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Old 11-21-2010, 07:13 AM
 
1,561 posts, read 1,116,772 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Neemy View Post
...

Because she asked for 4 things, and all those things are part of the whole "confidence" package. Just playing by the rules.
Ah, the "confidence package"! Well.. what makes up the whole? Is it some form of omnipotence and omniscience?

Sounds like a Topic for a thread. "What you mean when you say a man is confident."
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Old 11-21-2010, 07:15 AM
 
Location: Hawaii
2,058 posts, read 1,766,382 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MattB4 View Post
Generic term in usage. Used without thought what you mean by it. It is like saying somone must be desirable. True, but lacking any parameters. For instance a guy can have easy confidence to approach you. That helps you since it does not require you to approach them. However that confident in approaching guy is scared to death of elevators. Maybe the guy is confident about jumping off tall buildings and insists you join him. What does confidence mean?

Too many ladies toss the term about without explaining what it means to them. I think for those ladies it simply is a guy that takes charge. Not necessarily good if you dislike control freaks.
Ok, what it means to me is:

- Being assertive in decision-making. I DO NOT mean taking charge. I mean that I dont want him to immediately give in or just go along with what I or other people want.
-Not shy.
-Knows himself (his goals, strengths and weaknesses) and is not afraid to be who he is.
-Not afraid to try new things or take chances in life (but of course not chances like "I wonder if I'll die if I jump off this tall building" obviously)
-Not over-thinking every single little thing in social situations
-Not needing approval from people who don't matter in his life

All of that is confidence to me, but that seems like a lot more than 4!
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Old 11-21-2010, 07:40 AM
 
Location: Austin
2,068 posts, read 1,322,135 times
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A man with confidence is comfortable with himself. He doesn't brag, seek to be the center of attention or need anyone to stroke his ego for self-worth. Men with self-confidence have a quiet, inner-strength that everyone recognizes when they see it, other men and women.

Last edited by texan2yankee; 11-21-2010 at 07:51 AM..
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Old 11-21-2010, 07:47 AM
 
1,561 posts, read 1,116,772 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by thatsong64 View Post
Ok, what it means to me is:

- Being assertive in decision-making. I DO NOT mean taking charge. I mean that I dont want him to immediately give in or just go along with what I or other people want.
-Not shy.
-Knows himself (his goals, strengths and weaknesses) and is not afraid to be who he is.
-Not afraid to try new things or take chances in life (but of course not chances like "I wonder if I'll die if I jump off this tall building" obviously)
-Not over-thinking every single little thing in social situations
-Not needing approval from people who don't matter in his life

All of that is confidence to me, but that seems like a lot more than 4!
Sounds fair. Though your last one may make it difficult to add a new girlfriend. After all, until she matters, she does not matter. Now theres an approach line: "Would you like to go out for a coffee sometime, not that I give a flip what you think about it?"
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Old 11-21-2010, 07:54 AM
 
116 posts, read 86,041 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Soda120 View Post
Sexy: self-confident...

Undesirable: arrogant...
The difference between these is contingent on a girl’s level of interest. Same with “charismatic” and “creepy.”
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Old 11-21-2010, 07:56 AM
 
18,868 posts, read 14,998,382 times
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Sexy:
1. Clean
2. Confident
3. Thoughtful
4. Employed

Not Sexy
1. Anger management problems
2. Bad hygiene
3. Cheap
4. Racist
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Old 11-21-2010, 11:49 AM
 
8,681 posts, read 7,443,951 times
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Too bad it would be against TOS to list the fellas who appear to have the qualities, because I could think of four to adore and four to abhor right off the top of my head.

However, qualities it is.

Attractive

Intelligence--He's quick on the uptake, has a good memory, makes astute observations, and has good judgment when it comes to people and situations (including knowing when it's okay to be a goofball).

Self-possession--He's comfortable in his skin, doesn't have to try to impress anyone, and knows his own strengths and weaknesses.

Integrity--He does the right thing, even if it's an inconvenience or means he owes someone an apology.

Good grooming and healthy lifestyle--Because this sounds better than "clean teeth and a nice arse."

Unattractive

Misogyny--He's bitter over past relationships, quick to categorize women as this or that, resentful of women who don't fit into his pre-fab definition of what women "should" be, easily threatened by women's sexuality, or has a madonna-ho(e) complex.

Immaturity--He's selfish, sweats the small stuff, doesn't own his mistakes or apologize for them, and lashes out when held accountable for his actions.

Puffery--He's pretentious and expects everyone to be oh, SO impressed with his ability to wax stentorian from the mount about every topic under the sun because he's just SO brilliant and worldly, and we should all be SO lucky as to bask in the reflected glow of his sterling character, razor-sharp wit, and dashing good looks and charm.

Boorishness--He ain't got no effin' manners and don't effin' talk right.
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Old 11-21-2010, 11:54 AM
 
1,561 posts, read 1,116,772 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Avienne View Post
...
Puffery--He's pretentious and expects everyone to be oh, SO impressed with his ability to wax stentorian from the mount about every topic under the sun because he's just SO brilliant and worldly, and we should all be SO lucky as to bask in the reflected glow of his sterling character, razor-sharp wit, and dashing good looks and charm.

...
Would a sincere apology help?
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Old 11-21-2010, 11:59 AM
 
8,681 posts, read 7,443,951 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MattB4 View Post
Would a sincere apology help?
LOL! I wasn't thinking of you with that, Matt.
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Old 11-21-2010, 12:06 PM
 
1,561 posts, read 1,116,772 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Avienne View Post
LOL! I wasn't thinking of you with that, Matt.
Sterling character - besmirched, razor-sharp wit - dulled, and dashing good looks - gone dashing away and charm - of a snake. Oh well, at least I still have my wordiness, oops... worldliness to keep me going.
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