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What is your opinion on taking a break and time for yourself between relationships? What do you usually do? Did you find this changing as you age?
After my marriage, I took a year and 3 months before getting into a non-exclusive relationship. I didn't get into a committed relationship until 6 months later. That one ended this past February, and I'm not ready for a new relationship, yet. None of this was planned, I just did what felt right when I was ready. I can't say if it changed as I aged, since I've spent most of my adult life married. I'm 40, now, divorced at 36.
I've been with my SO 18 yrs now..... It would be weird to be single again. I do better when I'm with someone. I think though if we were to ever split. I think I would be single for a while. Just try to get the head clear.......
There's no one answer. It depends on too many factors, ranging from your personality to the nature of the last relationship and breakup (which may or many not require healing time). It also depends on other goals that may cause you to delay another relationship.
So, as long as you want, until YOU are ready to try again.
It's been 3 1/2 years since I'm officially divorced and almost 4 1/2 since separated. I should mention this divorce was quite devastating to me. I've made a few attempts in the meantime (not actively seeking, though), but nothing worthwhile came out of them. I don't know if I'm ready... don't know if I'll ever be ready... However, that's one of the things similar to having children - you're never ready until you just go ahead and do it. This is the biggest record in my life and counting. May keep counting till the cows come home... I'm one of those "all or nothing" people and there are no practical reasons for me to just be in some/any relationship at this point in my life, so unless lightning strikes, chances are things will not change.
everyone is sooo different...and every relationship is different too.
personally i got out of a 5yr long relationship october of 2009 and still dont realy feel like entering another relationship yet even over a year out...
before that relationship however i had a 2 year long relationship and started dating about 6 months after we broke up...
seems like the better question is how little time between relationships is a bad idea? i think it is proportionate to the amount of time you were in a committed relationship. for me, anyway. if you were with someone only a few months, there probably isn't going to be too much fallout from getting back on the horse pretty quickly. but i always looked askance at my friends who would be in a long term relationship, it would end, and they would be looking for someone immediately. that doesn't feel healthy to me. i don't care who you are, tread lightly and make sure whatever relationship you enter into is for the right reasons, and with a clear head.
^ I agree, rebound relationships tend to go badly since there's not enough thought and its all desperation. Its important to be "over" the ex before dating. Otherwise you have too much emotional baggage. Gotta be happy single first.
I think I am in a strange situation. I believe that I was over the person before I finally ended it. I used to get down about breakups but this incident of finalization actually made me feel refreshed. But I did not think I would feel this way leading up to the break-up. I felt like I should stick it out because of the length and seriousness of the relationship.
Its just such a different feeling because of the change. I thought it was going to require more time. I agree that there is no exact formula, timeline and every relationship is different. But the level of difference is great in this one compared to the past. I can actually see a difference in my face. I appear a lot less stressed and tired. When in the past break-up had the opposite effect.
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