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Old 07-11-2007, 09:09 PM
 
Location: Twin Cities
3,570 posts, read 7,932,066 times
Reputation: 5985

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At work today a co-worker told me that she hates being called "Mrs." I asked her why and she replied she is her own person and is not "owned" by any man. She told me she'd rather be called Ms. than Mrs. And why do women have three options? Miss, Ms. and Mrs...or worse yet even, Ma'am! Ma'am is some old woman.

Now men have Mr. (and you can't tell if they're married...whereas Mrs. you can). And men are called "Sir" which can really sounds more respectful an not old-ladyish like "Ma'am".

The only reason she did take his last name was for the sake of the children she knew they'd have one day. She told me she's always believed this way...even as a young girl.
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Old 07-11-2007, 09:39 PM
 
Location: City of the damned, Wash
428 posts, read 2,256,679 times
Reputation: 255
We have options?!?!?! The only one I've been called is Ms., and I don't really appreciate it. I sort of understand it, in that people need to call you something, but they are just being socially lazy and should ask.
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Old 07-11-2007, 09:47 PM
 
Location: God's Country
21,636 posts, read 30,247,401 times
Reputation: 30179
When I got married I could not wait to be called Mrs........ It is an honor to take my husbands name. We have been married almost 13 years and I still get a kick out of someone calling me Mrs.......... I have in no way lost my personality, I am still my own person, he does not own me. I have never understood while a women would not want to take her husbands name.
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Old 07-11-2007, 09:55 PM
 
18,350 posts, read 23,523,787 times
Reputation: 34402
i have yet to meet a woman that would allow themselves to be owned, and if i could "own" a woman, id definitely want to buy the extended warrantee!
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Old 07-11-2007, 10:14 PM
 
Location: Jax
8,204 posts, read 32,217,516 times
Reputation: 3397
Quote:
Originally Posted by I LOVE NORTH CAROLINA View Post
I have never understood while a women would not want to take her husbands name.
Well, here's one !

It never occurred to me to change my last name when I got married. I was married later in life and had been completely independent for a long time before I ever met my husband.

When we were about to get married, I asked him if he cared if I did not change my name, did it matter to him? Luckily, he said no, it didn't matter, and he still feels that way today.

What if he had said 'yes, I want you to change your name'? We would have explored the option, and maybe I would have done it, but I tend to think I would not have. Had he been the kind of man who would have insisted I change my name, we probably would not have been getting married in the first place .

There are a lot of reasons why I would not be comfortable changing my name. For one, I have an unusual last name, and I have spend decades teaching people to pronounce it.....why waste all that effort ? Another reason is that our ethnic backgrounds are of conflicting nations, I would feel funny walking around with that ethnic name....I'd feel as though I lost some of my own ethnicity.

As for titles, I don't freak out if someone calls me "Mrs. His-name", I'll answer to it initially (though at some point, I'll politely explain that my name is actually ____). If a title is necessary, such as in business dealings, I prefer "Ms." - why should my marital status be exposed when a man's isn't? There is power in knowledge, why give it up freely to everyone?

Best of all is to just call me by my name - first and last - no titles .
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Old 07-11-2007, 10:16 PM
 
Location: Camano Island, WA
1,913 posts, read 8,238,082 times
Reputation: 1114
Quote:
Originally Posted by mainebrokerman View Post
if i could "own" a woman, id definitely want to buy the extended warrantee!

Or at least a money back guarantee....lol...
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Old 07-11-2007, 10:39 PM
 
Location: Pasadena, CA
145 posts, read 477,539 times
Reputation: 182
I viewed my becoming a Mrs as my commitment to my vows. I don't feel owned by my husband. I married as an equal and as a partner and have never been happier.
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Old 07-11-2007, 10:43 PM
 
Location: Debary, Florida
2,267 posts, read 2,530,538 times
Reputation: 685
Interesting...I felt my husband thought he owned me but I didn't associate it with the taking his name or being called Mrs.

He came to realize quick like a heart attack that he didn't own me.
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Old 07-11-2007, 10:47 PM
 
Location: Far Western KY
1,833 posts, read 5,869,730 times
Reputation: 848
Quote:
Originally Posted by mainebrokerman View Post
id definitely want to buy the extended warrantee!
I'd get one that came with free upgrades and a no questions asked return policy.
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Old 07-11-2007, 11:06 PM
 
Location: Earth
3,798 posts, read 6,156,218 times
Reputation: 2525
Yep if my husband owned me I think he would have returned me after the first 6 months!


NO, I've never felt owned, I've been blessed to find my soul mate...even when he acts like a jerk.
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