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Old 12-10-2010, 09:46 PM
 
11 posts, read 9,371 times
Reputation: 11

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Hello, I just registered, and I'm facing a small dilemma. I am a 19 year old male named Dylan ( don't know if that's necessary information but...) There is a girl in my Art History class that makes butterflies fill my entire body and lifts me to a height I've never experienced. Like an idiot I never attempted to be friendly with or even talk to her at all and now the only chance I have is the final exam day next Wednesday. I've made a pretty note that's partly a poem I wrote about her and also has my number and holiday greetings etc... My question I suppose is mainly directed at the women of this forum: Would you rather a guy in this situation come up and say something like "Ashley! Forgive the intrusion but I'd really love to know you, how do you feel about that?" or should I approach her with a smile and say "Ashley, would you please take this and read it? Thank you so much."? Part of me feels like she won't take the poem seriously at all because I'm just a stranger to her (It's very romantic) and after all I want to be friends first anyway....but part of me wants to just give her the note because I feel like the chances of her being interested in becoming friends is very low so I suppose there are a few issues at play. Anyways, I'd appreciate any and all discussion on the issue, thanks!
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Old 12-10-2010, 10:20 PM
 
1,090 posts, read 1,577,351 times
Reputation: 812
hahaha this is too cute

now i know what "approach and talk vs approach and note" means

save the poem for later. might scare her off - you guys aren't even friends.

if you're worried about finding the right words or putting her on the spot or asking for her number/asking her out after the final... write another note. something simpler. write your number, say that you'd like to get to know her better and would like to take her out sometime, say pls call me if she would like to

keep it simple
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Old 12-10-2010, 11:20 PM
 
11 posts, read 9,371 times
Reputation: 11
Maybe you're right. How is this? "The thing is...I would really love to know you! I apologize for intruding upon your privacy and I hope I didn't disturb you. I just know that if I hadn't given you this note I would have regretted it so much! I'm going to leave my number and if you find yourself curious as to what kind of person I might be, just call/text anytime... I really hope you have a magical Christmas! - Dylan"
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Old 12-10-2010, 11:32 PM
 
7 posts, read 10,389 times
Reputation: 15
Uh, how about talking to her as one classmate to another? Breaking the ice with that and see how open she is to you. She may have a boyfriend so informal chatting where you can get some info before giving her a poem or note would help you save face.

When you think about it, if you can't even talk freely with this girl, how can you ever have a potential relationship?
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Old 12-10-2010, 11:38 PM
 
7 posts, read 10,389 times
Reputation: 15
Quote:
Originally Posted by amongyourhoundsoflove View Post
Maybe you're right. How is this? "The thing is...I would really love to know you! I apologize for intruding upon your privacy and I hope I didn't disturb you. I just know that if I hadn't given you this note I would have regretted it so much! I'm going to leave my number and if you find yourself curious as to what kind of person I might be, just call/text anytime... I really hope you have a magical Christmas! - Dylan"

Not good imo. Is this a note or talk? Either way, still sucks. Too formal and NO apologizing, makes you look insecure. Talk is best. Discuss what is going on in class, ask her a question about class then get into a conversation. Asking a question is a great ice-breaker and it's best if there isn't a yes or no answer. A note, like a text leaves you high & dry, it's best to communicate directly so you can read her signals towards you.

Last edited by fun with pudding; 12-10-2010 at 11:43 PM.. Reason: sic
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Old 12-11-2010, 02:54 AM
 
Location: SXSW
640 posts, read 1,550,032 times
Reputation: 607
Quote:
Originally Posted by amongyourhoundsoflove View Post
Hello, I just registered, and I'm facing a small dilemma. I am a 19 year old male named Dylan ( don't know if that's necessary information but...) There is a girl in my Art History class that makes butterflies fill my entire body and lifts me to a height I've never experienced. Like an idiot I never attempted to be friendly with or even talk to her at all and now the only chance I have is the final exam day next Wednesday. I've made a pretty note that's partly a poem I wrote about her and also has my number and holiday greetings etc... My question I suppose is mainly directed at the women of this forum: Would you rather a guy in this situation come up and say something like "Ashley! Forgive the intrusion but I'd really love to know you, how do you feel about that?" or should I approach her with a smile and say "Ashley, would you please take this and read it? Thank you so much."? Part of me feels like she won't take the poem seriously at all because I'm just a stranger to her (It's very romantic) and after all I want to be friends first anyway....but part of me wants to just give her the note because I feel like the chances of her being interested in becoming friends is very low so I suppose there are a few issues at play. Anyways, I'd appreciate any and all discussion on the issue, thanks!
well arent you the cutest thing ever

Personally, I agree with above. Chat her up and see if she has a bf first. AT least break the ice a little bit!

Last edited by simpleharmonicmotion; 12-11-2010 at 03:38 AM..
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Old 12-11-2010, 03:16 AM
 
Location: New Zealand and Australia
7,456 posts, read 11,537,774 times
Reputation: 7783
Quote:
Originally Posted by amongyourhoundsoflove View Post
Hello, I just registered, and I'm facing a small dilemma. I am a 19 year old male named Dylan ( don't know if that's necessary information but...) There is a girl in my Art History class that makes butterflies fill my entire body and lifts me to a height I've never experienced. Like an idiot I never attempted to be friendly with or even talk to her at all and now the only chance I have is the final exam day next Wednesday. I've made a pretty note that's partly a poem I wrote about her and also has my number and holiday greetings etc... My question I suppose is mainly directed at the women of this forum: Would you rather a guy in this situation come up and say something like "Ashley! Forgive the intrusion but I'd really love to know you, how do you feel about that?" or should I approach her with a smile and say "Ashley, would you please take this and read it? Thank you so much."? Part of me feels like she won't take the poem seriously at all because I'm just a stranger to her (It's very romantic) and after all I want to be friends first anyway....but part of me wants to just give her the note because I feel like the chances of her being interested in becoming friends is very low so I suppose there are a few issues at play. Anyways, I'd appreciate any and all discussion on the issue, thanks!
Forget the whole thing....after reading your post I'm almost certain you swing for the other team
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Old 12-11-2010, 04:30 AM
 
Location: Heidelberg, Germany
253 posts, read 497,296 times
Reputation: 360
^^^^LOL^^^^ This made me laugh so hard. So funny and could be true.

Seriously though: Good avise has been given above. Don't apologize. For what? Don't turn this into such a big deal. Talk to her. Don't scare her with your peoms etc. Try and take it easy. She will likely not be the last girl you meet. If it works out, great. If not, no big deal. Really!!!

You really do need to relax a little bit. If you are too tense and insecure chances are she won't be interested.

Let us know how it went.
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Old 12-11-2010, 05:12 AM
 
1,206 posts, read 2,545,920 times
Reputation: 1150
Wait lemme get this straight. You said this girl probably won't want to be friends with you... but you want to date her... Dude if you can't even be friends with her forget about dating her. That will never work out. A partner is pretty must a BEST friend that you have sex relations with that you are committed to.

Im gonna guess you never had a girlfriend before. I suggest you just make more female friends in general and polishing up your social skills. Don't worry about missing the "opportunity". Its college its a small world, you can allways meet someone easily.

If you STILL want to go ahead with this, please don't give a note. That is just weirdo territory... If I were the girl I'd just be creeped out. I think the normal, "Hi my names Dylan and I'd love to get the chance to get to know you over a cup coffee. My treat?" said confidently and friendly will be a thousand times better than any "strategy".
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Old 12-11-2010, 05:22 AM
 
Location: St. Louis
9,593 posts, read 17,168,542 times
Reputation: 13420
Just remember that if you do go talk to her, you don't have to start with anything special to get started--a chance comment about the weather or this prof's hard tests should be enough to get the ball rolling. If you sweat too much about what you're going to say, either you'll never say it, or it will come out sounding contrived. I think the note could work if you keep it simple--as a woman I wouldn't be creeped out but I wouldn't be ready for a declaration either. Think of it this way--if she can't handle that form of communication with you, she probably isn't for you anyway--just save the romantic stuff for later.
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