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Growing up, being the oldest, I got the harshest discplince. When my dad was home from work, he was emotionally unavailable. I couldn't relate to him. Whenever there was a squabble between me and my siblings, I'd would get the blame for it even if I didn't start it. My dad never hugged me growing up.
Growing up, My mom would bring up her childhood drama and tell me how good I have it. Teenage years were rocky with her. For a long while, she would accuse me of things I didn't do. Like my dad, she would treat it as if it was my fault if there was a squabble between me and my siblings. She hugged me when I was little then as I got older I was mad and wouldn't hug her. To this day, I still don't and hate hugging women in general.
I was always treated as "different" from younger siblings due to my disability. My parents made me feel like I couldn't do anything or overprotected me for fear I would get hurt or taken advantage of due to my disability. They didn't encourage/push me to grow to put it that way.
My dad left most of the parenting to my mom and I would get yelled at about anything and everything, even over small things.
I think it might be a "flight or fight" response when I bring up my drama issues because I felt like I could never voice my opinion on what I wanted to do or if something went on like a squabble. I hate it cause it has ruined some friendships. Then in my early adult years, 20's I lived in fear, bottled everything up and isolated myself for the most part
This is brilliant, actually. I used to be a drama-seeker and finally read a book one day that made me realize that's what I was/what I was doing. I too had an "ignore her unless it's something dire, then come down on her with an explosion of hysteria" thing. It lowers your threshold for feeling things, so you "need" high drama, even negative drama (in fact, that's often more effective for this purpose), in order to feel "alive."
I`m happy to hear that you have finally felt you have found the root to your problems, but I`m sure life was not a picnic for alot of people growing up. Although its tough, we cannot always look for a crutch as to "why we are the way we are today because..."
We eventually grow up, and learn to look inside of ourselves to find that positive person.
Have you talked to your parents about how you feel today?
Katie, My wife came from a broken home with an abusive mother and I've seen how she's adjusted over the years. She still lives with the problems developed as a kid but emotionally she has done well for herself. She's been successful and raised 2 great boys.
You might need some help in the future to repair your mental health. But most importantly, you can't pick your 1st family but you can pick your friends and your 2nd family. That's where you'll be the rest of your life so choose wisely and try to leave and not repeat any abuse on you or your future family.
Don't make the same mistakes your parents made. Be better then them.
Growing up, being the oldest, I got the harshest discplince. When my dad was home from work, he was emotionally unavailable. I couldn't relate to him. Whenever there was a squabble between me and my siblings, I'd would get the blame for it even if I didn't start it. My dad never hugged me growing up.
Growing up, My mom would bring up her childhood drama and tell me how good I have it. Teenage years were rocky with her. For a long while, she would accuse me of things I didn't do. Like my dad, she would treat it as if it was my fault if there was a squabble between me and my siblings. She hugged me when I was little then as I got older I was mad and wouldn't hug her. To this day, I still don't and hate hugging women in general.
I was always treated as "different" from younger siblings due to my disability. My parents made me feel like I couldn't do anything or overprotected me for fear I would get hurt or taken advantage of due to my disability. They didn't encourage/push me to grow to put it that way.
My dad left most of the parenting to my mom and I would get yelled at about anything and everything, even over small things.
I think it might be a "flight or fight" response when I bring up my drama issues because I felt like I could never voice my opinion on what I wanted to do or if something went on like a squabble. I hate it cause it has ruined some friendships. Then in my early adult years, 20's I lived in fear, bottled everything up and isolated myself for the most part
Well the fact you recognize it is a good start towards in a path to changing. Have you considered perhaps finding a group of people who had issues like this growing up? Talking and letting things out can really help you.
I`m happy to hear that you have finally felt you have found the root to your problems, but I`m sure life was not a picnic for alot of people growing up. Although its tough, we cannot always look for a crutch as to "why we are the way we are today because..."
We eventually grow up, and learn to look inside of ourselves to find that positive person.
Have you talked to your parents about how you feel today?
My dad and me get along alright and sometimes makes me feel like I can't do this or that. I don't know why. Then when I voice my opinion, my mom gets mad at me about it
I try to discuss it with my mom and she just gets mad like nothing is her fault, still occasionally brings up her childhood drama or say stuff that brings me down emotionally. She doesn't really bother to listen to what I have to say. What ticks me off I've noticed over the past few years she'll judge how other people choose their life even after I tell her I don't want to hear it. She also brings up other people's drama issues, mostly family that I don't care to hear.
Well the fact you recognize it is a good start towards in a path to changing. Have you considered perhaps finding a group of people who had issues like this growing up? Talking and letting things out can really help you.
I think there's a Church nearby where I live that have like a healing group
I try to discuss it with my mom and she just gets mad like nothing is her fault, still occasionally brings up her childhood drama or say stuff that brings me down emotionally. She doesn't really bother to listen to what I have to say.
OK.. You need to take a good, hard look in the mirror. If you don`t stop, your gonna be just like your mom when you get her age.
I`m glad that you can see this behaviour, now. Maybe you can change it, and be happy!
Katie i am very happy to hear that you made some realizations about yourself. Now that you know you can finally take steps to solve the root of the problem rather then just the symptoms. Your mother is probably a bad influence so minimal contact with her.
I was always treated as "different" from younger siblings due to my disability. My parents made me feel like I couldn't do anything or overprotected me for fear I would get hurt or taken advantage of due to my disability. They didn't encourage/push me to grow to put it that way.
What disability?
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