Being Married more than once...Negative Attitudes and Comments...... (wife, marriage, girl)

[spiritwalker]

Ok . Here is something that ruffles old Spiritwalkers feathers !!!! I have been married more than once. You might say "Yeah in this day and age so what!!"
I wish that were true. It seems especially at work when someone is irritated with me or is in "gossip mode" my being married more than once suddenly comes into play. I could be tardy on a deadline issue and in addition to that being addressed the "And he's been married more than once too," is added on !! Why would that have anything to do with the issue at hand? Typically I don't dignify such ignorance. On occasion I play it off by saying "I have been married three times: One divorce ( after fifteen years/ Rookie mistakes) ,One death ( My late wife died of cancer, we were married for seven years) and this one (currently four years and by far the greatest) is a keeper. While I don't wear my "Marriage Record" on my shirt, I am not shy about my past life. Can I change the past? Why would I be, where I live and work there are no secrets....astonishing!!!! People find out things that blow my mind.
If asked I will tell the truth . Soooooooo heres what I am after. I am not always in a jovial mood to field such questions. As creative as I can be with "clever responses"I do run out of Jam. Rather than be nasty (I can do that but would rather not) can anyone male or female give me some suggestions as to what to do or say in this regard. May be venting here is all that I am doing. But then this is the place hey? Feed me my fellow thread posters.
Always grateful ,
Spiritwalker

[Rance]

What you need is a good comeback? That does sound like some pretty immature thing to do to anyone. Personally...I'd head butt the individual that brought the subject up. I garantee they would think twice about bad mouthing anyone ever again. What is the point of even bring your past marriages up? That SOB needs to be taught a valuable lesson. I really don't have a come back...other than flat asking them their reasoning behind them bringing that subject up. It's just childish. I'd drop them in their tracks with a head butt, then either fire the unconsious sap or pack my things and go look for a new job. but thats just me.

[still hangin]

As long as you don't get sued or reprimanded for sexual harrassment tell them, "hey, what can I say, I'm good in bed!"

[shuke]

If the head butt doesn't work go for an Abdominal Stretch, and if that don't do it, hit 'em with a Texas Cloverleaf.

[Sam I Am]

Spiritwalker, I've been married 3 times too - the first one I threw out, the second ran away from home while I was at a garage sale, and the third one - well, we're just too old and tired to go through all the hassle of breaking up! (j/k - absolutely nuts about this one!)

You don't need a clever comeback - all you need to do is smile and look confused and say, "I can't possibly imagine why in the world you would be interested in ancient history" and move on. You owe no one an explanation on your past, present or future life.....if that fails, tell them you had a couple that got away....while you were at a garage sale....

[canibeyou]

Spiritwalker... from the reasons you posted about previous marriages, it doesn't sound to me like you have the "Hollywood complex", where you marry just because you had nothing else planned that weekend.
IMO, it's no body else's business and when asked about it, I'd pretty much be that blunt about it.

[emjbulls]

Tell them if they are nice to you, they can be number 4.

[country pride]

People marry and divorce because they dont get the chance to know the other person well enough to see their 'dark' side along with the good. Some just marry because he got the girl pregnant and in some cases, thats the only reason he sticks around. Some walk right out of one relationship and straight into another because they just dont want to be alone, after being married.
There are people who are successful in marrying, finally, for the 5th or 8th time, others seem to follow a pattern, that pattern of 'not want to be alone'. I know of someone whos been married 4 times...and after his 4th wife divorced him, (he didnt leave her, she left him. All his ex's did), he realized there was something he was doing wrong and got counseling, and is a much better person now. I know my old boss back in another town whos been married 8 times, and to this day they are still as happy as the day they met. But it took 7 tries to finally find the right one.
So really, it would depend on the person. Maybe theyre just following a pattern of hooking up with losers, or maybe they dont realize they rush too fast into another when one fails, a person really would do well to analyze, weigh out the pros and cons, in any potential relationships before even thinking of that 'm' word. And if you have kids, make it clear that its a package deal and your kids' needs, well being is always going to be first on your list of anything.

[clawson26]

I have a friend who has been married three times at 33. It's weird because she isn't the stereotype you think of being married so many times. She has just had really bad luck. Anyway when people make comments to her she just says "hey what can I tell you...I like marriage it just doesn't like me" and smiles and goes on. I think if someone who knows you pulls that out like in an office environment they are just doing it because they know it gets to you. Like bullies on the playground.

[vpcats]

Originally Posted by emjbulls

Tell them if they are nice to you, they can be number 4.

That's a good one too! I might try that one myself one of these days.