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Like hell it is. The only thing you have a right to know is whether she has a clean bill of health. The rest is none of your business unless she volunteers to make it so.
Quote:
Originally Posted by NorthsideJacksonville
Asking about her sexual past falls under clean bill of health. Again it is my business if I'm choosing to get involved with her. If she can't be forthright about that, 9 times out of 10 she won't be honest about other things.
It's not about being honest or not/hiding something or not. It's about her past is her past. You have a right to ask her to provide you with proof of a clean bill of health and that's it. To believe you have the right to someone else's past would imply ownership and we all know slavery went out a long time ago. You don't have the right to anything over another person. A relationship (outside of marriage) is not a legal contract. It's a mutal consideration and respect for each other.
You have many rights in this country but ownership of another person's personal history isn't one of them. Feel free to exercise your right and keep it movin' but don't think anyone owes you full disclosure.
Last edited by seeniorita; 12-19-2010 at 02:44 PM..
Reason: spelling
It's not about being honest or not/hiding something or not. It's about her past is her past. You have a right to ask her to provide you with proof of a clean bill of health and that's it. To believe you have the right to someone else's past would imply ownership and we all know slavery went out a long time ago. You don't have the right to anything over another person. A relationship (outside of marriage) is not a legal contract. It's a mutal consideration and respect for each other.
Ownership of information is really what this is about. How can anyone say they have the right to information that belongs to someone else? I dated a girl who was divorced. Naturally, I was curious as to why her marriage ended. When I asked, she disclosed more than I expected, including information that made her look bad. The fact that she trusted me enough to share it was flattering. It meant that I had earned her trust. Never did I feel entitled to that information or like it belonged to me. I think people today have a very self-centered way of looking at relationships and this idea of having a right to know about someone else's past is a perfect example of that. You have a right to ask. That's all.
Location: Visitation between Wal-Mart & Home Depot
8,309 posts, read 38,779,335 times
Reputation: 7185
Quote:
Originally Posted by amanda781
Wanted to know what men think of women who are sexually experienced or who have had a lot of sexual partners. Is she automatically labeled a s**t? I understand the "double standard" but are there exceptions to the rule? Would you date a sexually secure (experienced) women if it meant she had a substantial amount of partners?
Are we talking under 30 with over 30? That's a lot and it raises a red flag because level, stable women without a chaotic upbringing that would make good partners don't usually do that. As you said, there are exceptions to the rule but giving a "highly profileable" person the benefit of the doubt will bite you at least as often as not and, more to the point, most guys just aren't secure enough to be able to put that much "experience" out of mind.
There may be a double standard to an extent, but the level, stable women without a chaotic upbringing that would make good partners will also label a man-w **** and don't usually give him the time of day unless it's at an obscure after-hours in Daytona or South Padre for spring break and NO ONE is gonna find out... THEN they may get a little more curious about the Situation's abs.
Asking about her sexual past falls under clean bill of health. Again it is my business if I'm choosing to get involved with her. If she can't be forthright about that, 9 times out of 10 she won't be honest about other things.
What nosy, domineering, b.s.
All you need to know is that her bloodwork is fine. You are not entitled to know how many people she has been with or the details of her sex life or relationships before you came into her life. That is none of your business and you've got a lot of nerve asking. Any woman with an ounce of self-respect would tell you to go jump the minute you started grilling her on it.
All you need to know is that her bloodwork is fine. You are not entitled to know how many people she has been with or the details of her sex life or relationships before you came into her life. That is none of your business and you've got a lot of nerve asking. Any woman with an ounce of self-respect would tell you to go jump the minute you started grilling her on it.
You sound overly sensitive, bet you have been with alot of guys, or have some other hangup.
Location: The western periphery of Terra Australis
24,544 posts, read 56,060,466 times
Reputation: 11862
Quote:
Originally Posted by Avienne
What nosy, domineering, b.s.
All you need to know is that her bloodwork is fine. You are not entitled to know how many people she has been with or the details of her sex life or relationships before you came into her life. That is none of your business and you've got a lot of nerve asking. Any woman with an ounce of self-respect would tell you to go jump the minute you started grilling her on it.
Not entitled, nor do I really care, but I'd prefer someone who didn't hide anything like that.
the second man I ever slept with judged me for the perceived lack of experience he assumed I had. I was with my ex at that time about 2 and a half years or so and it was embarrassing having to explain that we had a LOT of sex therefore I had some idea of what I wanted/liked in bed. He didnt' buy it though. I have a little bit more experience now, but just saying, it goes the other way too!
Location: The western periphery of Terra Australis
24,544 posts, read 56,060,466 times
Reputation: 11862
Quote:
Originally Posted by mir86
the second man I ever slept with judged me for the perceived lack of experience he assumed I had. I was with my ex at that time about 2 and a half years or so and it was embarrassing having to explain that we had a LOT of sex therefore I had some idea of what I wanted/liked in bed. He didnt' buy it though. I have a little bit more experience now, but just saying, it goes the other way too!
Then he should have been willing to teach you a few things.
Then he should have been willing to teach you a few things.
he did, but I didn't like his style and so I stopped seeing him after a couple months. I still learned what I DON'T like and what DOESN'T work for me, with that guy though! lol
I'd rather have sex 5,000 times with one person than sex one time with 5,000 different partners. Promiscuous people of either gender have never been appealing to me.
Personally I would rather have sex 50 times with a 100 different partners.
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