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wow the responses here are interesting. I have lots of male friends, even in relationships who I hang out with regularly-alone too, even though I'm the single one. Nothing happens because its platonic and they respect my and their girlfriends boundaries as well.
My ex was the same way. He had plenty of female friends, who he hung out with at times, alone as well. I never had to worry because it was always very clear of how platonic it was and he simply was not disrespectful to me or the other girls in that regard.
I think the bottom line is, if you can't trust someone to be alone with the opposite sex, why are you dating them anyways?
With a practiced and jaundiced eye. That's how I view them.
Quote:
Unless it's a lifelong friendship. There's a reason for those. Most other relationships, refer to #1.
That's exactly how I feel about those "friendships"! If it's a friend, we'll see the friend together and the friend will be coming to our house or we'll be going to hers.
wow the responses here are interesting. I have lots of male friends, even in relationships who I hang out with regularly-alone too, even though I'm the single one. Nothing happens because its platonic and they respect my and their girlfriends boundaries as well.
My ex was the same way. He had plenty of female friends, who he hung out with at times, alone as well. I never had to worry because it was always very clear of how platonic it was and he simply was not disrespectful to me or the other girls in that regard.
I think the bottom line is, if you can't trust someone to be alone with the opposite sex, why are you dating them anyways?
I agree. Everyone agreeing with Avienne (whom I love and adore) lives in a sad, sad world with no sense of trust...and quite a bit of chauvinism, in fact.
wow the responses here are interesting. I have lots of male friends, even in relationships who I hang out with regularly-alone too, even though I'm the single one. Nothing happens because its platonic and they respect my and their girlfriends boundaries as well.
My ex was the same way. He had plenty of female friends, who he hung out with at times, alone as well. I never had to worry because it was always very clear of how platonic it was and he simply was not disrespectful to me or the other girls in that regard.
I think the bottom line is, if you can't trust someone to be alone with the opposite sex, why are you dating them anyways?
I've trusted, only for it to bite me in the ass time and time again, and not just in romantic affairs. So I think the line of "if you can't trust them, why are you dating them" is illogical. I offer trust to a certain extent, but blind, full on trust to me is just ridiculous. I've got enough stories of guys or girls trusting their s/o, but being cheated on that I could talk all day.
Thing is, our rule applies to everyone because the bottom line is, just because you don't have the intention of cheating, doesn't mean it won't happen. Humans are fallable, so why put yourself in a dangerous position. Why when it comes to trust, we are expected to expect perfection from the other.
Sh*t happens. Accidents happen. My ex-wife never gave me any indication she would ever cheat in the 9 years we were together, only for her in the end to have one too many cocktails, we had just had a fight, male friend had pretending to be her friend getting closer and closer who just happened to be there to listen to her, playing mr nice guy, i'm here for you, etc being her shoulder to vent. Right time meets the right opportunity and bam, she slipped up. Men and woman can be seduced. Brain chemistry is a tricky thing. The right environment, the right person, alcohol, etc and the next thing you know, you got a recipe for doing something you normally wouldn't do. We are not always 100% strong and on guard. So to walk about in life as such is ridiculous. And think about other scenarios such as hours working next to someone. it's said that 60% of marital affairs occur with coworkers. And it's no surprise. People get too friendly and comfortable, spend lots of time with someone that is attractive, while the husband or wife deals with all the negative, the coworker is always in a positive light. Next thing you know, they think they love this other person. We don't trust people with money, yet we are expected to trust people when it comes to something that many would pay for, something that wars have been fought over, etc, etc.
I've just seen already several instances of good friends, someone I never thought would cross that cheating line, did, and with a friend of the opposite sex. We all have moments of weakness. Part of cheating prevention, is avoiding situations where you end up on that slippery slope. An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure.
My man has no problems with my old time buddies and even ex-boyfriends! However, he is very cautious with any new male friends I may obtain. In his completely biased opinion, every man in the world is out to get me.
theres alot of variables. Like what kind of people are her male friends (ie. are they sleazy/no morals/horny bastards). Whether she spends alone time with them. Whether she has a history of cheating/untrustworthyness. Whether our relationship is emotionally satisfying to her.
If it bothered me then I would probably mention it, or ask that someone else or I be invited as well.
To be honest i trust my girlfriend and am not worried. If she cheated on me then I doubt some sort of jealous vigilence would not of prevented anything.
Women always ask this question and never want to accept the answer that if you're any type of a good looking female, 90% of your guy friends want to be friends with you so that when you're vulnerable they can hop in there and sleep with you. It's true, and I've confirmed with other males. And vice versa, men usually only want to be friends with females for that moment/backup plan. This does not apply if you're older or gay.
There are acceptions a guy may make about his girls male friends, but he has to meet them first. And its still not guaranteed. I've even had people I thought were my friend go for an ex as soon as we broke up. I think the woman has to put effort into making sure her boyfriend is aware how platonic the relationship is.
I just got back in contact with an old school buddy/BF, last night on facebook. I haven`t talked to him in 15 or so years.
I told my husband about him today, and ask him if it was ok that we stayed in contact over the phone, email, etc.
He ask me where he lived!
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