The wonderful in laws... (wife, married, women, husband)

[yankeegirl313]

The last 2 years, we have taken over the Holiday dinners, just because his family never did anything. After my husbands Dad died, his Mom just quit having dinners, etc..
Anyway, the past few years, we have had to struggle with one of his sisters to get her to come over for dinner. She did come the first year, but last year, it was just kind of a "WTH are you gonna do" situation.
Thanksgiving, she told my husband that she wanted to have dinner at his Mom`s. I ask his mom about it, and she wanted to know why? Nobody could understand why, and it was already planned that we were gonna have it, so she didn`t show up, or her husband.
His mom told me at thanksgiving that she was gonna have dinner at her house because someone gave her a big, free, turkey.
A week before Christmas, she asks if I want to come and get the turkey, that she is not cookin`.. I went and got it, but we didn`t plan dinner. Screw that!
Come to find out, his sister that didn`t come to dinner, had a Christmas dinner, and only invited her other sister. Not us, her mom, notta!
What a sad, miserable woman.
None of them, except his Mom is going to be invited to a dinner out here, from now on.

The In-laws can really put a damper on your relationship, if you let them. I say, if you don`t get along with them, avoid them! Its not worth the trouble or hassle to have the extra drama in your life, and hopefully you will have a husband, or wife, who understands!!!!!!

[cricket_factor]

Perhaps she's intimidated by you, Yankee? (You're a better cook, more lively person, have your life better together than she does hers, etc?)

Is she a poor communicator by nature? Is she a procrastinator? Is she easily overwhelmed?

Does she drink a lot and therefore is a Sad Sack? Is she massively disorganized?

In the future, just ask her once about an invite, and nothing more. Maybe when it comes to her to have no expectations at all.

[Hawk J]

Some folks are fubar,




i woodn't even worry your pretty lil head about them, darlin'.

[yankeegirl313]

Originally Posted by cricket_factor

Perhaps she's intimidated by you, Yankee? (You're a better cook, more lively person, have your life better together than she does hers, etc?)

Is she a poor communicator by nature? Is she a procrastinator? Is she easily overwhelmed?

Does she drink a lot and therefore is a Sad Sack? Is she massively disorganized?

In the future, just ask her once about an invite, and nothing more. Maybe when it comes to her to have no expectations at all.

She is all of the above, I think. My husband said that her husband more than likely made a comment about my boobs to her, and she don`t have any..now, she`s mad.
Thats silly, if thats the case, and I ain`t ever inviting her again. I tried, and tried, and tried. I`m stubborn. Eventually, I stop. When I`m done, I`m done. Her loss. She`s gonna miss her baby brother.

[sanrene]

My husband said that her husband more than likely made a comment about my boobs to her

Is her husband that dumb? Or maybe angling for some long, drawn out punishment?

Are they real?

If they bring toxicity, angst, and grief with them, keep them out of your life.

I wouldn't let her non-invitation bother you though. Just go about your business without looking to "get back" at her. Keep it neutral.

[sierraAZ]

Why do so many spend all this time wondering who has dinner with whom and why?! People are entitled to spending the holidays however they wish and with whomever they wish!

[miyu]

Sounds like my extended family who always tries not to invite my family to dinners, only my grandfather who has $$$ for inheritance. And they aren't particularly nice to him either. Then when I invite them to dinner at my grandfather's house (just to make it festive), they don't even RSVP, nor bother showing up. I hope they all burn! And I'm sure they will since they are ugly and useless. And their whole family look like the Munsters.

[yankeegirl313]

Originally Posted by sierraAZ

Why do so many spend all this time wondering who has dinner with whom and why?! People are entitled to spending the holidays however they wish and with whomever they wish!

I know, but its just a little thing called "respect."
From now on, there will not be anymore wondering if they are going to show up, because there will not be anymore dinners, eva`.

[fallingwater]

From my experience the women in my husband's family get pretty wacko about stuff like this. I feel women get threatened when an "outsider" tries to step into a position they feel should be their role or the mother's. I have never hosted a party and invited the in-laws over. Too much of a power struggle. I have several SIL's. A catty mess I tell ya. It's like high school all over again.

[yankeegirl313]

Originally Posted by fallingwater

From my experience the women in my husband's family get pretty wacko about stuff like this. I feel women get threatened when an "outsider" tries to step into a position they feel should be their role or the mother's. I have never hosted a party and invited the in-laws over. Too much of a power struggle. I have several SIL's. A catty mess I tell ya. It's like high school all over again.

No kidding. The first couple years we were married, nobody ever got together. I have no family here, so naturally I wanted to get together and have dinner, but your right. Its a big, childish catty mess.
I`ll just make dinner for us..end of story.