Meetup.com seems to not be the best way to find a date (dating, wives) - Dating, marriage, boyfriends, girlfriends, men, women, friends, attraction ... - City-Data Forum

stepka · 11-20-2010, 04:52 PM

though I'm not really looking to date right now anyway--gotta get the divorce out of the way. But after going to several and listening to the conversation, I've come to the conclusion that it has all the same pitfalls as meeting someone at work or church or other "closed" societies--that is, you go in and meet a circle of friends and then you meet someone you want to date, but maybe he's been dating so-and-so and it's on its way out, but she's not happy about that. Or a lady was telling about her so called date who asked her to keep the relationship secret b/c the group was too gossipy, but then she found out that he was really pursuing someone else and was just using her for someone to date while he was actually wanting the other lady. Also, even in the outdoor sports ones, it seems to be a ratio of about 80% women--great for the men, but us women are just meeting women friends, which is fine for me right now--I needed a better social life and I'm really enjoying these people.

So I'm just curious--has anyone here met a partner thru meetup.com?

imsh0t · 11-20-2010, 10:33 PM

well never used it, but more friends = bigger social network, still should lead to meeting more guys eventually through friends perhaps.

Gilgamesh8 · 11-21-2010, 10:23 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by stepka

Also, even in the outdoor sports ones, it seems to be a ratio of about 80% women

WOW! Really? I'm signing up today in that case. LOL!

sierraAZ · 11-21-2010, 10:29 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by stepka

though I'm not really looking to date right now anyway--gotta get the divorce out of the way. But after going to several and listening to the conversation, I've come to the conclusion that it has all the same pitfalls as meeting someone at work or church or other "closed" societies

You're right. It's not unlike dating a coworker, of course sans more unfortunate consequences. If you really like the group and want to continue being with everybody, breaking up even with one person can introduce tension into the peaceful situation, and one or the other will have to give up the group.

jasper12 · 11-21-2010, 11:32 AM

I am not looking to date, so I go to meetup groups for socializing...not really into dating. I am not even sure where I would meet someone to date at this point in my life. I won't do internet dating, too shallow for me, I guess I will just content myself with going to yoga every day. No more men. Done. Alone for life.

doss1 · 11-21-2010, 11:41 AM

Actually, you'd be surprised at how common dating through match.com, meetup, etc are in this day and age. In my office, there are about 2 people (out of 10 married folks) that met their wives/husbands from an online dating site. More and more people are using it and it's nothing to be ashamed of.

I tried it once and got good results. With the explosion of Facebook, it's even easier.

sierraAZ · 11-21-2010, 12:13 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TexasNick

Actually, you'd be surprised at how common dating through match.com, meetup, etc are in this day and age. In my office, there are about 2 people (out of 10 married folks) that met their wives/husbands from an online dating site. More and more people are using it and it's nothing to be ashamed of.

I tried it once and got good results. With the explosion of Facebook, it's even easier.

FYI - meetup is not a dating site.

the minx · 11-21-2010, 01:44 PM

One of my old friends met her now-husband through a meetup group.

stepka · 11-21-2010, 01:59 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by victorhe33

well never used it, but more friends = bigger social network, still should lead to meeting more guys eventually through friends perhaps.

Sure and that's what I'm thinking. I was talking to a lady yesterday who is wanting to meet men, and so we're going to go party some time--my problem with my social life is that I know people thru work and church and have happily married friends, but not really anyone I could call to go hear music with me on a Saturday night so that I'm not sitting at a bar alone--this will help.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Gilgamesh8

WOW! Really? I'm signing up today in that case. LOL!

Well c'mon then! If you join the knitting group you should have a lot of luck. Results may vary from city to city.

Quote:

Originally Posted by sierraAZ

FYI - meetup is not a dating site.

Well, you're right, not per se, but I've seen a lot of people on here recommending it to people who are looking to date. Still, agree with victorhe33 above--expanding the social network is the way to go, and then even if you don't get a date, at least you're not sitting home alone.

A funny though--I got a text from a young man asking me to the movies last night--he's an organizer for one of the meetup groups. He's probably 15-20 years younger and I didn't know how to respond b/c I didn't know if it was a last minute meetup, a date, or a case of mistaken identity. I decided to go with the flow and just say yes w/o asking ???, but then I didn't hear from him again so I figured that he must have discovered his mistake. Lesson to young men--call her, don't text her for a date, or you don't know who might show up!

sierraAZ · 11-21-2010, 02:12 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by stepka

Well, you're right, not per se, but I've seen a lot of people on here recommending it to people who are looking to date.

It certainly IS a way of meeting new people you won't meet otherwise. A coworker of mine also met her current BF in some meetup group. It can work, of course; it only has the pitfalls you and I already mentioned.