Waiting for sex until marriage: your opinion (guy, attracted, engagement)

[BramH]

Originally Posted by alphamale

Abortion, poverty, child abuse, prostitution, STD's, AIDS.

Just to name a few.

Good points, but condoms and providing better information wouldn't be a bad solution either with still having the pleasure

[alphamale]

Originally Posted by BramH

Good points, but condoms and providing better information wouldn't be a bad solution either with still having the pleasure

Information is only useful when the information is followed.

I know a woman, liberal of course, who has herpes. Her two educated daughters also have it.

She is an educated woman with a masters in education.

Even though there are many protections out there, she contracted it because she is a tramp. Cut and dry.

Not only does she have it, but she continues to have unprotected sex with men and does not make them aware of her condition.

I only know this because she is very open about it and tells my wife everything.

[BramH]

Originally Posted by alphamale

Information is only useful when the information is followed.

I know a woman, liberal of course, who has herpes. Her two educated daughters also have it.

She is an educated woman with a masters in education.

Even though there are many protections out there, she contracted it because she is a tramp. Cut and dry.

Not only does she have it, but she continues to have unprotected sex with men and does not make them aware of her condition.

I only know this because she is very open about it and tells my wife everything.

What should I say? It's her own fault, and it doesn't bother anyone else that she is so dumb to continue having unprotected sex?

Or do we notice her consequences?

And Child Abuse? Ehm...did you follow the news lately, you know these religious old guys in churches playing with lil childeren? I think that has nothing to do with sex before marriage at all. Same as poverty.

Waiting with sex does not solve that at all.

[foxywench]

Originally Posted by alphamale
Abortion, poverty, child abuse, prostitution, STD's, AIDS.

Just to name a few.

im not sure how marriage will prevent poverty and child abuse, protitution is the oldes profession on the books.
some married people also dont want any children so it wont nessicarily prevent abortion...

again im all for waiting if thats what feels right to you.
and im ABSOLUTLY for waiting in relationship...i personally dont like casual sex...
BUT thats just for me personally...

its not for religious reasons, im pagan and the pagan culture doesnt have the stigma surrounding sex that other religoins have, its a normal natural thing.
but my mind, and heart and even body (i simply cannot get turned on if i dont trust the person im with and it takes time to build trust) simply cannot grasp the concept of sharing an intimate part of myself with someone i dont know well...

so no, i dont think 100% of the "wait a while" movment is based on religious dogma.
and i also dont think marriage shoudl be all about the religious dogma either...
mabe that however is based more on todays common veiws of marriage as somply a contract to bind 2 people into behaving themselves or money will be involved.
marriage should be about love, trust and WANTING to spend the rest of your life with that one person...
it shouldnt be about the benefits (like life insurance or "i get 1/2 of everythign if we devorse...)
*sigh*

i know many none religious people who are very happily married!
i know many people who waited to have sex untill after handfasitng/marriage and they are completly happy...
and i know others who have a "safe" promiscuous lifestyle (bc and condoms, regular std testing not sleeping with random strangers) and are also perfectly happy...
and i know many like myself who dont feel its nessicary to wait till marriage, but still prefer to wait in the relationship untill they are more comfortable, know eachother better and are not just in it for a quick trist, and those people are perfectly happy too...

what works for one, doesnt nessicarily work fro another...
and its NOT all about religion.

i dont feel marriage solves everything, many married men are pedofiles, and abuse children, many married women abuse their kids too...
many loving married families live in poverty
and many married folks im sure frequent prostitutes (infact i read somewhere that a prostitutes largest clientel were married men with families at home...)
many married couples have abortions for whatever reason, or place children for adoption...

the only thing both parties saving it for marriage realy ensures is a must smaller change of bringing std's into the relationship...and that only applies if both parties also stay true to one another and havent been exposed to std's otherwise.

as i said, i think waiting (marriage or not) is wonderfull for those who want that...
but i also dont thing anyone on either side of the argument should be bashing the other side based on the "idea" that marriage, and waiting to have sex untill married, will solve all the worlds problems.

[samston]

Originally Posted by Trimac20

Just a poll on attitudes...I can probably guess what the result will be (this being 2010 and everything), lol.

I couldn't care less really. Anybody can do anything in life, or believe what they want.

[Djuna]

Originally Posted by samston

I couldn't care less really. Anybody can do anything in life, or believe what they want.

You have brought up a good point samston. Who cares what other people do with their body and their life. As long as it doesn't hurt anyone, why would anyone fret over what other people's sex lives. That's one of the problems with this country, too many nosy people butting into other folk's private lives.

[415_s2k]

Originally Posted by alphamale

Information is only useful when the information is followed.

I know a woman, liberal of course, who has herpes. Her two educated daughters also have it.

She is an educated woman with a masters in education.

Even though there are many protections out there, she contracted it because she is a tramp. Cut and dry.

Not only does she have it, but she continues to have unprotected sex with men and does not make them aware of her condition.

I only know this because she is very open about it and tells my wife everything.

And I know a conservative woman who's a devout Catholic who has had an abortion and has genital warts.

Why the hell are you bringing the fact that she's a liberal into it other than to be divisive? Most of the women I know who have had children out of wedlock are self-described Christians who are anything but liberal A strict policy of no sex before marriage and an abstinence-only education obviously did wonders for them.

[paganmama80]

Originally Posted by alphamale

Abortion, poverty, child abuse, prostitution, STD's, AIDS.

Just to name a few.

LOL it will prevent non of those with the only thing being a reduction of std's.

[Sunflower_lol]

I heard of certain cases of some people waiting till marriage but their spouses still cheated on them. In this case there is no immunity towards catching an STD, unwanted pregnancies, abortions or simply causing pain in the marriage in which you start regretting being with them.

It's wrong to completely assume waiting till marriage will always save you from those issues..... not always. I do agree the less sexual experience one had, the more likely they will be healthy individuals but it doesn't mean they're immune towards cathing a disease, being stuck in an unstable relationship or being cheated on. Anything one of those listed can happen whether you're one of those devoted religious people or liberal.

[pkrplr1]

Originally Posted by Trimac20

Just a poll on attitudes...I can probably guess what the result will be (this being 2010 and everything), lol.

i did NOT wait with either of my marriages but i wish i had. both times she initiated sex and i was just fine with that. i was raised by strict christian parents who convinced us that we would be rewarded for waiting.
i don't think i know anyone that waited.