To all of you who wanna have kids some day

[JustJulia]

Originally Posted by DennyCrane

Nothing in life is 100% sure expect death and taxes. So instead of saying 100% sure, how bout reasonably confident? I'm reasonably confident that this marriage will last, so let's have kids. Or I'm reasonably confident that I'll always have enough money to pay for my kids' needs.

You still can't be reasonably sure that your child will not be disabled or become disabled, or that you will not become sick or disabled. That can be a major source of stress, tension and expense.

[DennyCrane]

Originally Posted by JustJulia

You still can't be reasonably sure that your child will not be disabled or become disabled, or that you will not become sick or disabled. That can be a major source of stress, tension and expense.

True, but the point is that you're not waiting for some kind of guarantee. You could get married today, your wife could get pregnant tomorrow (hopefully by you), and the day after that you get hit by a bus.

[nimchimpsky]

Originally Posted by JustJulia

I understand, and I agree. "Don't have kids unless you're 100% sure you won't divorce" makes as much sense as "Don't have kids unless you're 100% sure they will not be disabled or will ever become disabled."

Stuff happens. It's unknown and scary, but people grow up and deal with it. You can't hide from life.

Well said. In fact disability is a good test to how stable marriage is. So maybe you can't be 100% sure that no one will become disabled (spouse or child), but if you can come up with ways to deal with what comes your way, then that is at least some sense of stability. A stable marriage isn't about making sure things don't change. It's about knowing how to deal with change together.