Online dating sites: Rip off? (women, love, single, dance)

[Dancingearth]

I am really thinking these Internet personal sites are a big rip off and use deceptive business practices. They seemed okay a few years ago but these last two times I've tried (over the last four years), I have my doubts about their integrity. For instance, you can't read any emails or winks until you pay so when I posted an ad and got a response, I paid. Only it was some very strange person (this last time it was a woman who wanted to get together with other women to complain about the men!) Man, that made me mad. I paid for that! Since I only get winks from men 3,000 miles (or more) away and these very odd ones I'm beginning to think match.com sends them to keep people paying but they are so weird and so distant no one bothers responding. I always respond with at least a no thank you but I never hear back from anyone I wrote or winked at.

This is the second time I fell for it. I went and paid for three months this time and because I know people that have met people thru this medium, I don't want to take it down (okay and maybe pure stubborness I paid for it so I want to have some fun. So I wrote a long rambling email because I don't really believe anyone actually reads them but match won't post it. They sent a rule list which doesn't appear to fit anything I wrote. I think they didn't like that I said I wasted my money that could have been spent on six dance lessons instead. Certainly no freedom of speech on that site if that was why they wouldn't post it. We need to come up with a better site for single people to talk to each other. No talking going on at those sites that is for sure.

Are there real people working at that place? My account also shows I got a wink but I can't access it and when I wrote customer service all I got back was a form letter not telling me anything. They are screwed up because it says I have to subscribe to access it but I did subscribe. Makes my belief they send this stuff so people pay when in reality no one real is sending the emails or winks and maybe half the ads aren't real either. Anyone else have this experience? I want one of those grumpy people stomping off my page This is the last time I try this medium. I think it has outworn it's use, especially for my age group (54.) There are to be studies on this stuff--going to look.

[DCNative]

Uh oh... I hadn't signed up at match.com but was planning to. Let's see some other sites!

[canibeyou]

I'm not single, but I've often wondered about eHarmony. Their ads seem like everyone's hooking up with their soulmate on there.

[HIF]

I joined Match for a year in 05/06. I signed up and then I forgot to tell them that I didn't want to renew and money was withdrawn from my account, so I had more months. So that kind of T'ed me off. And I did see the same picture used for three different guys from different parts of the country- so I think they have some kind of scam going on.

BUT, I found that I could be a dating machine if I wanted to be. And I never meet men in my day-to-day routine. Met lots of really nice guys- 45-55 YO, but I had a process....

I did not respond to winks and I put that in my profile. If they winked, then they didn't read my profile...so, I just hid their profile. If they winked again, I blocked them.

I responded to all who wrote me and had a canned "no thanks" response that I used if I had no interest- and I would end it- "Thank you, Suzy" Since my name isn't Suzy, if a guy wrote back and called me Suzy, I would know that he was someone that I had absolutely no interest in. But several guys wrote back wishing me luck and thanking me for thanking them for their interest.

I also removed the profiles of all that I had no interest in from the get go- had like over 400 hidden profiles....

Don't know if it was just a line- but many guys that I met said that I looked better in RL than on my profile...very good for my fragile ego- lie or not! And I have to say that I met no crazies. Met some very vulnerable men, though.

Hmm, now you've got me wanting to do it again

I didn't do the coffee at Starbucks route. If I was going to meet them, I was going to spend time with them. It was always dinner and we'd go dutch.

As for the cost- not sure how much it is now, but I rationalized that I would spend $100 on a concert, dinner and drinks, so spending $80 or whatever it was, was cheap- the equivalent of a couple of dinners out.

[Dancingearth]

I looked at eharmony but it was really expensive and I don't like that you have no control over who you look at--they send the matches to you--very limited. My friend is trying it and so far pretty much the same response (nada.) Oh my evil twin would love to put my words with a picture of a blonde. One of my teachers did an experiment like that - changed the way she looked--longer hair, tanner, etc. Huge difference in men's response to her. It shocked me because she is young and beautiful just as she is. Not sure what a guy's test would be other than get some decent pictures, update your look (older men), spell check, and smile.

DCNative - I don't know for sure but my sense is that for guys it is probably better--especially young good looking ones like you Someone should teach manners though--at least say no thank you kindly. Anonymous really brings out the bad manners. I read somewhere that one of the worst things to do socially to another human being is to ignore them and act like they don't exist. Not sure but I know I don't like it.

I think you should try yahoo personals--at least scan the women on both and see if any look interesting to you. I assume you've done that? When I was younger I had more success although unlike any other medium I've tried, I've never made a friend through the personal ads online. You still need to be careful--remember MBM's story. My son had an ad and went to the young woman's house for dinner because she had a child and no babysitter and I don't know the details but it wasn't good (but not as bad as MBM's story.) I'm guessing she wanted to have sex right away and he wasn't going to do that on the first date. Even men need to be cautious.

[Rance]

Why not start a CDmatchforum or thread? Kinda like the classifieds section.

[floridadreamer]

My friend has met both of her guys on yahoo, one lasted 6 years the other is still going. I have no idea how much it cost, but she did say that she was about to cancel her membership right when she met guy #2.

[HIF]

Okay, I just took a break and scanned match.com. Lots of the same guys on there and none that blew my skirt up. Think I'll save my money for a visit to Alaska...once Karla does a little recon.

Who is MBM and what is his/her story?!

[Dancingearth]

Look on the match.com thread that DCNative started. MBM is MaineBrokerMan - he had quite a scary story about one of his escapades when he was dating on the Internet.

[Dancingearth]

Yes I'd save my money too - it seems like the same men all the time but maybe they think the same thing? Only I take my ad down when I'm not paying but my friend doesn't so I suppose you could say the same for her and I think she is great. She seems to go thru spurts where she dates men and then nothing for 9 months.