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View Poll Results: Your opinion on it?
Quaint and outdated throwback for prudes and religious folk, it's unnatural 68 31.63%
I understand/respect it but it's not for me 68 31.63%
People should aim for it, but I'm not strict on it 43 20.00%
Everybody should do it 36 16.74%
Voters: 215. You may not vote on this poll

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Old 12-27-2010, 10:58 PM
Status: "Never really know a killer from a savior..." (set 24 days ago)
 
Location: Tampa, Florida
10,556 posts, read 8,810,919 times
Reputation: 5590
Quote:
Originally Posted by smartalx View Post
Dude, you are repeating what everyone else has already said and I disproved it completely.
Yeah I read your posts and the whole gist of it is "wait til you're married, then you'll never know if you're sexually incompatible until it's too late to matter".

I've got two words in response. ****...that. (No pun intended)

Maybe you care so little about sex that waiting until you're married...at the risk of ending up in with someone who feels the opposite...is a viable option. For 99.9% of the population that is an illogical step against natural instincts, and personally speaking I kinda enjoy getting laid so waiting until my late 20's or 30's (if ever) wasn't even an option. Of course I'm assuming here that you practice what you preach since your profile does say that you are single.

Bottom line...I wouldn't count on changing anyone's opinions if I were you.
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Old 12-27-2010, 11:04 PM
 
89 posts, read 71,524 times
Reputation: 85
Waiting for sex until marriage could likely set yourself up for a quick divorce.
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Old 12-27-2010, 11:08 PM
 
Location: Hawaii
1,589 posts, read 1,291,994 times
Reputation: 2103
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ankhharu View Post
You go into something that's supposed to be for life and you're not going to find out if your sexually compatible with someone before hand? I wouldn't buy a used car without having it checked out. I wouldn't buy a new car without driving it first. I wouldn't loan someone money without checking out their credit history first. I wouldn't dive into water I couldn't see the bottom. etc etc etc.
Except we're talking about human beings, not commodities. I do agree with you that it's smart to choose a life partner wisely, I just believe that it's unhealthy for people to be sexually test-driven to determine if they are worthy. What type of self-respecting person would allow that?

I'd be curious to know how many woman whom you've test-driven have you married?
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Old 12-27-2010, 11:16 PM
 
1,206 posts, read 1,262,541 times
Reputation: 1104
I think sex in a commited relationship is ok. I think sex only after marriage is even better if it can be done. It really does lower alot of insecurities (about how many people each other slept with), stds (none whatsoever), and makes your marriage more special. I mean i wonder why old timers now have the lowest levels of divorce. (old fashioned values produce better marriages).
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Old 12-27-2010, 11:18 PM
 
Location: Minnesota, USA
7,280 posts, read 7,167,194 times
Reputation: 5804
I voted for the first option, when I should have selected the last!

In an ideal world, everybody would wait until marriage to have sex. Pragmatically speaking, it'd be nice if society expected that at least partners would be monogamous.
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Old 12-27-2010, 11:19 PM
Status: "Never really know a killer from a savior..." (set 24 days ago)
 
Location: Tampa, Florida
10,556 posts, read 8,810,919 times
Reputation: 5590
Quote:
Originally Posted by boodhabunny View Post
Except we're talking about human beings, not commodities.
All the more reason to do the test driving. If I test drive a 2011 Mustang GT, I can reasonably infer that all 2011 Mustang GTs will pretty much be the same and can go buy one, even if I haven't test driven that specific car. I can't say that when I'm done test driving a red head, so they must be evaluated on a case by case basis.
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Old 12-28-2010, 06:36 AM
 
Location: Salt Lake City
2,006 posts, read 2,173,023 times
Reputation: 3285
Quote:
Originally Posted by boodhabunny View Post
Except we're talking about human beings, not commodities. I do agree with you that it's smart to choose a life partner wisely, I just believe that it's unhealthy for people to be sexually test-driven to determine if they are worthy. What type of self-respecting person would allow that?

I'd be curious to know how many woman whom you've test-driven have you married?
It's a metaphor. Because anything you going to have a vested interest in, deserves research. Why should relationships be different. You don't test drive? So you don't date or anything right? I mean thats what dating is, getting to know someone. Sex is an integral part of a relationship. To pretend it's not shows insecurity. To answer your question, I've been married once, and engaged once since then.
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Old 12-28-2010, 10:46 AM
 
Location: Hawaii
1,589 posts, read 1,291,994 times
Reputation: 2103
I agree that dating is for the purpose of getting to know someone. I agree that it's important to choose your life-partner as wisely as possible.

Otherwise, I respectfully disagree with your points. Sex too soon can cloud one's judgment and will impede the ability to make a wise choice in a partner.

What are you actually learning about the other person that can only be learned through the act of sex? What type of "compatibilty issues" are you worried about?
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Old 12-28-2010, 11:20 AM
 
Location: Emerald Coast, FL
4,383 posts, read 3,393,493 times
Reputation: 6784
Quote:
Originally Posted by boodhabunny View Post
I agree that dating is for the purpose of getting to know someone. I agree that it's important to choose your life-partner as wisely as possible.

Otherwise, I respectfully disagree with your points. Sex too soon can cloud one's judgment and will impede the ability to make a wise choice in a partner.

What are you actually learning about the other person that can only be learned through the act of sex? What type of "compatibilty issues" are you worried about?
The bolded comment is something I tend to agree with. Research studies have shown that having sex within the first month of dating is strongly correlated with failed relationships. So, if your goal is a long-term relationship, then having sex too soon (before establishing compatibility and good communication) often leads to short-circuiting relationship development. Waiting longer often leads to better overall relationship outcomes.

However, I think that matters primarily if you want long-term. Personally, I enjoy meeting and dating, and have no issues with casual sex for mutual enjoyment. So, if I do think someone is serious relationship material, I won't rush sex. On the other hand, even when I have, the relationship outcome has been excellent. Ultimately, the results you get will depend on you and your partner's emotional intelligence, relationship goals, and compatibility - which are not easy to evaluate in many cases, so why not take some time?
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Old 12-28-2010, 11:29 AM
 
Location: Blankity-blank!
11,441 posts, read 8,478,630 times
Reputation: 6661
Marriage is a human invention to appease religion. Most marriages are conducted by a religious 'authority' in a religious building. The concepts of sex are also handed down by religious 'authority'. This is where the 'sex is bad' idea comes from.
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