disagree with this. From the typical female perspective, yes. It's not the same from the typical male perspective. Most men don't want another man violating their "property," so to speak. The only time his feelings would be involved is if he somehow became emasculated.
Cheating is a violation of trust. It is up to the individual to decide how much of a violation is acceptable. I have concluded that any of the actions you describe is sufficient grounds for me to terminate a relationship.
Bingo. Without fail, I've always found that somebody who is willing to lie about the little things is ready to lie about the important things. Likewise, somebody who is willing to cheat a little is willing to cheat a lot. Once the threshold is crossed, it's just a question of opportunity
I'm seeing this too much, in which many people put all types of cheatings in one whole bag and judge them too harshly.
I think it should be separated. A drunken kiss/making out is obviously not the same as a ONS, drunken intercourse or full-blown affair where you shared your whole self with someone else.
Someone performing fellation on you (if you're a man) or cunnilingus (if you're a woman) would be less offensive than you performing it on them or actually having wild sex.
The point I'm trying to emphasize is not all levels of cheatings are the same nor would produce the same impact. So therefore, I don't see the point of placing them all together.
This is the similar to comparing a bank robbery to someone you just stole a pencil. That would be a lame comparison.
In my opinion, it has more to do with a double standard than the actual cheating. Even women are practicing a double standard in modern times without sufficient Cause. I can understand the frustration with male "superiority", but that does not mean women should emulate males' historical mistakes.
Those who are willing to excuse intimate betrayal at any level are those who most have the propensity to betray.
Is it "betrayal" if they bear true witness about it? In my opinion, being willing to communicate in a more honest manner instead of a less honest manner is what constitutes a difference.
In my opinion, it has more to do with a double standard than the actual cheating. Even women are practicing a double standard in modern times without sufficient Cause. I can understand the frustration with male "superiority", but that does not mean women should emulate males' historical mistakes.
Where in this post is a double standard statement included? If so, write it down and explain. I might be bias at times but (depends) but I'm always trying to be fair mainly, most of the times.
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