A male perspective on the sexual women (Wisconsin, years, like)

[TKramar]

Perhaps males want to be with someone whose number of partners does not far outstrip theirs?

I'm 40, I've only dated a dozen women, but each of them were serious relationships. There were no one night stands, there were no casualness towards them as sex partners.

[dejaentendu19]

Originally Posted by DennyCrane

The only thing ridiculous is that you can't recognize that your need to know is driven by your insecurity. First, you have no way of verifying the accuracy of whatever she tells you, as several of us have pointed out already. Second, you haven't defined what you consider to be too many partners and how you even go about determining that. So the question itself becomes meaningless. You seem to think that the more partners someone else has had, the more likely she is to cheat on you. If you truly believe that, then find yourself a virgin.

I would like to think that someone I'm falling for (not just dating) wouldn't lie about that question.

[harborlady]

Originally Posted by SifuPhil

I believe what the OP is referring to is a person who aware of and is comfortable with their sexuality. A person who doesn't hide it for fear of being labeled immoral or a sinner; a person who recognizes that sex is a gift that humans should enjoy, not fear; a person who wears their sexual abilities like a finely tailored suit, not like a rusting chastity belt; a person who doesn't lie awake at night with "performance anxiety". It's about shedding the excess baggage of guilt and mental exhaustion that is so frequently involved with the word "sexual" and replacing it with simple pleasure and love.

At least, that's how I see it.

Not male, but I find most of the perceptions in this thread confused.

Sexual anxiety is unattractive in either gender and reads as evidence they aren't ready for involvement of any sort save for a therapist.

The rest sounds like too many misread what they observe & misconstrue religious perspective of their sex lives, which in all fairness, is goaded on by squeamish theologians. Listening to overly modest clergy I've got to wonder how many outright fainted forced to comprehend song of solomon. Technically, prudes engaged in censorship of free society ought to apply that standard to the bible to realize how wrong they are.

I'll put it to you this way. As religious having no aversion to sexuality.... casual sex is like being offered the opportunity to eat a picture of food. It's an empty experience at best, and worst are the other layers of consequence leaving you anemic and poorer for the bargain. My real desire is to have my whole self engaged. A skilled lover employs addressing of the 5 senses, but that's only the surface. Having your heart, soul, and life engaged is a whole other universe letharios cannot comprehend.

Love is what? Jumping through hoops like circus ponies for one another to keep each other entertained? Always having an alibi to lie for you? What a waste of a life. It's been my experience that particular 4 letter word has so many different meanings, each evolving over the course of a lifetime, that the real difficulty in relationships is more frequently attributable to disparate meanings of the very same word. It might help people to realize my meaning by trying to recall what love meant when 7yrs old, 14 yrs old, 21, 30, 50... so on.

[onihC]

I would find it hypocritical for a guy to be uncomfortable with a girl who has been around the block while he sleeps around with no problems.

[elikhom]

Originally Posted by onihC

I would find it hypocritical for a guy to be uncomfortable with a girl who has been around the block while he sleeps around with no problems.

Fine, but if I'm not promiscuous, women shouldn't expect me to say 'good for you girl' and not to roll my eyes when I hear they have had 30+ different partners.

[WakaFlocka]

Originally Posted by elikhom

Fine, but if I'm not promiscuous, women shouldn't expect me to say 'good for you girl' and not to roll my eyes when I hear they have had 30+ different partners.

Agreed. A number that high shows impulsivity, carelessness, and ignorant to STDs. And before anyone jumps on me, that goes equally for both men and women.

[MariaKintobor]

Originally Posted by amanda781

Wanted to know what men think of women who are sexually experienced or who have had a lot of sexual partners. Is she automatically labeled a s**t? I understand the "double standard" but are there exceptions to the rule? Would you date a sexually secure (experienced) women if it meant she had a substantial amount of partners?

Not trying to thread hijack but to answer your question.

In the BDSM community some Doms take on multiple Subs on occasion since Subs outnumber Doms. The idea of this is to not only the exchange of sexual satisfaction but to give the Sub sexual experience to please their future sexual partners.

With that said there are certainly exceptions to the rule!

[skel1977]

Originally Posted by amanda781

Wanted to know what men think of women who are sexually experienced or who have had a lot of sexual partners. Is she automatically labeled a s**t? I understand the "double standard" but are there exceptions to the rule? Would you date a sexually secure (experienced) women if it meant she had a substantial amount of partners?

Only if she talks about it openly.

[LS Jaun]

I do appreciate a woman who knows what she wants. Whether that comes from a woman who has been with 5 men or 20. Does the 5 indicate a virtuous woman and the 30 indicate a Sl*t. I don't think so.

A woman I work with is 37, she's been sexually active for almost 20 years and has had at least 1 boyfriend every year during that time. Shes pretty yappy and I see her boyfriends distance theirselves from her at the 6-9 month mark (Sometimes sooner) every time. Is she a Sl*t?

[MariaKintobor]

Originally Posted by LS Jaun

I do appreciate a woman who knows what she wants. Whether that comes from a woman who has been with 5 men or 20. Does the 5 indicate a virtuous woman and the 30 indicate a Sl*t. I don't think so.

A woman I work with is 37, she's been sexually active for almost 20 years and has had at least 1 boyfriend every year during that time. Shes pretty yappy and I see her boyfriends distance theirselves from her at the 6-9 month mark (Sometimes sooner) every time. Is she a Sl*t?

Not at all.

She may be so open about her past partners because she would like her partners to be open with her as well.

It helps prevent drama, sets expectations and you can't do that without open communication.

How could anyone make a responsible choice upon whom to they choose for a sexual partner when they do not know that persons past sex life?

It is an important discussion.