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Location: The western periphery of Terra Australis
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It seems the only women interested in IR dating on a large scale are Asian women, PARTLY because of an inferiority complex.
White women liking black men seems more like a fetish than a commonplace occurence, while it seems there are more black women open to dating white men than vice versa I'm not sure how true that is.
Move to the SF Bay Area, specifically Oakland or Berkeley. You see a large number of white guy/black gal relationships.
A few of the areas I grew up in had either black or Asian majorities and so it went without saying that early on, I dated black and Asian girls, a trend which has carried into my adult life, one way or the other
One of the things I've heard from black women is that even if they do find white guys attractive and would be open to dating one, a lot of them assume that white guys aren't into them; conversely, a lot of white guys who find black girls attractive assume that black girls won't be into them! Also, although for the most part, no one in the Bay Area or Seattle or even LA is going to care one way or the other, in other areas that aren't as progressive and where racial tensions still run fairly high, this is for whatever reason an interracial combination that has a higher propensity for pissing off people who have nothing to do with either of you than any other.
I dated a VERY attractive black girl at my high school in the Boston area. When we went out, we got nasty stares from white women and black men frequently, and comments from the latter. My best friend is black and he has only ever dated white girls; he's never caught flak for it. Wee bit of a double standard.
so i live in an area that is only about 25% white. I myself am white and single. most of my dating is threw online dating sites and about 50% of my dates are Hispanic women due to the demographics of my area. I often here many Hispanic women in my area say that they prefer white men over Hispanic men as well as many of the women on the dating sites openly say that they are looking for a white man. To add to this many of my white friends say the prefer Hispanic women over white women
on the other hand most of the black women I have ever had the conversation with say they are not opposed to interracial dating but are just simply not into most white men. I see many of the black women on the dating sites only list black or Latino men as possible matches. where as about half of the black guys I have been friends with or played ball with in college flat out say they prefer white women over black women.
my question is why are so many black women not into white guys
I guess I'm an "out-lier", since I find myself preferring whites or latinos...but I usually attract black men.
However, most black men in my area usually date outside of their race, which is their right.
I'm not very much into rock music, but there some exceptions...The theme song to one of my favorite shows is one of them.
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Originally Posted by 415_s2k
One of the things I've heard from black women is that even if they do find white guys attractive and would be open to dating one, a lot of them assume that white guys aren't into them; conversely, a lot of white guys who find black girls attractive assume that black girls won't be into them!
This is what it seems like. I do see both cases of black/white interracial dating; but most of the time, it involves black men.
I have heard from some black women that they are not into white men because they are not seen as manly or tough. They look at them as kind of lame, dorky, and not as good in bed.
However all black women do not feel this way. I am very attractive to white men and I kind of like the cute, athletic but sort of nerdy look.
As a black man, it has to do with a historic stigma. The black women I came into contact with online who said they aren't attracted to wm is b/c they think wm are trying to fullfill some type of fetish. Then there are those who use historical facts of wm raping bw as their reason they aren't attracted to wm.
But don't let this discourage you. One of my cousins have two kids by a wm. I have seen wm/bw couples in downtown Chicago, but the city is segregated and most blacks live in mostly black neighborhoods. Your best bet is Northern California
Well, I am black and I find white men attractive but I am always afraid of being used as some kind of experiment or fling just because I am black. Some guys are very obvious in their "I've never been with a black girl before ::wink wink::" pick up lines. Or they expect me to be some sort of stereotype.
I have been in relationships with guys outside my race and have gotten some comments and looks but I just ignore it. My ex used to always claim that we got stares but i never noticed as much as him. I guess I am better at blocking out the negativity.
My family and friends don't bat an eye at interracial relationships so I guess that makes it easier. Also, I have never dated a guy outside my race who had family or friends who were against it.
Well, I am black and I find white men attractive but I am always afraid of being used as some kind of experiment or fling just because I am black. Some guys are very obvious in their "I've never been with a black girl before ::wink wink::" pick up lines. Or they expect me to be some sort of stereotype.
That's always bothered me, too. I've had male friends and acquaintances who have been like, "so, that new girl of yours is what, Japanese? Wow, I can only imagine what that's like... I wanna date one of them someday."
It's sad when people decide they need to fetishize a race to the point where dating someone from it becomes an "experience," as though it were something to take notes about and write a dissertation on.
The thing that so many people forget, too, is that there's a high chance that the people you date here in America are Americans, regardless of their race. So, if you date a black woman, she's not going to do the Forbidden Dance of the Mau-Mau to hypnotize you into the craziest sex-trip a white man has ever had. That Asian girl you met for coffee can't teach you how to smith a katana and play zen meditations on a bamboo flute, because there were no Japanese swordsmiths in Anaheim for her to learn from, and she's Korean Christian.
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I have been in relationships with guys outside my race and have gotten some comments and looks but I just ignore it. My ex used to always claim that we got stares but i never noticed as much as him. I guess I am better at blocking out the negativity.
Yeah, here in CA, I've only had a couple situations that ever stuck out to me, and those were isolated. For the most part, I've been able to walk down the street, go out for dinner, etc. without anyone even noticing.
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My family and friends don't bat an eye at interracial relationships so I guess that makes it easier. Also, I have never dated a guy outside my race who had family or friends who were against it.
That does make a huge difference. Although my father had, at one point, said to me that he always imagined me "moving to England or Sweden and marrying a nice local girl," at the same time, my dad is half nonwhite and my mom is a brunette, so what did they think was going to happen?
I dated one mostly-white girl (she was half Arab/Native American, and half French, but raised by her white mother, which made more of a difference i nher identity) in high school and she followed me out west; my parents couldn't stand her. They absolutely loved the black girl I dated around the same time, as well as the Asian gals that I've dated who they've met.
Part of my mom's thing is that she can't wait to have "beautiful grandchildren" - she places a lot of emphasis on beautiful Such a grandmother thing to say... haha.
On the contrary, I totally disagree. I get a lot of attention from the sistas so I disagree with the "they are more traditional" statements. Plus, I have seen a fair amount of interracial couples (black women / white men).
I dated a black girl (she my my second real girlfriend) and she taught me more things about love, and sex, walking thru a 'bad neighborhood' (there are no 'bad neighborhoods' just 'bad people') and eating white castle hamburgers at 3AM. The color issue was more a joke to us
(I would walk around in a "I was seduced by the dark side of the force" tee shirt, and she had one that said "the dark side of the force")
It was a great time in my life.
To My JEWISH parents, it was a SCANDAL! "she's very sweet, but she is black"
"Would you prefer I data a nice white Jewish BOY" was my reply....
she and I where together 4+ years (and I still am friends with her 25+ years later)
Oh.. umm.. what was the question again?
Jonathan
PS: When we broke up, I made her a tee shirt that said "I experienced Jonathan" (and she wore it proudly!)
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