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I hate to break to some, but most people, at some point in their marriage, will lust after someone else. It's just how human's are wired.
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I hate to break to some, but most people, at some point in their marriage, will lust after someone else. It's just how human's are wired.
I always roll my eyes out of my head when enevitiably some polyanna will say that they just don't see other men because of their husband.
Usually it's women being the polyanna, but not always, either way I'm like give me a break already.
Lap dances I suppose to some are cheating. I was never into strip joints and lap dances and all of that, I was bored, I'd rather go to a club or bar or somewhere where the women who did interact with me actually wanted to and I didn't have to pay them for their time.
Absolutely! Without a doubt... as is going to a club to get aroused, looking at porn, thinking about someone else when you are having sex.... even if it is with yourself! As is sharing confidence with anyone other than your spouse.. i.e. phone sex, cyber sex, having long lunches with someone of the oppisite sex that you are attracted to at work... I would even go as far as to say flirting with the intent to get someone interested in you is cheating.
Although I would agree that going to get a lapdance would be cheating, is looking at porn cheating? I mean you are looking at someone who is not even in the same room as you, compared to a lapdance, unless I am wrong and looking at it is still cheating?
I always roll my eyes out of my head when enevitiably some polyanna will say that they just don't see other men because of their husband.
Usually it's women being the polyanna, but not always, either way I'm like give me a break already.
Lap dances I suppose to some are cheating. I was never into strip joints and lap dances and all of that, I was bored, I'd rather go to a club or bar or somewhere where the women who did interact with me actually wanted to and I didn't have to pay them for their time.
I'm funny that way.
I'm disappointed. I am certainly no pollyanna.
But I'm not wired to cheat, and both of my husbands seem(ed) to realize that.
Mainly because I don't become attracted to looks only. I can look at a guy and be like "oh heck YEAH", but even when I'm single my brain is "don't open your mouth you'll just ruin it."
And I'm smart enough that when, say at work, I start thinking some guy is really all that, looks, brains, sense of humor, I cut that line right away and just cut interactions.
When we went out with the strippers, the good looking lead guy, was arrogant, instant turn off, his younger brother had a great personality, but I didn't find him attractive. A perfectly safe environment. IF the good looking one had the others personality and I found myself attracted? I probably would have called it a night and went home, because that would have been a situation asking for trouble.
If you consider that a pollyanna, I guess I'm good with that.
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But I'm not wired to cheat, and both of my husbands seem(ed) to realize that.
Mainly because I don't become attracted to looks only. I can look at a guy and be like "oh heck YEAH", but even when I'm single my brain is "don't open your mouth you'll just ruin it."
And I'm smart enough that when, say at work, I start thinking some guy is really all that, looks, brains, sense of humor, I cut that line right away and just cut interactions.
When we went out with the strippers, the good looking lead guy, was arrogant, instant turn off, his younger brother had a great personality, but I didn't find him attractive. A perfectly safe environment. IF the good looking one had the others personality and I found myself attracted? I probably would have called it a night and went home, because that would have been a situation asking for trouble.
If you consider that a pollyanna, I guess I'm good with that.
No, that's different, you at least acknowledge that attractive men exist.
IMO it’s one thing to get a lap dance with minimal contact it’s another to go to the Florida ones with the boom boom room. What people do in their is borderline prostitution.
IMO it’s one thing to get a lap dance with minimal contact it’s another to go to the Florida ones with the boom boom room. What people do in their is borderline prostitution.
There ARE differences, even here we have to ones where it is known "no touchy", and others where the Champagne Room is not just serving the bubbly.
It's not like the idea of a lap dance thrills me and I would high five my husband as he came through the door covered in glitter. The last time he went was for his bachelor party, so it doesn't come up much.
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I have gone to strip clubs with boyfriends or dates. I didnt feel the hint of jealousy at them ogling women or even getting lap dances. A boyfriend calling an ex or spending time on the phone with another woman or taking someone on a date I would consider cheating. But not a strip club. If he is spending days there without me blowing money then ...yes! If he goes with me I dont mind.
Is it just me, or why don't other people consider strip clubs to be a big tease? I mean you are not getting anything but a look, and don't touch situation. I can't believe people even go to those places since they just lead to sexual frustration, at least in my perception.
No, that's different, you at least acknowledge that attractive men exist.
I think I can be insufferably Pollyanna-ish in a variety of ways, but I'm ok with it. I really am overwhelmingly optimistic most of the time about most of the things.
And certainly I have some kind of a mechanism where I don't feel tempted when I'm in what I call "taken mode." It's hard to explain, it's like a switch, really. Either I am "available" or I am not. In fact if I am in a relationship and I experience a strong level of temptation, it's usually a serious signal that I am ready to be OUT of the relationship and I need to break it off before I behave against my own ethics. And during my poly-time when I did not have to stop seeking and dating new people, I had the freedom to do as much as I pleased, but once I met Himself, my Zen, the one who really was a great fit for my needs, and vice versa...that was when I stopped feeling "available" to new connections. And my level of interest in my existing ones started to slowly wane as well, until I truly saw them more as friends.
I find it a bit interesting I guess because most folks don't get to live a while like an experiment in taking away the standard rules of operation...if you are free to do whatever, then what do you choose to do?
But I also have learned to experience all the excitement of a new connection with someone with none of the sexual part of it. A great conversation is far more stimulating to me than mediocre sex, and almost all of the men I've been with only had that much to offer, so I assume most men cannot do better that "mediocre" by my standards...so when I have a partner who is exactly what I need in that department... No, I experience no temptation whatsoever.
So I can observe that a person is good looking, or a delightful wit, or what have you...but that doesn't mean I'm experiencing attraction to them. And the way I operate, my interest in them will be a flash in the pan and then I'll move on, because I've got like a few billion more humans to make friends with, so...
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