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my husband and i were out clubbing w/ 2 other guys on st. Patty's at just regular clubs. Ended up at a strip club, i'd never been to one. I thought there were dancers on the stage? But there were none at this time, only the lap dancers.
Now this is not a skeezy club, it is las vegas tho. I thought lap dances at this club had a no touch policy.
Well we're sitting there drinking, all of a sudden i look over and here's my husband getting a fully naked lap dance right in front of me! He did not ask me, said nothing, just all doing their thing. I was furious.
Then he tries to blame it on me! He said he wanted the girl to dance on me, which was of course a total lie. A while later, i look over again, after i said my disgust and he's getting a 2nd one!
Now this was full touching, kissing, lips on her chest, hands all over her. Then she sat and talked to me for a while, not lap dancing, the whole time she's sitting there, he is rubbing her chest, thighs, hair, legs, you name it. I can't get the image out of my head.
Do you think this is cheating??? I do and i'm ready to get a divorce over it. And no, he was not trying to get me a dance b/c if that was true, why did he pay for the 2nd one???
This was all right in front of me, he thinks it's funny, i'm heartbroken and just disgusted. He didn't even ask me, nothing, i was sitting right there. Please tell me if you think this is correct behavior for a married man in front of his wife? B/c i don't want to be dramatic getting a divorce, but this was pretty much the last of many straws!
omg i cant beleive he did that in front of you like you werent even there no respect. Your better than me girl that hoe would have been ripped right off him and he would have had his drink in his face and been kicked between his legs...leave his ass he cant even be trusted in front of you.
is he rubbing his junk in her face and.or dry humping her?...specifically is he getting her off by stimulating her thru her clothing?
I have seen enough men dry humped by lap dances and they 'let go' ...
2 different animals
Poor guy if he can't make it through a 5 min dry hump, I am sure he would not make it more than 30 seconds full contact.
Are you serious guys actually.... uh uh well from a lap dance?
No, it is not cheating. It is very healthy. In fact it could strengthen your relationship. Both men & women need variety in sex, at least in their imaginations, and it is better to enjoy a simple desire than to attempt to stifle it, if the desire is there. If you think getting a lap dance, or looking at porn, or even small things like him talking to or thinking about other women is cheating, then there's some definite self esteem issues at work, and these should be worked through ASAP. They are dangerous emotions and have no place in a relationship. Only someone who doesn't feel so good about themselves would be so insecure to believe that any petty interaction with another woman will damage the one she has with her man (Yes, even including a lap dance, which is a small interaction compared to love for a girlfriend or love for a wife).
If your man loves you (that means loyalty and dedication, and love from the heart) then it doesn't matter if he even has sex with someone else: he will still come back because he loves you. Sex is not love, so don't confuse them as such. (Of course sex is better with love, though that does not mean they always go hand in hand, and it is fun to have sex without love, just for the pleasure of the sex.)
So if your man goes & gets a lap dance, or even a "full service massage" from a woman (assuming it is always "safe behavior") then you should feel happy about this, because he has found a healthy outlet for the powerful sexual desire which requires variety, and he will still come back to you when he is finished, because obviously he loves you more than the other woman. (Unless of course, if you're not a pleasant or enjoyable person in his life, in which case it will cause him to question his love and dedication for you... and maybe THAT is your real fear!)
A few years ago my roommate was a stripper. I went to the club with her some just to get out and I never saw the girls leaving with men. This one girl was paying her way through medical school and was married. Another girl had a young son and just wanted to make money for him. One lady was married with two kids and one has some major medical problems she was making extra cash to help pay for the nurses and medical supplies for him. So some of these women honestly just are trying to make money not to have sex with men. The ladies I knew were married or a lesbian with their partners there the whole time!
Let me ask you this: Is it cheating if a woman in the same situation goes to Chippendales and stuffs dollar bills into the g-string of some muscular, oily, hunk?
Of course not, been there done that! Women need to have fun too!
If I guy is dating someone exclusively or married, is it ok for him to go to a strip club and get a lap dance?
My attitude is that if he'd have that lap dance in front of his wife or feel confident that he could be upfront about it with her and she wouldn't feel hurt or disrespected, then it's not cheating.
If, on the other hand, he does it "on the sly" and "keeps it a secret" because he knows that she'd feel hurt/betrayed, etc., then it IS cheating.
A committed couple should behave in a way -- together and while they are apart -- that would preserve each other's dignity and be respectful of one another's feelings. That seems very simple and straightforward to me.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Blondie621 Most women do not realize that men are safer in a go go bar with dancers than a regular bar! No one is leaving with a dancer.......unless there is some hanky panky going on.
Quote:
Originally Posted by killer2021
No one is leaving with a dancer? You sure about that? Most of these girls are prostitutes on the side. I know this because they've tried to sell their services to me. I NEVER pay for sex in any shape or form so I always decline but a desperate guy will pay and I've seen it happen.
If you could hear what they say about you in the change room...........
on second thought, you get a lot of those comments here!
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