Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
OK, so 4SC gave us good reasons for the landlord's response.
1) Remember tonight's meeting is a GOOD thing.
You make perfect rational sense in your responses to Jim's abuse & bullying.
2) Don't protect Jim from revealing his true behavior to others...it leaves you looking as bad as he insinuates...let the therapist know WHY it's over...and that although you won't take advantage of him at this time, you have grown beyond needing that behavior any longer and you want to move on.
3) Although I rarely ever recommend taking tranquilizers, do if you need to, to help yourself calm down. Tonight is a good thing ~ another perfect opp God is giving you, to reveal to a professional why and that you are ready for a change.
Hugs and prayers to you for the strength and clarity that we all know is in you.
I called the landlord. It was me... I asked , calmly to meet with her, Jim and I, to remove him from the lease, and that we were separating ways... No other info given. He did not call her. I called him this morning and said i would call her and immediatley after hanging up, called her...
I am confused...J didn't EVER talk to the landlord?
The best thing to do with the Landlord is to call them back, be calm and cool and explain that you really need to stay in the house and that you can ensure them the rent will be paid and there will no problems from the seperation.
leasing is a buisness deal for the landlord, a seperation could mean loss of payment and trouble at that house, they will respond better if you can get them to trust that everything will be okay and don't share any personal info on the seperation, sound very strong and in control of yourself.
Okay, I've hestitated to say this, but now feel that it might be helpful to throw it out there and see.
Robyn, maybe God has a different plan. Maybe you are the one to move? Just a thought and I can't say whether it is right or wrong. But for awhile there, J was saying why don't you move and he will stay and that you couldn't push him out. Have you considered at all the possiblity of finding a smaller cheaper place?
Of course I can see that all of this is very stressful and difficult Robyn and believe me, I don't think that it is the easiest thing to do. But it might be a good decision and definitely one to consider. Maybe there is another single mom and you both could share a home until you were financially able to live on your own again. I say this because I remember you mentioning that it will be tight living on only your income.
Just a thought. Something to think about on your morning walks. Maybe even ask the Pastor at your church or see if their is a bulletin board with this type of request on it (already posted or you could put up the request for yourself).
Hugs,
~HDL~
p.s.
I loved your post this morning about the FOG!!!
I don't know anything about it ~ and it's probably a longshot that there would be any services in your area, but it's worth checking out.
Something to keep in the back of your mind...
That's a great idea, and along the lines of what HDL was suggesting. Perhaps it would make things better Robyn if you shared a home with another woman. It would lighten the load on house chores and such, especially rent. It would probably afford a level of protection as well; J couldn't come around any time he liked because he'd have to contend someone witnessing his abusive behavior. Plus, he would have no control over you and he splitting up. You hang in there Robyn. You've had far worse days than today and you'll be just fine.
Okay, I've hestitated to say this, but now feel that it might be helpful to throw it out there and see.
Robyn, maybe God has a different plan. Maybe you are the one to move? Just a thought and I can't say whether it is right or wrong. But for awhile there, J was saying why don't you move and he will stay and that you couldn't push him out. Have you considered at all the possiblity of finding a smaller cheaper place?
Of course I can see that all of this is very stressful and difficult Robyn and believe me, I don't think that it is the easiest thing to do. But it might be a good decision and definitely one to consider. Maybe there is another single mom and you both could share a home until you were financially able to live on your own again. I say this because I remember you mentioning that it will be tight living on only your income.
Just a thought. Something to think about on your morning walks. Maybe even ask the Pastor at your church or see if their is a bulletin board with this type of request on it (already posted or you could put up the request for yourself).
Hugs,
~HDL~
p.s.
I loved your post this morning about the FOG!!!
We live in a very very very small house. It is only 550 a month, and there is nothing cheaper around. The one bedroom apts around here go for 800mo.
Hmm...J says why dont you move...meaning you move, I stay, as well as the kids. I suppose I could try and find a place for the kids and I, but not at this price.
The house sharing idea would be great if you could find someone compatible and whose kids would be a good influence on your kids. Also, any chance of moving somewhere closer to family? Or would that be too much of a change all at once?
Do you think that you will be able to pay rent and bills on your salary until child and/or spousal support kicks in? There's no point in fighting the landlord over it if you're not going to be able to afford it. If you are going to be able to afford it, although it's none of her business, you might go over your budget with her in a general way and show her that you have been paying the rent and you will be able to continue to pay it.
Again, the BWS might be a good resource for you regarding housing. You're certainly not the first woman to find herself in this position.
The housing things may seem to be making things impossible, but in the end, it will just be a glitch. You're going to come out of this fog into the sunshine, happier and stronger.
Try asking a co worker or close friend. Maybe parents aunts uncles? just a couple of suggestions.
I have not chimed in on your situation but i think that it is a good thing that you are getting out of this situation. and maybe things with him will get better after he realizes what he has lost.
can i ask how old your children are? i was just wondering kids take things different at different ages
My son is 13 and my daughter is 11
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
