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I think I can be insufferably Pollyanna-ish in a variety of ways, but I'm ok with it. I really am overwhelmingly optimistic most of the time about most of the things.
And certainly I have some kind of a mechanism where I don't feel tempted when I'm in what I call "taken mode." It's hard to explain, it's like a switch, really. Either I am "available" or I am not. In fact if I am in a relationship and I experience a strong level of temptation, it's usually a serious signal that I am ready to be OUT of the relationship and I need to break it off before I behave against my own ethics. And during my poly-time when I did not have to stop seeking and dating new people, I had the freedom to do as much as I pleased, but once I met Himself, my Zen, the one who really was a great fit for my needs, and vice versa...that was when I stopped feeling "available" to new connections. And my level of interest in my existing ones started to slowly wane as well, until I truly saw them more as friends.
I find it a bit interesting I guess because most folks don't get to live a while like an experiment in taking away the standard rules of operation...if you are free to do whatever, then what do you choose to do?
But I also have learned to experience all the excitement of a new connection with someone with none of the sexual part of it. A great conversation is far more stimulating to me than mediocre sex, and almost all of the men I've been with only had that much to offer, so I assume most men cannot do better that "mediocre" by my standards...so when I have a partner who is exactly what I need in that department... No, I experience no temptation whatsoever.
So I can observe that a person is good looking, or a delightful wit, or what have you...but that doesn't mean I'm experiencing attraction to them. And the way I operate, my interest in them will be a flash in the pan and then I'll move on, because I've got like a few billion more humans to make friends with, so...
You're not Pollyanna in the way I was using it. Women who are married but act like since they are they act like they never see attractive men, lol, give a break. Mrs chow openly tells me she sees good looking men. Just cause your coupled up doesn't mean you lose your eyesight.
No woman wants her man paying to get grinded on by a stripper.
My previous two GFs didn't mind.... My wife didn't mind but it really isn't "her scene".
There are at least two posters here that live a lifestyle that might be unfamiliar to others here.... but I assure you it isn't unique in the population. The couple defines what is acceptable (and not).
I assure you if I defined what is acceptable or not acceptable in a relationship for you, you wouldn't be happy with that either.
I think that is the crux of the issue here.... assumptions.
My previous two GFs didn't mind.... My wife didn't mind but it really isn't "her scene".
That's what they said, and we all know women never lie to make their husband happy.
Trust me, they didn't like it and probably did something simliar behind your back or made you pay in another way by asking for an expensive gift.
Quote:
Originally Posted by SWFL_Native
IMO it’s one thing to get a lap dance with minimal contact it’s another to go to the Florida ones with the boom boom room. What people do in their is borderline prostitution.
I've been to plenty of strip club "boom boom rooms" and I assure you there is no "borderline prostitution" going on in there. You'll either be greeted with a nice big camera in the room or the room will have such a massive opening or cheap curtain that anyone walking past it can see anything.
Now Asian massage parlors in major cities, that's another story.
That's what they said, and we all know women never lie to make their husband happy.
Trust me, they didn't like it and probably did something simliar behind your back or made you pay in another way by asking for an expensive gift.
If you look my posting history and those that recognize my username in this subforum, would know that this is not true in my case. I am not the only one..... you cannot possible know everyone.... certainly not their relationships.
hint:
My past relationships were open, so getting a lapdance is quite tame from our view(s)
Quote:
I've been to plenty of strip club "boom boom rooms" and I assure you there is no "borderline prostitution" going on in there. You'll either be greeted with a nice big camera in the room or the room will have such a massive opening or cheap curtain that anyone walking past it can see anything.
Now Asian massage parlors in major cities, that's another story.
"boom boom" rooms, as you put it, certainly do exist in certain (usually low level) establishments. I actually know a few in my area. Of course, not universal in all clubs.
That's what they said, and we all know women never lie to make their husband happy.
Trust me, they didn't like it and probably did something simliar behind your back or made you pay in another way by asking for an expensive gift.
I've been to plenty of strip club "boom boom rooms" and I assure you there is no "borderline prostitution" going on in there. You'll either be greeted with a nice big camera in the room or the room will have such a massive opening or cheap curtain that anyone walking past it can see anything.
Now Asian massage parlors in major cities, that's another story.
Go to Tootsies in Miami or Mons Venus in Tampa. Pay the extra fee for the boom boom room and then give an extra tip to the dancer. Report back in what is on and what is off the menu.
If you're looking for sexual gratification from somebody else while you're in an exclusive relationship with somebody, there is something very wrong with your behaviour.
This is a debate that I’ve had with several men in the past and I’m curious to hear what all of you have to say…If I guy is dating someone exclusively or married, is it ok for him to go to a strip club and get a lap dance? For those of you who have not been to a strip club, not only does a lap dance consist of a naked woman gyrating in front of the guy but they often touch the guy all over and the guy can often touch/lick/fondle the girl, as well.
And how do you feel about bachelor parties? If the groom’s friends get him strippers and they are naked, grinding on him, touching, etc. is this ok?
I would prefer that guys didn’t go to strip clubs if I’m dating them but if they do, I would only want them to look and not touch and not get touched in any way because I do consider that cheating. What do you think?
Guys fantasizing in strip clubs is cheating. Attention of this sort should be for your spouse.
I don't think it's cheating. I've gotten lap dances before, too. I used to go to the strip club with one of my exes, and we'd both get them. It was fun. No big deal in my opinion. I wouldn't care if a boyfriend of mine got one here and there at a bachelor party or whatever. Long as he wasn't being weird or sneaky about it.
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