Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
I thought it would make sense to hear some guys say there is more sex before marriage considering how there are no excuses about being tired because someone cooked a meal or two, took care of the children, got “headaches”, etc.
So women have mentioned all the things a man should make sure he does in order to have the wife give him the nod and reward him with sex but what if it’s the husband who doesn’t want it? What would woman have to do?
I thought it would make sense to hear some guys say there is more sex before marriage considering how there are no excuses about being tired because someone cooked a meal or two, took care of the children, got “headaches”, etc.
So women have mentioned all the things a man should make sure he does in order to have the wife give him the nod and reward him with sex but what if it’s the husband who doesn’t want it? What would woman have to do?
To answer that, you would have to know why the man doesn't want it. Most of the reasons are the same as why a woman wouldn't want it, which has already been discussed.
Are there reasons a man wouldn't a man want it, that are unique or more common to men? I don't know. A lot of people will talk about how weight gain will turn men off, but a) it can turn women off and b) a lot of people say that but I tend to think men are less fussy about 10 or 20 pounds than the media and conventional wisdom suggest.
I think the biggest difference, very generally speaking, is that a man can bang a woman he has negative feelings toward more easily than a woman could bang a man she has negative feelings toward. I know plenty of guys who will say they can and do have sex with their partners when they're angry or upset with them. Most of my female friends, however, generally wouldn't let their SOs touch them if the situation were reversed.
Which I think says a lot about patriarchy, entitlement, and domination in society, but that's just me.
I read all these jokes that sex becomes infrequent or to the point of nonexistent. What gives?
Well, the truth of the matter is, it is very common (a lot more common than many would like to admit) for couples to lose the spark and sexual desire towards each other. I have always believed that the lack of sex is somehow related to other obstacles that are going on in the marriage, whether it's the lack of communication or the lack of intimacy, stress of having kids, etc... And again, yet another vicious cycle, first comes the lack of communication, then lack of sex, which leads to even more problems.
Some couples become too comfortable with each other. They already got each other, there is no more pursuit and therefore they are not eager to please their spouses. It becomes a routine, monotanous thing that neither of the spouses enjoy.
Lastly, one may realize the desire of expressing him/herself and the spouse is not allowing them to let it all out and suppressing them in their desire to explore. Resentment occurs.
The most important thing in marriage is not love, it's an understanding. It's very important to understand each other and when that understanding is not missing in the marriage, most likely the sex will continue to stay great.
I thought it would make sense to hear some guys say there is more sex before marriage considering how there are no excuses about being tired because someone cooked a meal or two, took care of the children, got “headaches”, etc.
So women have mentioned all the things a man should make sure he does in order to have the wife give him the nod and reward him with sex but what if it’s the husband who doesn’t want it? What would woman have to do?
Well, the truth of the matter is, it is very common (a lot more common than many would like to admit) for couples to lose the spark and sexual desire towards each other. I have always believed that the lack of sex is somehow related to other obstacles that are going on in the marriage
Many of those obstacles do not exist before marriage. Maybe that is why it seems there is more sex and less drama before marriage when it comes to sex.
Max's mama... great post. You really said it all and I agree with your comments.
Getting back to fat partners: I completely understand a spouse being angry if their partner gets fat when the other one remains fit and trim. This would infuriate me and cause me to turn off completely to my husband. If both husband and wife gain a lot of weight and are cool with that, no worries. But if I'm busting my ass running marathons and exercising two hours a day while my husbands sits on the sofa and turns into John Candy, forget it.
I hear a lot of male colleagues (though also some women), constantly bitching that their partner has gotten fat and they just aren't attracted to them anymore. They communicate this too, and nothing usually happens.
I can't imagine such selflishness on the part of the overweight person. Wouldn't it be a wake up call if your spouse say, "Honey, I love you, but I no longer want to have sex with you. You have to lose weight. I married you thin, I need you to stay thin?"
Max's mama... great post. You really said it all and I agree with your comments.
Getting back to fat partners: I completely understand a spouse being angry if their partner gets fat when the other one remains fit and trim. This would infuriate me and cause me to turn off completely to my husband. If both husband and wife gain a lot of weight and are cool with that, no worries. But if I'm busting my ass running marathons and exercising two hours a day while my husbands sits on the sofa and turns into John Candy, forget it.
I hear a lot of male colleagues (though also some women), constantly bitching that their partner has gotten fat and they just aren't attracted to them anymore. They communicate this too, and nothing usually happens.
I can't imagine such selflishness on the part of the overweight person. Wouldn't it be a wake up call if your spouse say, "Honey, I love you, but I no longer want to have sex with you. You have to lose weight. I married you thin, I need you to stay thin?"
LOL!
I got fat. I had a nice tight body when we got married. Told him I was not interested in childbirth b/c it did a number on all the women in my genepool. He persisted and we had kids. Gained weight. I used to work out and then I injured my knee and shins. Gained more weight. Then the 2000's hit and economic trouble hit us hard as a family. Gained more weight.
During all this time, hubby got laid off-so did I. He got depressed-so did I. One night I pulled him up off the bathroom floor after a attempt to end it all. I have been with him through thick-and thin, good and bad. He gained weight but I seem to hold on to pounds like crazy and my various attempts have me dealing with some bad illnesses and an impending Gallstone removal.
I'm making necessary medical attempts to get the weight under control. In the meantime he has a hand too. He bought a huge chocolate cake for Xmas, then brought Pepsi in the house and I am detoxing from soda. I'm trying to cut the fat but he is bringing it around like "looky here cake, you can't have any!".
And men wonder why they don't get any.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
