Where is the love? (Florida, South Carolina, realize, physical)

[Magnolia Bloom]

See if you can use your attorney's address on the custody papers. Or...find a temporary place to live- maybe with your cousins who smoke- and use that address. Then move in a week, before he is served. I would be surprised if they could serve him within such a short time. And if he drives a truck on overnights, you could maybe plan to file the papers the day he is leaving, move out the next day, spend a week at the address you use and then book it to the place you will call home.

There must be a legal provision for revealing your whereabouts in situations like this. That is where the shelter- or the staff at the other number that they gave you- can give you some direction.

I think that he will be Dr. Jekyll once he is served and his actions will work to your advantage as long as he doesn't know where you are. You have to make sure that you are safe. Desperate people do desperate things. Once he has nothing to hold over you, he will act out on his feelings of loss of control.

Sending prayers to you and your children.

[4StanleyCups]

The smoky cousins' house as a temporary (ONLY until the custody action gets started) measure might work well as the first step.... Then as soon as the Court grants Robyn custody, she could work on getting a different place. At least then Jim would have no legal right to remove the kids from her control.

A smoker's house would be my absolute last resort too (I'm one of those who can't even walk past a smoker without almost gagging from the "smoky-clothing fumes"!) but if it's a case of Move There for a Week or Two and Apply For Custody, versus Stay Put/Status Quo ... I'd have to opt for the smokers and 3 gas masks...

[Macrina]

Just a thought, Robin...
If it works out that you and the children must stay in that environment, it's possible that the experience could be so chokingly negative (concerning the smoke fumes) that both children would decide against Ever taking that first drag on a cigarette!

And physiologically, a few weeks of second hand smoke is not going to damage any of you ~ it's just unpleasant.

Anyway, we're all following along with many prayers and good wishes, wanting only the best outcome for you and your two precious ones...

[tasmtairy]

You can also make sure your room has a small air purifier and spend most of your time in there, computer for you and toys for the kids, just temporary. Things are really moving now. If you are home when he is served make sure someone is there with you, someone, preferrably, male, large, threatening. LOL, just make sure you and the kids are protected. The kids could go to a neighbors house if you can get an approximate time he will be served.

Good Luck!!!

[4StanleyCups]

Originally Posted by tasmtairy

If you are home when he is served make sure someone is there with you, someone, preferrably, male, large, threatening

Another good thing about temporarily camping out at the Smoky Cousins' place is that the odds will be in favor of someone else (other than Robyn and the kids) being there at any given time. Not only for protection but for "witness" purposes to whatever he may say or possibly threaten.

Jim will also be aware that the Cousin's house is "unfriendly ground" for him, which may help to keep his behavior moderated (well, more moderate than it would be if in his own house, or in front of people he knows to be on "his side" rather than Robyn's).

It sure wouldn't hurt to briefly stop in at the local police station and give them a heads-up on when the custody papers are apt to be served on Jim, as well as where you and the kids will be staying when that happens. Forewarned is forearmed, and then if they do end up getting a call, it will ring a bell "Hm, she did stop in here the other day to let us know that a situation could develop".

Robyn, can you get in touch with that same police officer who was sympathetic to you on that Other Night? He'd be a good person to give a heads-up to, and he will probably let the other people in the precinct know that there may be a possibility of some trouble.

[cassy1]

I hate to give you conflicting advise, and you can check this with your lawyer but don't you HAVE to tell Jim where the kids are? Again, I don't know law in VA, but most states do require both parents to know the address and whereabouts of the children. You don't want to have an Amber Alert put out on you.

I also agree with cousins house. Shut yourselves up in a room, just get out before he can control you and the kids anymore. One thing at a time makes it easier, and make yourself a list of all that you need to do and scratch off when accomplished. You will feel better about all that is happening, and not fall into depression when something does not go the way it should.

Keep strong, sister.

Sandy

[4StanleyCups]

cassy1, that's what hit me about the conflicting info Robyn got today. :-(

She said in her post this afternoon (talking about the lady at the courthouse who literally wouldn't let her past the door) "She said you have just as much right to take them as he does, without telling him where, and coming staight back up here for another appt. The one I got took 2 and a half weeks to get.
I said are you sure I can LAWFULLY take my kids, and not tell him where I am at? She says yes, but if he finds them, he can take them back."

IMO that scenario would accomplish nothing good...

Then when Robyn called her lawyer to tell him what had just happened, "he said I can move out, preferably durig the week, when he is not home, get a group of people to help. Put the address on the paperwork that I will be moving to, take it up to the courthouse before I move, and ask for the move date or the day after."

So the way I read that, it means that either
(A) The lawyer doesn't understand what Robyn told him, which is that the custody part of the Family Court there will blow her off if she indicates that she hasn't yet moved, or
(B) The lawyer is effectively telling her to lie on the paperwork (to put her future current address on the paperwork and take the paperwork to the courthouse before she's actually really living there). I wonder too about what kind of proof is required on the plaintiff's (Robyn's) part in order to prove that she's living where she claims to be. Maybe they just take the signed application as sufficient proof? (I suppose it could be possible..)

[cassy1]

Not sure, poor Robyn no wonder she just sat and cried today. Hang in there Robyn, I've been there, done that and lived through it all, you too will make it.

[4StanleyCups]

I know, poor gal, I just hope this evening goes somewhat better than usual -- maybe Jim will take it into his head go to hang out with a buddy tonight or something. That way Robyn will catch a break and have a little badly-needed peace and quiet.

Don't you just wish that all of us on CD could somehow transport ourselves through the 'Net, pop out of Robyn's monitor en masse and give Jim a good old virtual/cyber-asswhuppin' whenever he starts up with his usual, uh, "stuff"..!!

[Synopsis]

Originally Posted by 4StanleyCups

Don't you just wish that all of us on CD could somehow transport ourselves through the 'Net, pop out of Robyn's monitor en masse and give Jim a good old virtual/cyber-asswhuppin' whenever he starts up with his usual, uh, "stuff"..!!

That's a classic 4StanleyCups. I wish it were possible; oh how I wish it were indeed possible.

Robyn, it appears everyone is very much in empathy with you. Like someone said, hang in there sister. We all care about you.